19 February 2015

Boy Stories

Usually I speak and write about my four youngest daughters. But not today.  For this week’s podcast, I share some boy stories. 

I received a comment saying:

“I want to hear about when your boys were younger.”

So that’s what I’m talking about. I relate some of the interesting moments I’ve experienced with my sons Duncan and Callum over the years. 


These are a few of the questions I explore…

  • What if a son is ‘different’? Should we make our children conform and be like everyone else?
  • Is it normal for boys to be energy packed, and what if mothers hate looking at injuries?
  • Is it miraculous my son Callum made it to adulthood?
  • What interests can we share with boys?
  • What if brothers can’t get on with each other?
  • What is it like to be a boy mum? How is it different to being a girl mum?
  • Do boys like hugs?
  • And what’s it like to look up at a son instead of down at him?

I hope you enjoy my ‘boy’ podcast!

Program Notes

Boy Stories

Eight year old Callum: “I can’t live in the same room as Duncan any longer. He’s so annoying. I need a room of my own!”

I mentally survey the house. “The only free space is the bath. I don’t suppose you want to sleep in the bath?”

Boys, Dream Cars, and the Right Words

Boys and cars… Every boy needs to pursue a dream. Before very long, young men with dreams turn into men with families to support. That’s good. They all have to grow up. But for now…


A Mother’s Hug

I can no longer protect my son from the pain of the world. He’s grown up. He’s out there on his own. And my heart aches for him.

Fathers, sons, cars and LOVE. That’s not a dream. It’s reality


It’s Quite OK to Be Different

Sometimes I wish all my children were ‘normal’, part of the crowd. Would it be easier to parent such children? Would they fit in better? Would I not have to worry about them? But then I look at them, especially Jack. And I realise it’s their differences that make them so special.


How I Removed an Engine from a Car

“What do you like best, my camshaft or this?”

“Definitely the camshaft,” I say. “Poetry in motion.” We both smile. I think Callum likes how I take the time to look and listen even though I haven’t much idea about things to do with cars. I’m always exclaiming over the beauty of some part or other. (Have you ever noticed the excellent design and engineering that goes into every single piece of a car?) It’s our bit of fun, but it’s not only fun. It’s serious too. We share a lot. Callum is always talking over his plans, his dreams and his ideas with me.

READ  Unschooling Siblings Working Together

Engines, Muscles and Spending Time with Dad

Don’t you just love watching fathers and sons spending time together, sharing their skills and enjoying each other’s company? I do.

And Callum now realises if his mother can learn how to operate on a sheep then he can do anything.

Popular Posts, Sons and Smacking

“So what’s been going on in your life?” I asked. “But be careful. I’ll probably go home and write a blog post about our conversation.”

I could sigh as I think about my second son; my charming son who clomps through life with a smile; my ever-optimistic son who always hopes someone else will do his jobs for him, help him out with his washing, make him packed lunches…

I also learnt that all children are different. What interests one might not appeal to another. And this is quite OK. But more importantly, sometimes I think I know what’s best for my child to learn. I probably just want to provide as many opportunities as possible for that child. But sometimes children have better ideas of their own about what they’d like to do. I have learnt we don’t all have to learn the same things.

Multiplying Potatoes and Other Stories

A few days later we are still eating potatoes. I vaguely wonder if there is a never-ending supply. But I shrug my shoulders without thinking too much more about it and peel and cook and enjoy. Eventually, we eat so many potatoes I can’t help thinking about them. Why do we have so many potatoes when I can’t remember buying any? Are they multiplying as fast as we are eating them? I can’t work it out.

I sit across the table from my son, sipping my coffee and I think about being a parent. It is not easy being a mother. Why do we long so much to have children? Yes, bringing up children provides so much joy. But why are we prepared to endure all the pain and heartache that inevitably come along too?


The Angels of Abbey Creek

 

If you’d like to listen to more of my podcasts you can find them on iTunes and Podbean.

You can find my videos on Youtube.

My children’s book, The Angels of Abbey Creek is on Amazon, as well as other places.


And you can also find me on my Stories of an Unschooling Family Facebook page. This is where I post the resources I find, as well as other blog stuff. Please come and join me!

