Facing the Fact We Are an Introverted Family


“We’re a family of introverts,” I tell my daughters.

“Of course we are, Mum!” replies Imogen. “Have you only just realised that?”

“Well, I’ve never really thought about it before.”

A family of introverts? I probably suspected this, but I’ve been trying to bury the thought away at the back of my mind, not wanting to face it.

Why is it so bad to be an introvert? Maybe it’s not. But the world seems to love extroverts. They seem to have a smoother pathway through life. And sometimes I feel I’ve failed my children by not encouraging them to be more outwardly focused.

We’ve all heard: “You’re homeschoolers? But what about socialisation?”

Years ago, my husband Andy and I used to make a lot of effort to be very sociable. We’d take our children along to every gathering possible so they could interact with other people. “You have to make an effort for your children’s sake,” we were told. So we did, even though usually we felt more inclined to stay home.

My eldest son could be described as very introverted. When I took him to a medical appointment many years ago when he was about 10 or 11, the doctor looked very concerned and said, “He is painfully shy.”

I was sure my son was reserved rather than shy. But the doctor’s words still made me feel guilty. What was I doing wrong? Should we have sent him to school?

I spoke to someone about this ‘problem’. “Duncan has so many wonderful qualities he wouldn’t have if he were more extroverted,” I said. I went on to describe his creativity, his sensitive nature, his prayerfulness…

“None of those matter at his age. You should make him join in with whatever the other boys of his age are doing. He needs to work on his social skills.”

So I told Duncan it might be a good idea if he put aside his books and inventions and imagination, and focus on being one of the group. Perhaps he could get out there on the soccer field, join in with conversations, hang around with the boys… Duncan was eager to please me and ran off to do exactly what I’d suggested. 

But my son’s willingness to try and change almost broke my heart. My resolution to make him more extroverted didn’t last long. I decided to let him be who he is. I pushed the problem to the back of my mind and just hoped everything would turn out well. I also hoped our other children would turn out to be ‘normal’, that I’d have more success with them.

Well, it seems I failed. I have just faced up to the fact our whole family is introverted.

Failed?

“Is it bad being an introvert?” I ask my girls.

“Oh no!” they assure me. “We love being who we are.” I must admit I love being who I am too.

“Do you remember when we used to join in with all the picnics and camps and other gatherings? We haven’t been anywhere for a long time,” I say.

“We don’t mind. We like staying home,” says Imogen. “We have so much we want to do here.”
“It’s nice seeing people but only in small doses.”

I know what the girls mean. Some people go out to relax and unwind. We stay home to recharge. One social outing lasts us weeks. It satisfies our need for company for a long time.

I think back to that doctor’s words: “Painfully shy…”

My children are certainly not shy. All my singers are quite happy standing up in front of hundreds of people and performing solo. I’m not, but I can’t sing. Instead I enjoy public speaking. Andy and Duncan come alive when they are teaching a classroom of students.

All my children have good social skills. They participate in conversations. They are confident and capable. But they are small group people. They aren’t interested in being one of a crowd, engaging in small talk. I’m not either. In fact, crowds make me panic.

Do you ever arrange a social outing and then when the time arrives to go out, you feel sick in the stomach, not wanting to go? I do that all the time. Or perhaps someone says, “We meet together twice a month. We’d love you to join us.” I agree and then when the time comes, I wish I hadn’t been so quick to accept the invitation. What’s wrong with me? Aren’t we on our way out to see people we like very much? Am I just being lazy? Or perhaps I’m self-centred, preferring my own company to that of other people? Should I make more effort? I have been battling with this for a while.

But could there actually be nothing wrong with me at all. That’s just the way I am. I could accept that, just like I accept my children. Yes, I have given up trying to make my children more extroverted. 

“Most writers are introverts, Mum,” says Imogen. “If we were rushing all over the place we wouldn’t have time to think.”

Yes, there are many positive aspects to being introverted.

