Letting Go of Control
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The Difference Between Radical Unschooling and Unparenting
Someone says, “Radical unschooling is an irresponsible way of life. I know a family of radical unschoolers. Their kids are wild and out of control.” And someone else replies, “Are you sure that family is radically unschooling? To me, they…
When You’re Tempted to Leave Unschooling and Try Something Else
Every evening of our recent holiday, Imogen and I swished through the warm waves as we walked along the beach, waiting for the sun to set. One evening, I noticed a group of birds on the sand. At first glance…
Babies, Toddlers and Unschooling (Part 3)
Our 8th child, Gemma-Rose was our most needy baby of all. Unfortunately, she had silent reflux and was in pain for the first few months of her life. She screamed whenever she was awake, and never slept deeply, waking constantly…
Sibling Rivalry: An Unschooling Interview
Sometimes people ask me if my children get on with each other. Have I ever had to deal with sibling rivalry? I think back through the years, and it wouldn’t be true to say my kids have never argued with…
Is Our Unschooling Life Rich Enough?
Some unschooling families seem to live very adventurous lives that make ours look rather ordinary. And I wonder: Is our life rich enough for our children? Are they getting all the opportunities they need to learn so that they grow into the kind of people who will change the world for the better? Perhaps it’s time for us to live differently. We could buy a farm, grow our own organic vegetables, have alpacas, spin wool, weave our own cloth, live…
Junk Food and Poor Hygiene: Is Radical Unschooling Wrong?
Have you heard the stories? The ones about the radically unschooled kids who refuse to eat healthy food and never brush their teeth? Perhaps these stories make you wonder if there’s actually something wrong with radical unschooling. How can parents stand by and watch their child fill up on junk food and let her teeth decay? Surely influencing a child to do certain things is the right thing to do? Not so long ago, I read a story about a…
Reluctant Spouse: Unschool Bits and Pieces
Reluctant Spouse What does my husband Andy think of unschooling? Was he always in favour of it? Or did I have to convince him that unschooling is the right thing to do? Parents frequently ask me these questions especially when their spouses or partners don’t like the idea of unschooling. So was Andy always supportive of unschooling? Yes, but he didn’t realise we were unschooling. I didn’t either. We lived this way of life for a long time before it…
Unschoolers Talk About Freedom to Choose
“If children are given the freedom to do whatever they want, will they choose to do nothing at all?” I ask my daughters. Sophie smiles and says, “It’s not possible to do nothing.” “But I’ve heard parents say to their kids, ‘You’ve done nothing today!’” I insist. Imogen joins the conversation: “Perhaps parents don’t value whatever the child has been doing. To them, it’s ‘nothing’. It doesn’t count.” I ask my girls what they choose to do with their time.…
Is it Really Okay if Kids Play All Day?
Parents value play when children are very young. At this stage of life, we all agree that children should be playing. But what about when they get older? Should they still be allowed to play as much as they would like? When children reach an age when they could go to school, play is often pushed to one side. It no longer holds the centre position in children’s lives. It’s now time for more serious things like learning about maths and…
Parent and Friend: Unschool Bits and Pieces
Parent and Friend A lot of people say our kids need us to be their parent and not their friend. “There’ll be plenty of time to be friends when they are grown up.” But why waste all those years when we could have been friends? My teenage daughter Sophie says if we want to be good friends with our older children, we have to start when they are young. “Parents can’t just turn around and say, ‘Now you’re an adult,…
Unschoolers Earning Money, Following Passions
How can unschooling kids keep following their passions once they get to an age where they need to earn money to support themselves? Some unschoolers step straight into a career based on their interests Some might decide to get a job in a completely different field and continue following their interests in their spare time Others will find a job that will earn them money while they keep working on their passions. They hope that eventually, they can give up…
What if Unschoolers Don’t Know How to Write Essays?
What if unschoolers don’t know how to write essays? Will they be at a disadvantage if they want to go to university? This post follows on from How an Unschooler Learns to Write. My daughter Imogen taught herself to write. After learning the basics, she read widely, observing the example of good authors. She experimented with different styles and techniques. She wrote and wrote and wrote. I wasn’t surprised when Imogen announced she wanted to study writing at tertiary level.…
What if Our Unschooled Kids Complain or Reject Everything We Hold Dear?
I took my blog offline to fix a few technical problems, but at the back of my mind was a question: Have I had…
Is it Really Okay to Give Unschooling Kids Unlimited Access to Screens and the Internet?
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Memories of an Inexperienced Mother
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Unschooling Is Carried by Conversations
Dinner tables, car rides, bedtime chats, and café corners are the real places where unschooling lives and grows. Conversations—often unscheduled, informal, and unplanned—can become the central structure of a learning life. Gathering at the Dinner Table In our house, we never met for breakfast or lunch. Those were meals where people ate what, where and when they liked. But we…
Unschooling: Trust, Autonomy, and The Realities of Learning
The Ladies are Fixing the World again! Cecilie, Sandra and I are discussing the words ‘self-regulation’ and ‘limits’. When we say, “I’ve let go of control, and now I’m waiting for my child to learn how to regulate his time playing video games (for example),” do we have expectations about what that regulation should look like? Do we want…
How Unschoolers Can Deal with Questions and Sceptics
My mother-in-law visited us for the birth of our son, Thomas. After he died and we’d buried him in his tiny white casket, Andy’s mother asked me if we wanted more children. As I replied, “Oh, yes!”, my mother-in-law’s face dropped into a disapproving frown. “She thinks we already have enough kids,” I thought as my defence hackles rose. But…
How to Write a Million Unschool Love Stories
I used to think the defining word of unschooling was freedom. Freedom attracted me. I wanted to be free to do whatever I liked. I wanted to get up each day and do anything or nothing at all. But I soon realised there’s a problem with freedom. If we always do whatever we like, won’t we become self-centred? Thinking only…
Is It Okay if Parents Want to Influence Their Unschooling Kids?
Is it okay if we try to influence our unschooling kids? What if we’d like them to acquire particular values? Can we expose them to our beliefs? Or should we stand back and try to keep quiet about the things we base our lives on and let our kids work out everything for themselves? Let’s say we decide it’s…