Sue Elvis

I'm an Australian blogger, podcaster, and Youtuber. I write and speak about unschooling, parenting and family life. I'm also the author of the unschooling books 'Curious Unschoolers', 'Radical Unschool Love' and ‘The Unschool Challenge’. You'll find them on Amazon!

13 Comments

  1. Hi Mum! I just listened to your podcast, and read through ALL of your related blog posts! I guess I must be missing you all! I'm glad I've got two little big brothers. I miss them often. Even though it wasn't always easy being the only big sister, it was good growing up with them.

    I don't think it matters how often you post podcasts, Mum. I always enjoy listening in and finding out a bit more about you and all our family, but I understand if inspiration grows thin or you need a break from the constant posting and recording cycle that take over your weeks!

    I love you! Felicity xxx

    • Felicity,

      It's strange to think of you all the way across the country listening to my podcasts about our family! I never imagined you would enjoy them so much. I guess there are family stories you haven't heard before, or haven't thought about for a while. I am recording a family history while making the podcasts!

      It does take quite some time to record, edit and publish a podcast, as well as write the associated blog post. I don't mind doing it if people are interested in listening each week. I just wonder though whether people have a hard time keeping up and would prefer a podcast less frequently. We shall see if I get any other feedback!

      It was great to see you on my blog. I love you too!

  2. So happy you categorized the PCs by "sons." Great idea, my friend~!
    I'm loving loving loving the webcasts..thank you Sue.

    Hope all is well in your corner of theworld~~
    Love ya Sue

    • Chris,

      I think I'll go back through my posts and add a 'boy' label to them, for other 'boy mums'. I didn't realise some readers want to hear about my experiences with my sons.

      Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and kind words. You really are so good at spreading joy wherever you go.

      Love you too!

  3. I love the individuality of each child. I listen to your words about your boys thinking "my son was so completely different!" I know a lot of parents have trouble with boys being overly active, rough and "boyish". Our boy has always been so well behaved, mature, dependable and well mannered. The only problem we had in his younger days was his extreme shyness, which just wore off. Now that 3 girls have followed after him we see the different natures of each one (and I can definitely say that the girls have been more challenging!)
    As far as the frequency of podcasts – I don't get to listen to every single one but I'm always glad when I get the time to. Perhaps the question would be, how often do YOU want to? I imagine each one takes quite a lot of planning and preparation. Do what suits you best 🙂
    Hope you're having a fruitful Lent thus far, God bless.

    • Kelly,

      Isn't it funny how children can be so different in different families? Our girls have always been so calm and quiet unlike our boys. The boys were definitely more challenging!

      I should have said, that despite their boisterous nature, both my boys were well mannered and 'good' boys. They weren't defiant. I just had trouble keeping up with them sometimes. But boys grow and they calm down and no one would ever suspect I used to chase after them, trying to keep up!

      I suspect from your own blog posts, you enjoy a wonderfully close relationship with your son, sharing similar interests and learning from each other. Boys, whatever their personality, are wonderful, aren't they?

      I hope you're having a very blessed Lent too. God bless you!

    • Kelly,

      I don't think I explained things very well. On the one hand I said Duncan wouldn't do what I wanted him to do. On the other, I said he was a good boy and not defiant. How could he have been both? I don't think Duncan deliberately made my life difficult. He just couldn't sit still and conform like all the other children. He was wired up differently. It's just the way he is. Yes, he is still different in many ways, but these days he has learnt skills so he can interact in a manner that society expects. Sometimes when kids don't do as we wish, it's more than naughtiness. It can be hard for them to be like everyone else. Anyway, I am sorry to be confusing. It's hard to have a discussion when my words don't make much sense!

  4. Thank you for sharing your stories. I particularly enjoyed hearing about your relationship sith your grown sons. I thoroughly enjoy each stage of my boys and I look forward to seeing them become men. I feel so blessed with my 3 sons and would love many more!
    My oldest is a quiet and softer boy and my middle is a little more unpredictable but also mostly quiet. My toddler is quieter as well, though he is more physically active than his brothers. I have a friend who has two loud and rambunctious boys. It is great to watch them all interact and my friend and I regularly swap stories that remind us that there is no right way for a boy to be. The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle has been a great tool for us to appreciate their differences more.
    At this point, I'm just glad my boys don't bring slimy things and creepy crawlies into the house. Dirt, trucks and tractors, video games and tree climbing are so much easier to handle. And head injuries….. my oldest knows how to make my heart skip a beat!