“We’re content and happy just staying home. We always find lots to do. We don’t need entertaining.”

“We’re more inclined to get involved with our passions.”

“We’re a close family. We spend lots of time with each other. We’re not all racing off in separate directions. We’re quite happy to rely on each other for company.”

“Anyway, when there’s no one else around, we can be silly and have fun without worrying what people think. We can be us.”

So at last I am facing the ‘problem’ we are an introverted family. Problem?  I no longer think we have one. We’re just us. We’re not normal. We’re certainly weird. But we’re okay. We don’t all have to be the same, do we? There’s a place for everyone out there. Even us.

Image: Would you rather stay home and read?

Attribution: cat reading by raider of gin, (CC BY 2.0)


This story was inspired by my friend Emmie’s recent post Learning to Honor Myself (the Birthday Post). 

Emmie recommended the TED talk, Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts


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Comments

  1. Reply

    I love this post! In fact, I could have written it. The quiz told me what I already knew – I'm an introvert big time!
    However, though we do keep to ourselves a lot as a family and prefer our own company the 3 girls are very outgoing and love people. A good solution for us has been to get involved in a Catholic homeschool group that meets fortnightly. Even our introverted boy has made friends and enjoys going now. So, although I don't feel that I need the company it is very beneficial for the children and has become a positive.
    I used to wonder why other people seemed to make friends so easily but for me it just doesn't happen. I've realised that my definition of a friend is quite different to many others who surround themselves with people and call them friends. To me, they are just acquaintances. I'm happy to not feel like I need friends and I certainly am not interested in superficial friends.
    There is so much more I could say on this topic, but I'll just say it's so nice to know there are other people who are like me!

    1. Reply

      Kelly,

      Oh yes, homeschooling groups are a great way of providing opportunities for children to make friends. We used to belong to one for many years. I sometimes do feel guilty we don't make the effort to go to regular meetings anymore, but the girls assure me they don't want to go anyway. "But what about friends?" I ask. "We have friends!" they tell me. This is very true. We just don't see them every day. They also have friends in their choirs and the parish and, of course, online. Gemma-Rose was quick to say, "I have lots of pen friends like Gemma!"

      I've spent some of this evening reading Susan Cain's book. So far it is very interesting.

      "I'll just say it's so nice to know there are other people who are like me!" I agree! Perhaps you could write your own post on this subject. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!

    • amy
    • December 30, 2013
    Reply

    Love this. We are too. Totally. Though I think I might have one extroverted girl and I keep wondering, what on earth are we going to do with her?!

    1. Reply

      Amy,

      I've been reading about people who try to appear extroverted, a bit of an act. I guess I do that at times. Or I try to make myself extroverted by making an effort to be more sociable. It's good though to know there are others who consider themselves introverts. Perhaps it's okay to be who we are, We don't have to change.

      One extroverted girl? Now that could be very interesting!

    • Dawn
    • December 30, 2013
    Reply

    I also could have written this! Especially the part about arranging to do things, feeling sick to your stomach, and wanting to back out. That is me to a "T'! It is not so hard for me to accept myself when I am with my kids, because they are all introverts to some degree as well. However, my hubby is an extreme extrovert. He can't understand my need to just be home and my uncomfortableness in social situations. That makes it hard. 🙁

    1. Reply

      Dawn,

      My husband is a school teacher. He spends a lot of time with people and is known for his humour and his willingness to get involved and his helpfulness. But each night he retreats back home to recharge. I've done a lot of complaining about how I don't see as many people as my husband. (Andy has no time or inclination for a social life because of his hectic school days.) But if I'm truthful, I don't really want to go out and be sociable. Really what I want is more of my husband's company. (I quite often complain about the wrong things!) I know if I were suddenly plunged into an active social life I'd be very uncomfortable. Like you, I like being at home. I'll have to be careful about what I complain about!

