Why Parents Should Help with the Family Chores

When I was at school, my friend Beatrix never had to do any chores. She didn’t have to wash dishes, clean bathrooms, or sweep floors. I wonder if she had to clean her bedroom. Beatrix’s mother said that once she was grown up and had a home of her own, she’d have to do all the chores. She wouldn’t have a choice. For now, she needn’t do any. 

I don’t think many parents take this approach to chores. Most say kids must learn to do chores because they’re part of life. They might as well get used to doing them now because they’re not going away.

My husband, Andy, and I didn’t follow either of these parenting approaches. Our motivation for doing chores was love, not of the tasks themselves but the people we were doing them for. We like helping those we love.

This morning, Andy and I decided to clean the house for Easter, making everything sparkle before our children arrive for an Easter Sunday feast tomorrow. As I vacuumed, swept, mopped, dusted, emptied, and tidied, I thought about former Holy Saturdays when our whole family pitched in with the pre-Easter clean. It was quick work because of lots of hands. These days, Andy and I work our way around our house with its acres of tiles, windows, and carpets, doing the chores by ourselves.

Imagine what would have happened when our kids left home if we’d not been used to doing chores. We might have felt lost and helpless, overwhelmed by all the work. We might have had to get used to living in a mess.

So, we could say to parents, “One day, when all your kids are grown up, you will have to do all the chores by yourself. You might as well get used to doing the housework now. You should help your kids.”

But I still think love is the best reason for doing chores.

I’m cleaning the house because I want my kids to arrive home tomorrow and enjoy the fruits of my work. After Mass, we will sit around our big polished table, light some candles, fill our glasses with something cool and sparkly, and give thanks for the feast in front of us and each other before enjoying the best meal of the year.

Happy Easter.

More Chore Ideas

My post, Unschoolers, Chores and Rosters, is crammed with chore ideas, both mine and those of other people. Why not check it out?

Unschoolers, Chores and Rosters

How do parents encourage kids to help with the chores? Is the example of parents important? Do parents have to be willing to do everything they want their kids to do? Do they need to have a generous and loving attitude? And what about chore rosters? Do they discourage children from freely offering their help? Or does it depend on how they’re used?

Can families live by the principles of a radical unschooling life, trusting kids to do what’s right, without getting rid of chore rosters?

Images

Jess Zoerb at Unsplash