Are There Times When You Should Never Give Up Unschooling?

Are there times when you should never give up unschooling? Are there circumstances that could cloud your judgement and lead to poor decisions?

Life might not be going well, and you could blame unschooling. You decide everything will be better once you take control and get everyone back on track. But is unschooling the problem? Or is it the scapegoat for something else?

When Unschooling Doesn't Seem to be Working

We decide to unschool. Everything goes really well. Our kids are learning. Our family bonds are strengthening. Life is full of joy. Then one day, things change. Something happens. Maybe a child makes a mistake. She could choose to go her own way. Do something we’re not happy about. We begin to doubt what we’re doing. We think: Perhaps unschooling doesn’t work after all. Maybe the critics are right: You should have kept tight control over your kids! Yes, we feel like we’ve failed. We hear a lot of positive things from unschoolers. I suppose that’s because most parents want

Life can look grey when you’re tired or sick and unable to cope.

How about when you feel out of sorts? Could kids sometimes feel this way, too?

Tired and Cranky and Lacking Enthusiasm

I was awake nice and early this morning. Too early. I lay awake at 4 am thinking… How will I be able to run if I don’t get more sleep? How will I get through the day? But of course, sleep never happens when we most want it. So I got up this morning, a Monday morning, and I didn’t experience that wonderful Monday morning feeling I was telling you about a couple of weeks ago.  Maybe you came to my blog looking for an inspiring story. And here I am telling a tired morning story. Sometimes bloggers’ lives can

What if someone criticises your decision to unschool? Do doubts suddenly overwhelm you? Do you wonder if the critic is right?

Dealing with Our Fears and Other People's Critical Comments

The other day my daughter Sophie received an email. She read part of it out to me and then said, “What do you think?” “She hasn’t expressed herself very well,” I remarked. “I don’t suppose she meant to sound so abrupt.” “How do I reply?” We discussed a few ideas and I finished with these words: “Whatever we write, perhaps the most important thing is to be kind.” Sophie giggled. “Have courage and be kind.” “Yes, like Cinderella,” I agreed. Cinderella’s mother had the right idea. We should do everything with kindness. Unfortunately, not everyone places much importance in kindness.

What about those times when someone tests your child and seems unimpressed with the result?

Having the Confidence to Ignore the Opinions of Others

Gemma-Rose is eight years old, and she still can’t tell the time. Well, that’s not quite true. If I put my watch in front of her and say, “What’s the time?” she’ll screw up her face and look unhappy for a while, and then eventually she’ll give me the correct answer. But her calculating will be accompanied by a lot of huffing and puffing, and the answer won’t arrive instantly.Now this situation might shock some people. Can’t all school kids of her age use an analogue watch? Perhaps it confirms some people’s negative opinion of homeschooling or unschooling in particular.

Has your child made a mistake or behaved in a way that embarrassed you in front of others?

Reflecting Badly On Our Family

Andy and I take Nora and Quinn to the vet for their annual checkups. We wonder if our dogs are the correct weight for their size. Are their coats clean and shiny? Do they look happy and well cared for? The vet says our pets are magnificent. We swell with pride. We passed the test. Our dogs are an excellent reflection of us. But are our kids excellent reflections of us? If someone looks at them, will they say, “Andy and Sue are wonderful parents!” Often, kids are told, “Don’t do anything that reflects badly on our family.” We worry

What if you’re unschooling, but life doesn’t look like the one you’d imagined?

Are you a lone unschooler in a crowd of more conventional homeschoolers? Do you feel different and isolated and yearn for kindred spirit friends who understand what you’re doing?

Before deciding to leave unschooling behind, perhaps you could take some time out for reflection. Abandon all your plans for the day. Declare a holiday. Make some coffee, sit quietly, and think.

Is tiredness, criticism, illness, a lack of knowledge, experience and support or some other reason affecting how you’re feeling about unschooling? Can you postpone making a decision about unschooling until a time when your judgement isn’t compromised?

While you’re unsure what’s the best thing to do, you could:

• Rest.
• Look after your health.
• Read more about unschooling.
• Join an unschooling community or a support group like The Virtual Kitchen Table.
• Think about what attracted you to unschooling in the first place. 
• Recognise that life isn’t perfect for anyone. All homeschoolers experience ups and downs. Changing methods won’t guarantee an absence of problems. Ask the question: will unschooling give your family the connections to weather the inevitable storms? Is unschooling the perfect way to live an imperfect life?
• You could also do a challenge or two from my book, The Unschool Challenge, to increase your understanding of unschooling and build up your confidence. The challenges will also give you many ideas if you’ve lost enthusiasm because you’ve got stuck in a rut.

Examining An Unschooling Life

I drop a peppermint teabag into my favourite glass mug, add boiling water, and carry it to the living room. Opening the blinds so I can see the sun as soon as it rises, I settle on the sofa with the cat, who keeps trying to sit on my head. I grab my journal and chew the end of my pen while I think of the past week. While my family sleeps, I review my week in the pre-dawn Saturday darkness.   I flip back through last week’s journal entries and reread my notes: quotes from books I’m reading, thoughts

So, the ideal decision-making moment arrives. You’re feeling rested, supported, and hopeful. Now’s the time to ask the important question: Is it time to give up unschooling? Or could the question no longer be relevant?

Have you discovered that unschooling is exactly what your family needs to do?

I have written many other blog posts about difficult days when we experience doubts and fears, criticism dents our confidence, and we question what we’re doing, including this one for my magnificent blog supporters:

An Unschooling Imposter

The other day, I posted the following words on social media: Do you ever have times when you fall apart? You just can’t cope? You question everything you’re doing? I felt like this last week. You see, we’re not a perfect family. In particular, I’m far from the perfect mother I’d like to be. I’ve wondered if I’m on the wrong pathway. What if I’m leading others astray by sharing my stories? Yes, I’ve had a difficult time recently. There have been too many problems for my soft mother’s heart to deal with. I’ve wondered: Why do my kids have

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Image

A double rainbow captured in the Great Lakes area of Tasmania as sunlight poured through after a storm.

Sometimes beautiful things come out of a grey day, don’t they?