7 May 2014

Not Everyone Likes Me

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Not everyone likes me. Why not, I wonder? What’s wrong with me?

Am I too old? Do younger mothers not feel connected to me?
Of course, I’m not one of life’s beautiful people.
Perhaps I don’t dress as I should.
Shouldn’t I have mentioned I’m Catholic?
Does everyone know about my bad days?
Have they found out about my past mistakes? And the ones I still make?
Perhaps I’m weird. I have too many strange opinions. I talk far too much.
Whatever the reason, it’s true: Not everyone likes me. I guess that’s natural. No one likes every person they ever meet. But I still have an inner need to be liked. I want people to approve of me. So I’m going to be very careful what I tell people.
I’m going to hide my age. I’ll only post young and beautiful photos. I won’t say anything about being Catholic. I’ll keep my bad days to myself. Oh, and I certainly won’t mention my mistakes. I’ll avoid certain topics of conversation. I’ll be careful what I blog about. I won’t show you what I’m wearing. My bad habits? You’ll never know I have any. I’ll smile and be pleasant and keep slightly at a distance… just in case.
And everyone will like me. I’ll have loads of friends. I’ll be enormously popular. People will want to be just like me.
Yes, I’m going to keep pretending I’m a perfect unschooling mother (a beautiful, trendy, young one, of course).  
What’s that? It’s too late? I’ve already told you about my bad days and past mistakes? You can see I’m getting old? You’ve already worked out I’m weird?
I sigh with relief. I relax. Pretending can be such hard work.
Not everyone likes me. I guess I can live with that. It’s quite okay. 

READ  The Power and Fun of Mind Maps

Sue Elvis

I'm an Australian blogger, podcaster, and Youtuber. I write and speak about unschooling, parenting and family life. I'm also the author of the unschooling books 'Curious Unschoolers', 'Radical Unschool Love' and ‘The Unschool Challenge’. You'll find them on Amazon!

14 Comments

  1. One of the best things about getting older (for me) is I have given up on trying to get people to like me. Oh, the anxiety of my younger days, trying to be someone I'm not, wanting desperately to have some "bosom" buddies but somehow they never eventuated. Except they kind of did – in God, in my husband and my children. My bestest buddies. They all like me, and that is plenty enough 🙂

    • Kelly,

      Oh I remember the agony of being young and insecure. I so much wanted to be liked and was always replaying stupid conversations in my head wondering what people thought about me. I eventually found some best buddies too! I also found some good friends who like me as I am. They're real friends!

  2. I think it's very normal for human beings to feel the need to be liked, or at least be approved of. We are, afterall, social beings. 🙂 Nonetheless, my motto these days is: "I can't please everyone so I'll focus on those who matter to me." That makes life a little easier. Oh, it also helps that I'm getting older and getting to the point where I don't really care about being judged by others anymore. Have you ever met those very old people (70+ years old) who no longer care to be politically correct, and who feel free to speak their minds? They are such fascinating characters to be around!

    • Hwee,

      There are advantages to getting older for sure! I wouldn't want to go back in time. I'm heading forward and one day I might even be one of those older people who feel free to speak their mind. I shall embarrass my family greatly! (Except they're weird and probably won't mind what I say!)

  3. I like you!! Sorry I haven't popped by much a combination of sickness, working and trying to hold things together has kept me busy. Hope you are having a good week x

    • Oh San, you are so sweet. I like you too! I'm sorry you haven't been well and have been so busy. Sounds like you've been having a difficult time. It's so kind of you to take the time to stop and say hello. Have I ever told you how much I enjoy your comments? I am having a good week, thank you. I hope things improve for you. Take care!

  4. Well you can't please everyone, so please go on pleasing us. It's persons like you that makes blogging interesting and fun. I like you too.

    • Uglemor,

      I can't please everyone? So true! But I like you and you like me. That's good enough! I like to have fun when I'm blogging, try out a few different ideas, write about anything that comes to mind… Thank you for always sharing my posts.

  5. Yep, not everyone will like you. Not everyone will like me. It's just a thing.

    As mere human beings, we do have this need to be liked. It's only natural.

    But what I've figured out is that It's better to be yourself, to not hide anything, your age, your beliefs, or whatnot. The friends you do obtain will then like you for you, instead of the image you've built up for yourself… which may not be an accurate image.

    It's a lot more relaxing and just being yourself with these friends rather than those other people who only like what they think you are.. instead of what you actually are! 🙂

    • Helena,

      Hi! So lovely to see a comment from you. I agree with everything you said. We can't hide who we are if we want to be at peace. Anyway, why hide? The real version might be much more interesting than the pretend one!

  6. Wouldn't the world be a dull place if we were all bland and likeable to everyone? I try to remind myself of this when I get to wondering why some of the local homeschool mums don't reply to my emails suggesting dog walks or coffee!

    Perhaps, when we share who we really are, not everyone likes us – but those who do, LOVE us!

    • Lucinda,

      I like your comment very much! Oh yes, when we are real we are much more interesting. Oh I would accept your invitation to go dog walking or have coffee. That sounds wonderful! I don't have anyone here to do such things with. I am sure we'd talk and talk and have a wonderful time. It's such a pity we live half a world apart! I will just have to love who you are via the Internet. Thank you for your comment!

  7. Oh, Sue! This made me laugh! And sigh. Never doubt that you are one of the beautiful people. You are one of the most beautiful people I have met. Your love and your compassion are just lovely. You live in the freedom of the children of God, and you share that joy so freely! I also happen to think you look very nice, although surely that is the least important thing!

    I'm sorry I haven't been commenting, we are finishing our school year here, and have a lot going on, but I felt I must comment on this!

    • Wendy,

      I'm glad you laughed! I had a bit of fun with this post, though the subject matter really is quite serious. I think most of us have at one time or another worried about being liked and approved of.

      You are such a beautiful person yourself, Wendy. Your words of encouragement are really appreciated. Thank you very much! I shall smile for the rest of the day.

      Not commenting? No problem! Anyway, it's me who should apologise. I haven't stopped by your blog as often as I'd like recently either. We're not busy finishing up the school year like you, so I must be busy doing other things. It is always wonderful to chat with you! God bless!

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