    As for podcasts, I dont always get to listen right away but I do try to catch up regularly. If you want to post weekly then feel free but if you feel that biweekly fits your life better then I'll still listen.

    • Tessa,

      Thank you for sharing your sons with me. You are so right: Boys can be very different from each other. My sons Duncan and Callum are like chalk and cheese, both in personality and appearance. However, I think both caused my heart to skip a beat when they were children! I don't remember slimy things.

      I haven't seen The Child Whisperer. I shall take a look!

      Thank you for the podcast feedback. I read that podcasts should be scheduled regularly. Maybe not quite as relaxed as blogging. Maybe I'll plan a podcast for every two weeks. I'll see how that fits in!

      I appreciate your comment very much.

  5. I really enjoyed hearing about your sons.

    In our house my daughter is definitely the wild one. Both my children are energetic and athletic and constantly on the move, but my son is calmer than his sister. She is the really wild one. A dare devil my frieds say. A little stunt girl who laughs danger in the face. She loves mountain climbing and bouldering and sometimes seeing her up on a wall in the mountains….Well, I have gotten used to it. She is also always barefoot or so it seems. Climbing trees barefoot and the hanging upside down from one of the high branches? No hands, mommy. Sounds like fun to my daughter. Not for me really, but she is strong and as she gets older, she learns about safety and precaution and that you do not have to risk everything just because you know your body is strong enough. She has learned to doublecheck the rope and the knots when climbing. Just to make you feel better, mommy. Though she really is intersted in safety now. She wants to take an outdoors first aid class. Fine with me, because we spend a lot of time hiking and backpacking.

    My son loves being active, but he does not care for anything that seems even remotely aggressive. Wrestling? No thank you. My daughter on the other hand loves rough play and wrestling. Sticks are fun toys for both of my kids. They make great swords. Every once in a while a finger gets hurt in the action. My son is careful and gentle. If it happens, I know my girl has jumped in. But no matter how high she climbs, how high she jumps and how carelessly she flips or spins on her bike, there are seldom any real accidents. A few scrapes and bruises here and there. My daughter hardly seems to flinch. She burned her arm sliding down a rope and did not tell me until I noticed it the next morning.

    We have had trips to the ER though. Ironically enough, my daughter has never hurt herself doing something dangerous. Silly things. She tripped over a moving box and broke her wrist. She needed stitches on her head after leaning against a bike rack that was not bolted in right….

    I am pretty relaxed fortunately, but it is hard seeing your child bleed or getting hurt in any way.

    It is always funny for me when I hear people talk about how the boys are just so energetic and wild and how they seem to bounce off walls. I guess that is the experience of many mothers, because I hear it a lot. For us it is my daughter who does not want to snuggle or be read to. She is bouncing off the walls. So different from me in so many ways. So strong. I have come to love the high energy. Sometimes I joke that I wish I could bottle it up and sell it. I could make a good living for us :-).

    Someone told me my daughter’s red curls are “to blame”. Wild, untameable hair. Wild girl.

    When the movie BRAVE came out, I felt so excited. Not just because it was finally a movie without a romantic love story, but because there was finally a princess just like my girl. Same wild hair, love for climbing and wild horseback rides and being free and independent. Same challenging demeanor. Of course I hope my daughter will never feel the urge to turn me into a bear. But I am guessing that’s where unschooling comes in handy. You know, putting our relationship first and trust and respect and all. There might not be a need for her to turn me into a bear.

    I am really glad I have come across your blog and even your podcast. I do not listen to podcasts. Never ever. I prefer reading bog posts. But I have enjoyed your posts, so I thought I could give the podcast a go too. I still prefer reading posts, but you have a beautiful voice. Quite calming to listen to. So my son and I have listened to this episode while playing with his marbles, while my daughter has been bouncing up and down on her crashpad in her room, yielding a wooden sword and yelling about pirate treasures and traitors (while wearing a fancy dress and a flower crown she has made out of paper).