      I would say both my husband and I are introverts but it is still difficult finding a balance that suits both of us. Do you end up pushing yourself to be more social in order to keep up with your husband? Pushing myself… That's something I often think about. Is that the loving thing to do or is it okay to accommodate my own needs? I just don't know!

      Thank you so much for stopping by!

  2. Reply

    I love reading about this from a home school perspective. My 15 year old is even more introverted than I am(if that's possible) and it has been a really fine line knowing when to encourage more participation in 4H and our co-op and when just to let it go. Thanks for these great thoughts!

    1. Reply

      Emmie,

      I pushed my eldest son to join in with many things because I thought it would be good for him. I 'made' him go along to St John Ambulance meetings with my other children, hoping it would make him more outgoing. He endured this for several years. I don't know if it helped. He is still very introverted. The experience made no difference to his personality but I guess it made me feel better. I was doing something to help with what I perceived to be a problem. It is hard looking back on our children's childhoods and wondering if we could have done things better, helped them with particular problems they have, or perhaps accepted our kids just as they are.

      Emmie, I have enjoyed thinking about this topic. Of course it was your interesting post that started me thinking. Thank you!

    • Becca
    • December 30, 2013
    Reply

    I love this! We're 4 introverts with one extreme extrovert, and it certainly makes life interesting. I find myself not wanting to go to things, too; so lovely to hear someone else sets things up and then questions going.

    1. Reply

      Becca,

      It would be difficult, I imagine, being the only extrovert amongst a family of introverts. Sometimes I think we could do with someone to stir us up and prevent us from getting too set in our stay-at-home ways. Do you find it hard keeping up with your extrovert?

      I am so glad to hear I am not the only person who changes her mind about going out when the time arrives! I wish I was better at saying no at the right time. It just doesn't sound very polite being honest and saying something like, "I'm sorry but I'd rather stay safely at home and read my book (or write) rather than visit you"!! Most times I do enjoy myself once I get wherever we're going. It just takes a lot of effort to actually get ready and leave home.

      I've enjoyed swapping comments. Thank you for stopping by!

    2. Reply

      Becca,

      We love the internet too. For us it's a safe way to socialise. We can chat to kindred spirits who aren't very likely to drop in unexpectedly and stress us out!

      "I don't wanna!" Oh yes! I say that. Actually I have just realised I am more likely to get upset and argue with my family on a day when we are supposed to be going out. I end up saying, "You can all go without me!" They assure me it wouldn't be the same if I stayed home. In the end I always go but wonder if the stress is worth it. By the time we get home though, we've all forgotten our earlier difficulties. We're usually united in our thoughts… "We had a good time but we're glad to be home!"

    3. Reply

      We've had to do a lot of educating so all of us understand the needs of the others. One thing that really helps our extrovert is the internet; he can get online and talk with friends while the rest of us read books and do our own quiet things.

      I usually enjoy myself, too, once I go, but so often all day I'm like "I don't wanna!"

    4. Reply

      "I don't wanna!" lol! I can SO relate to that! I never want to go to social gatherings but when I do, I end up having a great time socializing but I have to come home and completely recharge by having some alone time.

    5. Reply

      Elizabeth,

      We are introverted kindred spirits! Lovely to know you understand just how I feel.

  3. Sue, this is great! It completely describes me. For me, the bigger the group, the quieter I become. I can so relate to your words, “It’s nice seeing people but only in small doses.” I do well when I am around other creative minds and we have a session of creating something together such as when I am around one of my cousins. As a child we could spend hours writing a mystery story together or she would play frightful music on the piano while I narrated a scary story. I found that so rejuvenating. But in general when I am around others, although I love my friends who are not creative, I feel drained afterwards. The conversation we had seems to disturb my peace of mind and then it takes me at least a week to recuperate. During that time I find it hard to get back to writing or creating. I'm a mess for a while.

    I suspect you have a house full of gifted people judging from the stories you post. This morning I was reading a book online (through Google), The Social and Emotional Lives of Gifted Kids: Understanding and Guiding Their Development by Tracy L. Cross . It talks about how gifted children do not need to involved in social experiences that they have no interest in.

