I have been sitting and thinking about something I said in my last post Time to Unschool…
“Sometimes I wish I could go right back to the beginning and do it (homeschooling) all over again properly.”
“Properly”? I make it sound like I have got everything worked out and I’m homeschooling perfectly, don’t I? Well, we have certainly come a long way in nearly 20 years. But perfection? Sigh! Sigh! Perhaps not. And I don’t think we will ever be perfect unschooling parents. There is always something more to learn, something more we could be doing a little better.That’s life. If we thought we knew everything, we’d stop growing.
Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking I do know everything. Sometimes I am so sure about my opinions. Usually I unwisely write these opinions down where everyone can read them (in a blog post perhaps). Some time later, I have a change of heart but my previous words haven’t vanished. They can still be read by whoever comes along. Very frustrating. Sometimes I am a bit scared to write anything down just in case…Then I convince myself that THIS time I have got it right. I won’t be changing THIS opinion. Why don’t I ever learn? Learn what? That there is always something more to learn!
So although I am so very grateful to God for leading us to unschooling and to Suzie Andres and her books, I suspect I still have so much more to learn. My mothering and my unschooling will no doubt undergo changes here and there as I listen, read, discuss, pray, and… learn. And that is good. That is the unschooling way: life-long learning. And it might be good for my humility too.
So I have found the perfect method of homeschooling my children but I haven’t yet perfected my own style of unschooling. I could get discouraged. I want to give the best to my children. How can I do that if I am constantly learning? My children have no choice but to put up with me as I find out more and become a better mother. I will probably hit my peak just as our last child walks out the door on her way to make her own way in the world: “Hey! You can’t leave. I’ve just got it all worked out!”
Have you ever said, “I’ll have everything figured out by the time I get to my last child”? I think of our first child. Felicity had it a lot harder than Gemma-Rose. All those mistakes I made. I could worry about this. I could feel guilty. But what would be the point? We can’t go back and fix them up. There is one thing that keeps me from despair. We are not just unschoolers. We are Catholic unschoolers.
The word ‘Catholic’ makes all the difference. We have our Faith. We can offer all our mistakes to God. We can ask Him to turn them to good. We are only little and we try our best but it is God who is in charge. He can take our little efforts and goodwill and He can perform miracles.
Mothering… unschooling…I thank God the results are in His hands, not ours.
I hope you will share with me so we can all keep learning.