Parenting

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Can You Trust Me and My Unschooling Stories?

Can you trust what I say? What if I am making things up, putting an unrealistic positive spin on my stories, implying I’m perfect and so is my family? What if I’m not a reliable voice for unschooling? Could I be falsely portraying this way of life? A reader asked me a question about socialising with families who have parenting ideas different from ours. What did I do when…
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Unschooling Isn’t Freedom Gone Wild: Why Choices Matter More Than Ideals

My husband Andy returned to work today after two weeks at home. Holiday time is over. We’ve now moved into term time. A whole term of possibility days stretches before me. I’m free to do whatever I like with my time while Andy is at school. My eyes light up with delight. But then I remember there are many things I must do that I may not want to…
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Unschooling, Attachment, and the Art of Letting Go: Building Trust Instead of Rules

We don’t make rules in our family, so how do my children know what is right and what is wrong, if they aren’t guided by clearly stated limits?  Do I believe my own quiet example of appropriate behaviour is all that is needed in order to influence my children? Perhaps I stand back, hands-off, and let my children behave as they choose? I decide to ponder a few ideas with…
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Unschooling, Homemaking, and a Mother’s Role

Erin wrote: What does the idea of homemaking mean to you? Is it a certain skill set or talent? Does it need to look or happen a certain way, or is it a flexible term? What role does homemaking play for you in home ed life? Do the two need to go together? Are there aspects of homemaking that you like and others that you don’t? Where do gender roles…
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Passing on Our Fears to Our Kids

How do you feel when your children try things out in public with everybody looking on? Do you admire their courage and say, “Have a go!” Or do you worry they’ll fail? When my kids were much younger, we made a last-minute decision to attend a five-day homeschool camp. When the people organising the music for the daily Masses heard we’d be there, they asked my daughter, Imogen, to play…
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Why We Should Freely Choose to Do Difficult and Unpleasant Things

Let’s be realistic: no one will freely choose to do what’s difficult and unpleasant, will they? A mother once told me this is exactly what she believed: “My kids won’t do things like chores unless I force them.” I asked how she knew that, and she replied, “Because I know myself. I’m lazy. I often avoid doing things that are not pleasant.” I understood what the woman was saying. We…
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Is It Okay if Parents Want to Influence Their Unschooling Kids?

Is it okay if we try to influence our unschooling kids? What if we’d like them to acquire particular values? Can we expose them to our beliefs? Or should we stand back and try to keep quiet about the things we base our lives on and let our kids work out everything for themselves? Let’s say we decide it’s not right to influence our kids in any way. What…
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Why Parents Should Help with the Family Chores

When I was at school, my friend Beatrix never had to do any chores. She didn’t have to wash dishes, clean bathrooms, or sweep floors. I wonder if she had to clean her bedroom. Beatrix’s mother said that once she was grown up and had a home of her own, she’d have to do all the chores. She wouldn’t have a choice. For now, she needn’t do any.  I don’t…
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Do Unschooled Kids (and Parents) Need Time Away From Their Devices?

If we conclude that good mental, physical, and spiritual health requires silence, nature, real people, and exercise, what does this mean for our unschooling kids? Should we limit their screen time? Should we force them off their devices and make them exercise and spend time with us? Perhaps we should announce we’re having a screen-free day, and everyone must spend time hiking through the bush. Or won’t that work? …
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The Discomfort of Letting Go and Allowing Our Kids (and Ourselves) to Grow

We organise life so we’re not challenged too much. We don’t want to stray outside our comfort zone because that could be painful. We say no instead of yes to our kids, not wanting them to go to parties at night, ride their bikes on the road, run through the bush alone, or learn to drive. We don’t want thoughts of danger to torment our minds. We don’t want to…
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What if Our Unschooled Kids Complain or Reject Everything We Hold Dear?

I took my blog offline to fix a few technical problems, but at the back of my mind was a question: Have I had enough of blogging? Maybe I should keep my blog hidden permanently from public view. Perhaps it’s time to become an ex-unschooling blogger. Contemplating retirement as a blogger is nothing new. I’ve done this a few times over the past 14 years or so. But this time,…
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