    1. Reply

      Monica,

      Yes, I like socialising with certain people in certain situations too. I'd love to sit round a table talking about writing or something similar with a friend. (I don't know anyone locally who loves to write.) I do like small dinner parties where we can have deep conversations. Then I come home with my mind buzzing with ideas. As you said, this can be rejuvenating. But big groups… after a while I just want to go home. I look around the room and it's easy to catch the eye of my husband and children. I know they feel the same way.

      Thank you so much for the book recommendation, Monica. I found the book on Google, but I decided to order a second-hand copy. Although I have never thought about the possibility of my children being gifted (they are just who they are) I am intrigued to find out more after you mentioned the connection of giftedness with social experiences. I am sure I shall enjoy the book!

      Creative minds… I've also been thinking about how creativity needs lots of alone time, but how good it is to share our creations too. Maybe when we are passionate about something it is easier to overcome our tendencies to focus inwardly. We can come together with others and share ideas and even work together.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

  4. I love that introversion is coming out of the closet. It took me until my 40's to realise I'm an introvert, which is a bit shocking considering that I used to give my clients questionnaires designed to tell me if they were extrovert or introvert when I was working as a therapist – so great was my desire to fit into an extroverted world!

    I've been happier than ever since I began to embrace my introversion. It also helps family life go more smoothly to recognise that while my son is a fellow introvert, my daughter is an out-and-out extrovert. Luckily she is very good at arranging her own social life!

    Susan Cain has done a wonderful job of bringing introversion into the limelight. The book that made the difference for me was Laurie Helgoe's "Introvert Power" (Susan Cain's book wasn't out then). Finally I could stop feeling guilty about cringing when the phone rang and disliking smalltalk!

    Blogging is introvert heaven – we get to connect with kindred spirits in our own time, from the comfort of our own homes, about what really matters to us!

    Thank you for another thought-provoking post, Sue!

    (Now, I just need to find a book that allows me to let go of my guilt at using so many exclamation marks. Susan Cain once posted about it I think … something about powerless communicators having more empathy … I'll hang onto that excuse for now.)

    1. Reply

      Lucinda,

      Oh it is so easy to deceive ourselves about who we are, isn't it? We try hard to be who we think we should be when really there's nothing wrong with the way we genuinely are. "I love that introversion is coming out of the closet." That's a great sentence!

      You cringe when the phone rings too? I can relate to that! And small talk… I was so relieved when we passed the stage of discussing nappies and such things. I guess it was a bit like discussing the weather! Very tedious and predictable.

      I have made a note of Laurie Helgoe's book. When I finish Susan Cain's I might read that too. The word the two book titles have in common is 'power', which is rather fascinating as we tend to think of pushy extroverts as being the powerful people.

      "Blogging is introvert heaven" It certainly is! I get to chat to people and make friends on my own terms. As I remarked to one of my girls the other day, "When I feel overwhelmed by my online social life, I can just make it disappear by turning off my computer." Such power! At regular intervals I get the feeling I want to delete all my blogs. Thinking in terms of being an introvert, I think this is just a sign I've had enough socialisation for a while. I just want to roll up my life and family and retreat somewhere private for a time. Usually after ignoring the computer for a time, I recharge and want to continue blogging. Knowing this will happen has helped me not to delete my blogs instantly every time that feeling descends.

      Exclamation marks? Oh I am addicted to those as well. Every time I write a comment, I need to go back and eliminate half of them!!! There's a few to end with!

      I do love chatting with you Lucinda. Thank you for the stimulating conversation!

    • Hwee
    • December 31, 2013
    Reply

    Oh yes, my husband and I are definitely introverts. Our son is much more keen on going out and meeting people so I try to participate in social gatherings more for his sake. Luckily he is equally happy in his own company so I'd say I'm very glad he is a well balanced child. 🙂

    1. Reply

      Hwee,

      If our children were keen on going out I suppose I would make the effort to socialise more too. I had a hard time deciding whether my children just want to stay at home because they are used to doing so. Perhaps they'd enjoy meeting more people if they had the opportunity. But then I observed them at a number of gatherings and I am confident they really do like to socialise only in small doses.

