Adult Peer Pressure, Clothes, Rules, and Compassion

Have you even made decisions based on other people’s opinions rather than the needs of your own family? I have. I almost ruined my relationship with my eldest daughter by doing this. I chose to listen to my friends rather than to my child. You see, I wanted to be accepted by the group. I bowed to adult peer pressure.

Adult peer pressure can affect the way we unschool. Sometimes we might find ourselves doing things we just aren’t ready for so that others will approve of us. We don’t want to feel excluded from the unschooling community. We certainly don’t want to be criticised.

Adult peer pressure can be hard to resist. I wonder why this is. Are we swayed by other people’s opinions because we lack confidence? Do we find it hard to do things differently from everyone else? Perhaps we don’t want to feel alone.

I’m talking about adult peer pressure in this week’s podcast. I tell the sad story of how, years ago, I made my teenager’s life difficult because I let myself be led by the opinions of others.

In Episode 101, I also discuss the following topics:

  • Communication skills: Are we good communicators? Why is it important that we know how to communicate? What about our kids? How do they deal with people in the bigger world who fail to treat them with the respect and politeness they have come to expect?
  • Rules: Do we need to make rules? Or are they ineffective? Do rules set us up for battles with our kids?
  • Jeggings: Is it okay for a mother as old as me to wear them? And are my jeggings fitting more comfortable after a month of our great weight loss adventure?

Show Notes


Episode 60: Listening to Kids

Episode 65: Dealing With Our Fears and Other People’s Critical Comments

Blog Posts

When a Parent Makes a Teenager’s Life Unnecessarily Difficult

If We Collaborate Could We Light a Gentle Unschooling Fire?

Podcast Music

Twombly by Podington Bear(CC BY-NC 3.0)

Images: My girls are communicating very well with each other as they film a music video while wearing their very practical but pretty jeggings and tunics! (All things I talk about in episode 101!)

So I’m wondering if you have ever been affected by adult peer pressure. Do you get involved in heated discussions on Facebook? And what do you think of jeggings? Do you wear them? I’d love to chat so please feel welcome to stop by!

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    • venisa
    • July 1, 2017

    I just finished listening to podcast 101. So glad you are continuing to podcast Sue Elvis! This was perfect for me because I have been thinking a lot about communication. Sometimes I do just expect people to understand my motives and thoughts and later reflect that I did not express myself well at all!!! I guess you are right that we do need to be cautious. On the other hand, like you were talking about, sometimes we just need to put ourselves out there and do our best because there is not time to carefully plan each word. Communication is tricky and I will say that I found myself in a sticky situation with one of my teenage daughters and her ipod. Luckily, I was able to see that there was a mistake on my part and we were able to come to an agreement. So I really felt for you in the story about Felicity’s clothes. The story about Thomas was very touching! I want to be like the Sarah in the story. What a wonderful gift!

    PS I love the tunic tops you find. They are very cute! I like a more feminine style too but tend to wear jeans. I have started upgrading my style from “whatever I have in my closet” so perfect time to talk about fashion choices!

    1. Reply


      Communication is indeed tricky! I can relate to your story about your teenage daughter and her iPod. Sometimes I say something and then think, “That was the wrong way to say it!” I can usually tell when I’ve gone wrong by looking at my children’s faces. I then apologise and try again. It does get easier with practice!

      Although we haven’t yet met in real life, I suspect you are very much like my friend Sarah. You are always so sensitive to my feelings and you make such a huge effort to try and place yourself in my shoes. It can’t be easy when we are communicating only with words, but somehow you manage to do it. You are a good friend, always supporting and encouraging and caring about me. Thank you!

      I recently upgraded my clothes style. It’s good to do this every now and then. It’s fun sharing clothes ideas with daughters.

      Thank you for listening to my podcast. As always, it’s good to chat with you!

  1. Reply

    I really enjoyed this episode! I like hearing other moms admitting their mistakes/weaknesses, makes me feel better about not being perfect.

    I’ve had to fight pressure, too, especially lately about our decision to unschool. I know that I have family who disagree with what we’re doing, and that’s probably what took me so long to decide to do it in the first place. So, yeah, adult peer (and family) pressure happens.

    LOL, I never heard of jeggings until now. Thought maybe it was an Aussie thing; nope, the US stores sell them, too! One pressure I’ve never bent to, is that which comes from the fashion designers. 😉

    1. Reply


      I’m so glad you enjoyed this episode and to hear you can relate to some of the things I talked about.

      I never thought I’d wear jeggings. Like you, I don’t feel pressured to wear the latest trends. I usually ignore what’s in fashion. However, I discovered jeggings are good. I wouldn’t wear them as jeans like many teenagers do, but they are a nice warm layer under my tunics/dresses!

      Thank you so much for listening to my podcast and for stopping by to chat!

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