Parenting

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Unschooling, Homemaking, and a Mother’s Role

Erin wrote: What does the idea of homemaking mean to you? Is it a certain skill set or talent? Does it need to look or happen a certain way, or is it a flexible term? What role does homemaking play for you in home ed life? Do the two need to go together? Are there aspects of homemaking that you like and others that you don’t? Where do gender roles…
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Passing on Our Fears to Our Kids

How do you feel when your children try things out in public with everybody looking on? Do you admire their courage and say, “Have a go!” Or do you worry they’ll fail? When my kids were much younger, we made a last-minute decision to attend a five-day homeschool camp. When the people organising the music for the daily Masses heard we’d be there, they asked my daughter, Imogen, to play…
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Why We Should Freely Choose to Do Difficult and Unpleasant Things

Let’s be realistic: no one will freely choose to do what’s difficult and unpleasant, will they? A mother once told me this is exactly what she believed: “My kids won’t do things like chores unless I force them.” I asked how she knew that, and she replied, “Because I know myself. I’m lazy. I often avoid doing things that are not pleasant.” I understood what the woman was saying. We…
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Is It Okay if Parents Want to Influence Their Unschooling Kids?

Is it okay if we try to influence our unschooling kids? What if we’d like them to acquire particular values? Can we expose them to our beliefs? Or should we stand back and try to keep quiet about the things we base our lives on and let our kids work out everything for themselves?   Let’s say we decide it’s not right to influence our kids in any way. What…
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Why Parents Should Help with the Family Chores

When I was at school, my friend Beatrix never had to do any chores. She didn’t have to wash dishes, clean bathrooms, or sweep floors. I wonder if she had to clean her bedroom. Beatrix’s mother said that once she was grown up and had a home of her own, she’d have to do all the chores. She wouldn’t have a choice. For now, she needn’t do any.  I don’t…
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Do Unschooled Kids (and Parents) Need Time Away From Their Devices?

If we conclude that good mental, physical, and spiritual health requires silence, nature, real people, and exercise, what does this mean for our unschooling kids? Should we limit their screen time? Should we force them off their devices and make them exercise and spend time with us? Perhaps we should announce we’re having a screen-free day, and everyone must spend time hiking through the bush. Or won’t that work?  …
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The Discomfort of Letting Go and Allowing Our Kids (and Ourselves) to Grow

We organise life so we’re not challenged too much. We don’t want to stray outside our comfort zone because that could be painful. We say no instead of yes to our kids, not wanting them to go to parties at night, ride their bikes on the road, run through the bush alone, or learn to drive. We don’t want thoughts of danger to torment our minds. We don’t want to…
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What if Our Unschooled Kids Complain or Reject Everything We Hold Dear?

I took my blog offline to fix a few technical problems, but at the back of my mind was a question: Have I had enough of blogging? Maybe I should keep my blog hidden permanently from public view. Perhaps it’s time to become an ex-unschooling blogger. Contemplating retirement as a blogger is nothing new. I’ve done this a few times over the past 14 years or so. But this time,…
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Irreplaceable Unschool Dogs and Kids

People often have favourite breeds of dogs, don’t they? Maybe they love greyhounds like a couple living in a nearby town who dress their trio of thin dogs in bright-striped pyjamas to keep them warm on below-zero days. Or they might be dachshund people like a woman I recently heard about who runs with her short-legged friend tucked under her arm. People often decide to replace their dogs with one…
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How to Write a Million Unschool Love Stories

I used to think the defining word of unschooling was freedom. Freedom attracted me. I wanted to be free to do whatever I liked. I wanted to get up each day and do anything or nothing at all. But I soon realised there’s a problem with freedom. If we always do whatever we like, won’t we become self-centred? Thinking only of ourselves won’t lead to happiness because we were made…
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Reflecting Badly On Our Family

Andy and I take Nora and Quinn to the vet for their annual checkups. We wonder if our dogs are the correct weight for their size. Are their coats clean and shiny? Do they look happy and well cared for? The vet says our pets are magnificent. We swell with pride. We passed the test. Our dogs are an excellent reflection of us. But are our kids excellent reflections of…
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