      It sounds like your son is indeed well balanced. Maybe he is in the middle of the introvert/ extrovert scale, the best of both worlds.

      So lovely to see your comment. Thank you!

  5. Reply

    Have you read the book Quiet? I LOVED it!! It's all about introverts. In a good way! We're mostly introverts over here, too. 🙂

    1. Reply

      Laurie,

      I am reading Quiet at the moment! After your comment, I can't wait to read more. I liked the story in the first chapter where Susan Cain showed her quiet but powerful way of interacting with extroverts.

      It seems to me that many people misunderstand the definition of an introvert, thinking it is something negative, perhaps a synonym for the word 'shy', which is a trait most people feel they have to overcome.

      It's nice to know there are more introverts around. I suspect the blogging world is full of them!

      Thank you so much for stopping by. I appreciate your comment.

  6. Reply

    How about an extrovert who loves to stay home? I was always outgoing in my younger years. I found though, that when I didn't want to be home, it was often because something at home was amiss.

    I also realized that what we are hopefully impressing upon our children is that family is what we were created for and that all else is secondary. Everything outside of home is here to serve the family. So, giving them all of the practice, living and loving in a family is what they need to know anyway. And, by the way, that is hard work sometimes ~ at least for us. Differing personalities, sexes and ages are very good learning tools for life.

    My second oldest sometimes says that he feels lonely, but not lonely enough to hang with just anyone. He'd rather stay home.

    I am an introvert now because I have learned what really matters. And I like it.

    1. Reply

      Michelle,

      I always think of home as a safe refuge. I want it to be a place where we can all retreat from the world and recharge together. Yes, all the members of our family are different and it can be a challenge getting on with each other at times. Perhaps accepting each other regardless of the differences helps. We can be who we really are at home. It's a place where we don't have to pretend.

      "family is what we were created for and that all else is secondary." I do like this thought! Because we homeschool our lives naturally centre around our home and family. It must be so much more difficult for those families who are separated each day by work and school commitments, sport at the weekend, individual social activities…

      I like my life at home too!

  7. Reply

    Happy new year! We watched the Sydney fireworks last night on You Tube – it must be fun to have a warm New Year's! OTH, I'm pretty introverted, too, and I'm just as happy to skip the crowds… 🙂 Blogging is just perfect!

    I've always been an introvert, and some of my kids aren't, or at least, not so much. I have to push myself to set up social stuff to make sure everyone has what they need. For me it's like cooking, I try to remember to make things I don't like from time to time, in case some one else likes them. Sure enough, all 6 kids LOVE lima beans. How did that happen?! I think God has a sense of humor!

    1. Reply

      Wendy,

      Happy New Year to you too! You saw more of the Sydney fireworks than we did. Years and years ago (pre-children) Andy and I went to Sydney to watch the fireworks but I hated the crowds. There were so many people waiting for public transport afterwards. It took us a long time to get home. Not a good outing for introverts!

      Oh I do like your cooking analogy. In our family we all seem to have similar tastes which is rather fortunate, though sometimes I wonder if my children have adopted my ways because that's what they're used to. Perhaps we are all lazy. We'd all much rather stay home and blog rather than make the effort to go out and socialise! Yes, blogging is perfect!

  8. Reply

    I am pretty introverted myself and I am fine with it, but I have a son who is extremely introverted and he is NOT well adjusted. In fact it is really inhibiting his maturity. I wish someone somewhere would tell me how to help him! How does one draw the line between healthfully introverted and hiding from the world?

