When Worry Gets in the Way of Love


Sometimes life can feel very overwhelming. Parenting is not always easy. There are so many concerns and worries.

It starts very early:

Do I have enough milk for my baby?
When will my child sleep through the night?
Will she ever wean?
How long will it be before she’s out of nappies?

Then when a child gets to school age it gets worse, especially if we decide to homeschool:

Will my child learn to read?
Will she ever learn to write?
Will she become addicted to computer games?
Will she learn everything she needs to know?

Sometimes we wonder if we should pass all that worry onto someone else and send our children to school. But we battle on. It’s our duty.

Even when a child is almost grown, the worries do not stop:

Will she get into university?
Will she get a job?
Will she ever leave home and be able to look after herself?
Will she find someone suitable to marry?
Will she always love her faith?

The concerns are endless.

Do our kids know how much we worry?

If we don’t talk about our concerns directly to our children, they might hear us mulling them over with our husbands or other mothers. Even if we never say a word, they can still pick up on our moods and attitudes.  And I wonder how that makes our children feel.

We might assume they feel loved knowing we worry about them all the time. We wouldn’t worry if we didn’t care, would we?

But recently, I had another thought. What if my children came to the conclusion that all these concerns were making me unhappy? Instead of feeling loved, they might feel they were just a problem to me.

Mothering should be a pleasure. Life should be joyful. And our children should feel enjoyed and loved. But unfortunately so many concerns get in the way.

I am tucking my youngest girls into bed.

“I really enjoyed spending time with you today!” I say.

The girls’ eyes glow with happiness. 

“I love you, Mum,” they both say as they wrap their arms about me.

“I love you too, “I reply. “I love being your mother.”

I turn off the light. It’s the end of another joy-filled day, a day in which I refuse to be anxious.

My children will get where they are meant to go because God will take care of that. All I have to do is focus on this present moment. I can’t worry, even though I’m tempted to at times, because I want to enjoy my children, make sure they feel enjoyed and…

I want nothing to get in the way of love.


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Comments

  1. Reply

    Sue, I am always telling you this, but you really are so wise. You are a wonderful mother and the faces on your beautiful girls tell the world that. You should write a book on parenting…I'm serious. You have such great instincts about it. That's why both Nancy and I have applied to be adopted by your family 🙂 Will you include us in all the pictures with our new sisters? LOL Hugs dear Sue xo

    1. Reply

      Patricia,

      I fear you are too kind! But that's just like you. You are full of love. I could write a book on parenting. I'd fill it with all the mistakes I have ever made! That would make entertaining reading! It is just as well my mothering career is turning out to be a long one. I might just get everything sorted out by the time Gemma-Rose grows up! (I hope!)

      I've been thinking about the person I was 26 years ago, and the person I am now. Oh I have changed! I might sound peaceful and calm now but I used to get myself into some awful scrapes when I was a new mother because of my temper. God is so good and can perform miracles with us, if only we persevere. Now I've stopped getting all wound up over things, God's working on my next problem…

      Your application for adoption has been approved. Of course you will both have to be MY sisters and not my daughters' sisters. I want you for my own! Hugs to you too! xxx

  2. Reply

    It's so easy to forget this in the chaos of day to day life but you are so right…it's taking the time for those little moments that makes all the difference. 🙂

    1. Reply

      Rebecca,

      I have come to the conclusion that it's the little things that make the most difference to our children…. stopping for a hug, telling them what a great day we've had with them, saying 'I love being your mother'… We can all do these things. It's not hard. We just need to remember to do them.

      Thank you for your comment!

  3. Reply

    I definitely need a lot more of your kind of calm Sue! A very inspiring post, thank you 🙂

    1. Reply

      Kelly,

      I used to find it difficult to remain calm. Somewhere along the way it became easier. I am thinking love had a lot to do with it. Or maybe I just got too old and tired and gave in! No… definitely love. Our children teach us so much.

      Thank you for reading!

  4. Reply

    love, love, love it! such a great reminder which i need. i get so worried. they know it, too. i just need to offer it up and stay in the moment. thanks for your great words!

    1. Reply

      Missy,

      Thank you! I guess if our kids hear us worrying, it might affect their confidence. Don't we trust they will become the people they are meant to be? I wonder if they start worrying too. Yes, living in the moment isn't easy. Time seems to pass so quickly and I find myself grabbing at the moment more and more, wanting to savour my life and family just as they are today. I guess that helps!

  5. Reply

    What a warm, love-filled post. As Patricia said, the faces of your girls tell the world what a wonderful mother you are. And of course I shall be YOUR sister…. after all, it would be terribly awkward for you to have a daughter OLDER than yourself!

    1. Reply

      Nancy,

      I'm not sure I'm a wonderful mother but I do think my children are happy. They are very forgiving of all my mistakes! And they smile a lot!

      I've always wanted an older sister so if you and Patricia agree, I now have two. This does mean you have some obligations that go with the relationship. Sisters are forever, you know. Is that okay?

      "… it would be terribly awkward for you to have a daughter OLDER than yourself!" hehe How would I ever explain that one?

  6. Reply

    Today has been a bit challenging. I was doing just fine, then fear came knocking and before you know it, we were sitting down to an all you can eat buffet!! I am now fat with worry and doubt when just a while ago I was light with love and hope.

    I know fear is evil. I know it kills love. I know that love is behind EVERY good thing. I know this. And I still let fear in.

    I got your evernote vlog just now and clicked on to read/watch. But then I thought better of it (I am SO tired!) and decided I would save it for the morning. But before I clicked away from your page, I noticed the "Difficult Days.." tab above. I had to click. I read this. I got misty eyed.

    Thank YOU, Sue!!…for who you are. I certainly hope today was a good one for you and you feel God's love strongly. And can I be your sister too??? 😉 Much much love to you… <3

    1. Reply

      Dulcinea,

      I'm so sorry you've had a difficult day. What a vivid description of fear and doubt! Oh yes, fear appears sometimes so unexpectedly. I am always amazed at how moods can change so quickly. The world can look so wonderful one day but the next… life is just so difficult and I feel burdened.

      I'm so glad you stopped to say hello. I wish we could sit and sip coffee together and chat. I used to do that a lot with friends, years ago. These days I don't see anyone from week to week, and I miss mulling over parenting, homeschooling and life with friends. Maybe that's why I blog!

      I have had a good day thank you! I made part 2 of my Evernote unschooling records video. It's uploading to Youtube at this moment. I'm not happy about the quality of it but never mind. I fear I will never make a professional vlogger!

      Of course you can be my sister! That would be so lovely. Thank you for asking! I am praying you will wake up to a better day tomorrow. Sending back much love and hugs xxx

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