How Introverts Aren't Necessarily Shy
Introverts aren’t shy. At least we’re not.
Yes, we’re an introverted family. The whole lot of us. This is rather nice because we understand each other perfectly. Outsiders often don’t.
When we’re at a gathering, especially if there’s a crowd, we might be quiet and reserved. We’re out of our environment. We don’t feel comfortable. And people might say, “Join in. Don’t be shy!”
We protest, “We’re not shy!” But maybe no one believes us.
Shy people stand on the fringes. They wonder if it would be rude to slip away and go home. Without saying goodbye to anyone, of course. And we feel the same way. Even though we’re not shy.
We arrive home after a party and sigh with relief. We say, “That’s enough socialising for a month.” Or two or three. Are we unfriendly? Is that what people think? Shy and unfriendly. Sometimes I feel we should make more effort. Try and be who we’re not so everyone knows we’re pleased to see them. Because we do like people.
We like gathering around a dinner table with a few close friends. Delicious food, a glass of red wine, a good lump of cheese, a pile of crisp biscuits, lively conversation… Perfect! No need to be quiet and reserved. So no one says, “Join in. Don’t be shy!”
I wonder why people think we’re shy.
Shy: nervous or timid in the company of other people
Quiet and reserved, not nervous and timid. That’s us. Unless we’re together, doing something we love. Then you might think we’re extroverts. We get loud and very silly.
We did something very silly not so long ago. We made a silly video of ourselves and posted it on Youtube for all the world to see. Would shy people do that? I don’t think so.
“The video is live!” shouts my daughter Imogen.
The video is live? I didn’t even see it before it was uploaded to Youtube. What does it look like? What do I look like? Terrible? I wore no make-up. I was wearing scruffy holiday clothes. Perhaps I should have said, “I can’t be in your music video. I’m too shy!”
Except I’m not.
We made the silly video a few weeks ago while we were on holiday at Swan Lake. We hadn’t planned to make it. This is how it happened…
Early one morning, we recorded Fight Song, a new music video for my daughter Imogen. And while we were filming and Imogen was singing, Gemma-Rose and Andy spontaneously made up actions to go with the words:
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion…
(I don’t know how Imogen concentrates when her team is doing ridiculous things around her.)
Later, I said, “Why don’t we record the video again. This time Team Elvis can be the backing dancing group. We can do Gemma-Rose and Dad’s actions while Imogen sings.”
It seemed a good idea at the time…
So are introverts shy? Not necessarily!
If you’d like to hear the full story of this music shoot, you could listen to podcast 81: Are You a Daring and Adventurous Parent?
Are you an introvert or do you prefer to have lots of people around you? And are you silly?