A few days ago I announced I was taking a blogging break. So what am I doing writing a post? Well, I just want to jot down a few thoughts while they’re fresh in my mind.
The other day I received a letter from the education department: If I want to reregister my children as homeschoolers, I need to fill in the appropriate forms. If I don’t, I have to send details of the school my children will be attending.
School? What if my girls went to school? Would they cope? How would life change?
These were idle thoughts. I know I can’t send my girls to school. It wouldn’t be fair to them. They’d soon realise they are different to everyone else. The other kids would realise this too.
Are my children different because they have been unschooled? Or is ‘different’ who they are? Has unschooling just given them the freedom to be themselves?
I went to school. I was different. I didn’t fit in. I ended up feeling like I wasn’t worth knowing. I wasn’t popular. I wasn’t pretty. I wasn’t particularly clever. I ended up being a disppointment, never matching up to other people’s expectations. I didn’t make anything of my life. Or so I was led to believe.
But I’ve just realised I’m not the person I thought I was. I am not a disappointment. I’ve done lots of worthy things. This might not be the right thing to say. Maybe I can think it but it’s wrong to tell other people. I shall say it anyway: I am clever.
Yes, I’m different but that doesn’t mean I’m not okay.
My whole family is different. How are we not like most other people? I’m still trying to work that one out. I know we think differently. Often we are reluctant to share our thoughts. What if people think we’re weird? What if they don’t understand what we’re saying? Will they judge us if they heard our honest opinions? And what about our sense of humour? I could never tell you our ferret/possum story which makes us howl with laughter. It wouldn’t be safe. You might think there’s something wrong with us. I wouldn’t blame you. I used to think that too.
We’re different. School made me feel that different was wrong. I don’t want my children to experience that feeling, so I’ve sent off the necessary forms to the education department. I’m reregistering my children as homeschoolers. (Of course, I didn’t really consider school as an option.)
I’ve jotted down what I want to remember. Now back to my blogging break. I’ve got some more thinking to do…
Have you ever felt different? Do you know who you really are? Or have other people influenced how you see yourself?