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Reluctant Spouse: Unschool Bits and Pieces

Reluctant Spouse What does my husband Andy think of unschooling? Was he always in favour of it? Or did I have to convince him that unschooling is the right thing to do? Parents frequently ask me these questions especially when their spouses or partners don’t like the idea of unschooling. So was Andy always supportive of unschooling? Yes, but he didn’t realise we were unschooling. I didn’t either. We lived this way of life for a long time before it…

Unschoolers Talk About Freedom to Choose

“If children are given the freedom to do whatever they want, will they choose to do nothing at all?” I ask my daughters. Sophie smiles and says, “It’s not possible to do nothing.” “But I’ve heard parents say to their kids, ‘You’ve done nothing today!’” I insist. Imogen joins the conversation: “Perhaps parents don’t value whatever the child has been doing. To them, it’s ‘nothing’. It doesn’t count.” I ask my girls what they choose to do with their time.…

Is it Really Okay if Kids Play All Day?

Parents value play when children are very young. At this stage of life, we all agree that children should be playing. But what about when they get older? Should they still be allowed to play as much as they would like? When children reach an age when they could go to school, play is often pushed to one side. It no longer holds the centre position in children’s lives. It’s now time for more serious things like learning about maths and…

Parent and Friend: Unschool Bits and Pieces

Parent and Friend A lot of people say our kids need us to be their parent and not their friend. “There’ll be plenty of time to be friends when they are grown up.” But why waste all those years when we could have been friends? My teenage daughter Sophie says if we want to be good friends with our older children, we have to start when they are young. “Parents can’t just turn around and say, ‘Now you’re an adult,…

Unschoolers Earning Money, Following Passions

How can unschooling kids keep following their passions once they get to an age where they need to earn money to support themselves? Some unschoolers step straight into a career based on their interests Some might decide to get a job in a completely different field and continue following their interests in their spare time Others will find a job that will earn them money while they keep working on their passions. They hope that eventually, they can give up…

What if Unschoolers Don’t Know How to Write Essays?

What if unschoolers don’t know how to write essays? Will they be at a disadvantage if they want to go to university? This post follows on from How an Unschooler Learns to Write. My daughter Imogen taught herself to write. After learning the basics, she read widely, observing the example of good authors. She experimented with different styles and techniques. She wrote and wrote and wrote. I wasn’t surprised when Imogen announced she wanted to study writing at tertiary level.…

How an Unschooler Learns to Write

My daughter Imogen loves writing. It’s part of who she is. “When did you start writing?” I ask. “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t writing.” My fourth child was writing stories long before she knew how to form letters into words. “Do you remember how Charlotte and I would sit side by side at the kitchen table and draw our stories?” says Imogen. “We’d chat about what was happening in the story and then draw it. Then we’d chat…

Adding Joy: Unschool Bits and Pieces

Adding Joy to an Unschooling Day Not so long ago, a mother told me she only arranges special outings for ice cream or coffee or lunch with her kids as a reward. They can earn special time with her by working hard at their school work. I feel sad that the special moments of life seem to be rationed out. (And learning is done for rewards and not out of love.) Maybe some people think that I’m spoiling my kids…
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My Unschooling Books

Parents and Kids

The Ladies Fixing the World

Unschooling Is Carried by Conversations

Dinner tables, car rides, bedtime chats, and café corners are the real places where unschooling lives and grows. Conversations—often unscheduled, informal, and unplanned—can become the central structure of a learning life. Gathering at the Dinner Table In our house, we never met for breakfast or lunch. Those were meals where people ate what, where and when they liked. But we…

Unschooling: How Do We Know They’re Learning?

There are loads of unschooling questions we could ask about learning: How do we know unschooling kids are learning? Should they be learning particular things? Is there knowledge that all kids need? Are our unschooled kids learning enough? Can they get behind? Should we just trust our kids are learning? But what if we have doubts? Or what if we…

Unschooling: Trust, Autonomy, and The Realities of Learning

The Ladies are Fixing the World again! Cecilie, Sandra and I are discussing the words ‘self-regulation’ and ‘limits’. When we say, “I’ve let go of control, and now I’m waiting for my child to learn how to regulate his time playing video games (for example),” do we have expectations about what that regulation should look like? Do we want…

Christian unschooling

Christian Unschooling: Letting God into Our Kids’ Lives

I used to tick off my spiritual boxes religiously every day. I said a lot of prayers and read my Bible. And I got extra ticks whenever I was able to get to daily Mass, so I made the effort to get there as often as life allowed. It wasn’t easy doing all that, but I did it. I had…
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