    1. Reply

      Faith,

      My very introverted son studied his Bachelor of Arts degree through an online course. When it came to doing his Masters I encouraged him to go on-campus because I thought the experience would be good for him. I was hoping he'd make friends and expand his world. Well, he has coped very well with the university experience but it hasn't changed him. He still hasn't made any real friends. It was good to find out though he can cope with the bigger world if he has to.

      But maybe there is something more than introversion which is keeping your son at home. I am thinking about my eldest daughter Felicity. She has told me and written about the times when she can't leave the house and face people. She has bipolar disorder. Also when I was grieving, I couldn't face anyone. I'd leave the house and want to return straight away. I'm not saying your son has bipolar or is grieving, but maybe other circumstances are preventing him from facing the outside world other than introversion?

      Sometimes I wonder if my children will find their place in the world. Could I be doing more to help certain children? Some seem to be 'easier' than others. I try to trust God has a plan for everyone. I hope your son finds his place too.

  9. Reply

    Nice post! I think you are just natural, yourself. Home is best for me too. Home sweet home! I think it is normal that way. Meetings can be enriching but can also just be a waste of time. If people feel close to their family members, that is good! I think kids tend to suffer in school because they just don't always "feel at home" with the group they are forced to be with. I must be an introvert too…:))

    1. Reply

      Bernice,

      I am coming to realise lots of my friends are introverts. Perhaps that's why we get on so well. We can chat online about things we all understand, without leaving home.

      "Meetings can be enriching but can also be a waste of time.".. Yes, we've been to both kinds. It doesn't seem to make any sense going to those that no one benefits from.

      Oh I have some bad memories of socialisation and school! I am so glad my children haven't had to face similar experiences. A non-homeschooling friend once told me that my kids needed to go to school in order to learn to get on with people in the world. I don't think I learnt anything useful from those painful school situations I was forced to endure.

      Aren't we so very fortunate being able to stay home with our children?

  10. Reply

    I loved this post and I could've written it myself. i discovered this year that I was an introvert after reading Susan Cain's book. And I'm torn about the label. i mean on the one hand, it explains SO much about why I do the things I do like my need for a long, hot bath most nights while listening to pandora music. I crave that time and I've done it for many years feeling guilty, like I should've been spending that time being productive behind a sewing machine. But it's my daily recharge time. It's helped me to understand why I'm happy when over-night company comes over but after a few hours, I need to retreat to my bedroom and have some alone time. If I don't get that alone time, I get very solemn and pensive, like I'm retreating into my own head. And unfortunately, my introversion has rubbed people the wrong way because of my reserve. They get offended that I don't open up to them or I go and have some alone time.
    On the other hand, I do sometimes wish I was an extrovert . Sometimes I wish I had more friends or was more funny and gregarious but that's usually when I've been reading too many blogs by extroverts. :-).
    I loved when Cain talked about introverts and evangelical churches. I found myself thanking God for the great gift He gave us in Mother Church. I mean, the Mass is very welcoming to introverts, I think. And I just LOVE quiet adoration in the chapel. That being said, I do wonder what the role of introverts is in the Church. We're all called to reach out to people and tell the Good News, to love others. How DO introverts contribute to that calling? Especially when we avoid phone calls. 😉

    1. Reply

      Elizabeth,

      I spent several days sewing just before Christmas, and although I enjoyed being productive (and made two girls very happy with two new dresses) I missed my 'in my head' time. It was such a relief to get back to writing which is my way of having my alone time.

      It would be interesting to know if all the online extroverts are actually extroverted in real life. I find it easy to be outgoing and friendly online. I am at home where I like to be, and when I get overwhelmed by too much social contact, I just turn everyone off! I don't have to hang about to finish conversations or I can reply at my leisure. There's not the same pressure as in real life situations.

      I am sure you are very special just the way you are and there is no need to change. I can imagine you as a good friend who would take the time to listen. That's more important than being funny. Though maybe you are funny and just don't realise it. One of my sons comes over as very serious but if you got to know him very well, you would see he has a ridiculous sense of humour!