    Unschooling life is good.

    Have a wonderful weekend, dear Sue.

    • Calla,

      I’m sorry it’s taking me a long time to reply to your delightful comments. I love chatting in the comments and usually, I’m much quicker at continuing the conversation.

      It’s been a very full but good week. I have finished proofreading my second unschooling book. Radical Unschool Love is now ready for formatting into a book! My daughter Imogen said she hopes to take a look at it tomorrow. She’s my formatting girl. She’s going to make my words look pretty so that we can upload the file to Amazon and then order a proof copy.

      I’ve also been busy with this week’s podcast. I just published episode 152. Maybe you will listen now that you are a podcast listener!!

      I loved hearing about your children. Each child is so fascinating. Each has her own personality. Some keep us on our toes more than others!

      We also enjoyed the movie Brave. Oh yes, unschooling will protect us. We don’t have to worry about being turned into bears!

      Almost a week has passed since you wrote your comment. Now it’s my turn to wish you a wonderful weekend! (It’s Friday afternoon here in Australia.) It’s been lovely chatting with you!

      • Sue, thank you for your reply. And don’t worry please. I do not expect a timely response. Or even a response at all. It is kind of you to respond to comments and I do appreciate it so much. I do know how busy life can get. Both in a stressful way and in a good way. So I do not think any mom would expect you to respond quickly. A week seems quick to me. I tend to be much slower. 🙂

        We have been out hiking and exploring again. My daughter, as usual has found bones and this time, we have found a complete skeleton. Unfortunately it was the skeleton of a dog. Eaten by a bear or a mountain lion. We are not sure. My daughter loves to bring bones home. But a complete dog skeleton? I was not ready to carry that around in my backpack and I really do not want that in my house.

        I admit, I am a bit squirmish. I hope that is a word. English isn’t my mother tongue, so I am sometimes not sure if my translations make sense. Anyway. I am trying not to be too strange when it comes to bones. My daughter is fascinated and likes to measure them, find out what animal they came from and what part of the animal….She does not mind cleaning the bones. She will contact experts to find out more if books and websites do not give clear answers. It is great learning really.

        One day she wanted to bring home a duck head that still had feathers and flesh attached. “You can easily boil that down, Mama.” We are a plant-based family. I have never eaten meat. So to me, that was A LOT to ask, but I still regret having said no. And now I am way more helpful and encouraging. I can see how much she learns.

        Poop is also a welcome find. Bear poop is such an exciting find. “Let’s bag it up and look at it under a microscope.”

        The things you find and learn about while having fun hiking.

        My daughter has no issue bringing in strange insects and I am glad she has finally learned to at least not let them go wild in my bedroom. She is very careful and takes great care so she can return them to the wild after having looked up info about her find. Actually, most of the time she does not even have to bring them in anymore. As she is getting older she is not as worried about me seeing her finds. Or she takes pictures to show me….

        Life is exciting.

        And I love learning by listening to your podcast and reading your blog posts. Especially your blog posts. I like to read words. I am getting ready to order your book too. I am thinking of waiting until they are both available. And I would love a third book about record keeping.

        Again a weekend….Have a great one with your beautiful family.

        • Calla,

          Oh my, your daughter is a very curious person! What a lot of learning results from your hikes. Stories like yours really do provide evidence that kids are wired to learn.

          A dog eaten by a bear or mountain lion? That sounds so exotic to me. We don’t have bears or lions. If your daughter visited us, she’d easily find a kangaroo, fox, wallaby, possum or wombat body to investigate and learn from. Sometimes we find bones on the bush tracks where we run. Usually, we run around them. I imagine your daughter would stop, collect the bones and take them home to look at them properly!

          Thank you for your interest in my books. Maybe you listened to my latest podcast because you know about the record keeping book idea. I think that would be a useful book for people who are unsure about how to record unschooling in a way that impresses the education department.

          Here, it’s a sunny late autumn day. This morning, I had coffee with my husband in a favourite cafe. This afternoon, I might experiment with a video or some photos. There are always so many interesting things to do. Yes, life is exciting!

          I hope you’re having a brilliant weekend with your family!

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