We Should Say What’s in Our Hearts (While We Can)
Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time with my teenage daughter Sophie. I’m enjoying her company while I can. At the weekend, she’ll be travelling 8 hours north to a country town where she’s got a new job. Sophie is leaving home.
The other day, Sophie and I headed into town to have lunch together. As we were winding our way along the road that leads out of our village, we chatted about her upcoming adventure. I told Sophie how proud of her I am. I also told her that I’ll miss her when she moves away. I love her so much!
I’ve heard some people say that we shouldn’t praise our kids or tell them we’re proud of them because our words might negatively influence them. Will they do things just to keep us happy or to earn our approval? But, despite the warnings, I express my feelings to my kids. I can’t help myself. It all bubbles out! I am in awe of the people my kids are, and I think they need to hear that.
Yes, I think it’s important that we share what’s inside us, so our kids don’t have to guess what we’re thinking and feeling. Express our love. Say we’re proud of our children. It’s essential. That’s what they need. Could we all have an inbuilt need to hear words of love and pride from those we love the most? How many people are still waiting and hoping to hear them even though they’re now grown up?
Although I told Sophie I have confidence in her, I also told her that if things don’t work out the way she hopes, that’s okay. “If you change your mind about your new job or living so far away, you’re always welcome to come home.” If Sophie reappears on our doorstep, she won’t have failed. One adventure will have come to an end. We’ll enjoy having her at home before she sets out on her next one.
Maybe it’s important that our kids know they have a safe family refuge even when they’re adults. A place to come back to. Somewhere where they know they’ll always be welcome and loved and accepted.
I say it again: “Sophie, I love you! I’m so proud of you!”
We should say what’s in our hearts. Express what’s inside us. Do this while we can.