      I haven't finished Susan Cain's book yet. I keep meaning to do this but my free time and thoughts are being taken up with my mental illness posts at the moment. The points you made about the Church are so interesting. I am looking forward to reading this part of the book.

      I am another phone call avoider. t's just as well I have lots of children who love answering the phone otherwise it would ring and ring and ring…

  11. Reply

    I am part introvert and part extrovert. I guess it depends on the situation. I am a social butterfly in my own tiny circle of friends who are part of my "bubble". Out of my comfort zone though, I am looking for a hiding place. I'd MUCH rather stay home and read. Perhaps I'm more introverted than I thought? I just never thought of it that way.

    1. Reply

      Susan,

      I like life in my own little bubble too! Maybe introverts appear extroverted when they feel comfortable. I am still reading Susan Cain's book. I was very interested to read that many people appear extroverted when they are online. The Internet really has given introverts a way to communicate effectively and happily with the world. Apparently introverts are more inclined to share their lives online than those who are extroverted. This sounds so much like me!

      It's Saturday night. I'm not going out to socialise like many people. I'm off to bed to read a book!

  12. Reply

    Tessa,

    We don't actually live near any of our friends, and no one passes our front door unexpectedly. This suits me fine. Even though you were joking, I do understand what you were saying!

    "I'll think about it!" Oh, I'm always saying those words. I really should decline straight away. I spend lots of time worrying about how I'm going to word my refusal, and I don't want to get back on the phone and do it.

    Your life sounds perfect to me! We once ran away to a farm… no neighbours or even a telephone. I'm sure everyone thought we were mad but we didn't mind the isolation at all.

    It's interesting what you said about your house being quiet. Ours is too despite the fact we have had up to 9 people living here at one time.

    It sounds like your baby is fitting in with your introverted family perfectly!

    Thank you so much for following my link on Facebook. I have enjoyed continuing the conversation!

  13. Reply

    I so relate. My tip: move away from everyone you know and don't make new friends. Only partially kidding. It is way easier to say "I'll think about it" and then politely decline to an invitation every couple of months than to say it daily 🙂 We are a family of introverts too. I love quiet! I loved Quiet the book too. And, for having three boys (granted, one is still a baby) my house is relatively quiet. Except for now because it's nearly dinner time and someone has flipped the "crazy switch" so it's a little louder than normal. Unshooling is perfect for us. No out of the house activities (except for church) and freedom to have downtime when we need it. A very peaceful farm life.

    1. Reply

      Introverted baby "problem": My 4 month old loves to sit in his baby seat and play by himself. He'll smile at us and chat with us but, mostly, he is perfectly content to be alone. Very strange to not have to hold my baby (though I still do, obviously).

  14. Reply

    Thank you Sue. Lovely introversion. Isn't it wonderful? My family is so quiet but we all vary on the scale of introversion. However, when we are around extroverts I can feel the difference. We just had our children's doctor visits and I was wondering if the doctor would mention anything about the kids' quietness and shy ways. However, the kids did laugh a lot so maybe the doctor felt as though they were at least happy about being homeschooled and tucked away quietly at home. But many times I imagine and project onto other people what I think they might possibly be thinking about my little crew. I'm learning it doesn't really matter what others may think though. I really enjoyed watching the TED talk with Susan Cain. Those talks can be so invigorating and engaging. Thank you for sharing. All the best, Kim.

    1. Reply

      Kim,

      It's funny how outside people equate being outgoing with happiness as far as our children go. We love living a quiet life. If we all had to go out and be sociable more often I'm sure we'd feel stressed and not happy at all. It's good people like Susan Cain are writing and talking about introversion and showing the world we're not strange. There are definitely positives to being this way.

      I love watching TED talks. You are so right: There are indeed invigorating. They are a wonderful source of ideas and can confirm us in our own beliefs. I've got a few talks on my 'to watch' list. I must get around to viewing them!

      It's lovely to chat. Thank you for stopping by!

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