Saying No and Other Things

I wonder why we get so afraid of saying yes to our kids. Perhaps we think they will get spoilt if we respond to their requests in a positive way too often. Perhaps they won’t appreciate the special things of life. We’d better ration them out.

Every evening for the last couple of weeks, my youngest daughter Gemma-Rose has asked if she can play a computer game after dinner.

“Do you think I should let you rot your brain with more computer games?” I ask.

“Oh yes!” she grins.

Of course, I always say yes. I don’t really know why Gemma-Rose bothers asking me. “Why do you ask me when you already know my answer?” I say, and she replies, “It’s the polite thing to do.”

So Gemma-Rose plays computer games after dinner. One day she might decide to do something else. And even if she doesn’t, her brain isn’t in any danger. That’s just our joke. She knows I’ll say yes when other people might count the number of computer hours consumed and then say no.

So I say yes. I say it a lot. But I’m also saying no. But not to my kids. I’m saying it to other people.

Sometimes we put other people’s expectations ahead of the needs of our family. Often it happens because we don’t want to offend people. How do we say no politely? Often, we cave in and say yes and then we have to deal with the consequences.

In this week’s podcast, I talk about saying no.

Also in episode 89, I talk about:

  • Adding joy to a powerless afternoon
  • Why sometimes it’s good to leave our cameras at home when we go out
  • Social media again
  • Deciding whether our work is good or not
  • Allergic cats and daughters
  • A delicious gluten-free, sugar-free and dairy-free chocolate tart
  • Our unique back-to-school supplies
  • Buying what our kids need to further their passions
  • Unschoolers and planning
  • Listening to Jane Austen
  • Redwork embroidery
  • Shakespeare

Show Notes

Healthy Eating

I Quit Sugar website

Chocolate Tart (We don’t add rosewater in our version.) There are other variations of this tart on the website.

The Australian Women’s Weekly Healthy Family Favourites Cookbook



Prismacolors beginner basic techniques

MaskdJ: art tutorial Youtube channel


Sew Easy: blog post

Secret Garden Hummingbirds – Project Index


The Hollow Crown DVD

Jane Austen

Emma DVD

Audio Books


Elizabeth Klett

Deep Work

Book by Cal Newport: Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World

Podcast Music

Twombly by Podington Bear(CC BY-NC 3.0)

Images: I spoke about an unexpected rainy day picnic in this week’s episode. I didn’t have a camera with me so I couldn’t take any photos. These images are of another rainy day picnic we went on a few weeks ago. My son Callum was home for a few days so we went on an outing and didn’t worry about the wet conditions.

Do you ever have rainy day picnics? Do you enjoy embroidery? And do you have any family food allergies? If you have any favourite dairy-free websites you like to visit, please share!

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    • Vicky
    • February 9, 2017

    Hi Sue, our planning works as you described. There’s so much that we want to do which we wouldn’t get done without some sort of plan. Carrie bought me a beautiful leather planner from Kikki K that I use to jot down ideas and a rough outline for the next day. It is colourful and creative so it makes planning quite fun and it inspires more creativity. You talked about some of the things I touched on, in my email to you, earlier. I should have listened to the podcast first! xxx

    1. Reply


      Oh yes, it’s easy to let time run away and not do all those things we’d love to do. I have to admit I’m not very productive. My work habits are a bit hit and miss. Maybe I can improve by using a simple planning system. I don’t like the idea of planning too far ahead or even being too rigid with a day’s worth of time. I do love our free life and I want to remain flexible in order to take advantage of unexpected joyful moments. I wouldn’t want to miss out on those times just because my plan tells me I’m supposed to be doing something different.

      I found an article by Cal Newport in which he talks about his daily plans:

      I was happy to discover his plan isn’t pretty because I also do lots of untidy scribbling. I have a few beautiful notebooks including a Kikki K one, but I’m afraid to ruin them with my scrawls! I can imagine how beautiful and creative your plans are. They’d be worthy of a good notebook or journal!

      Thank you for listening to my podcast and for stopping by!

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