Unschoolgram: 2018 December and November

31 December 2018
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Do you want to hear my BIG news? You might not believe it. It’s been a long time coming… Yesterday, I finished my unschooling book!
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To be more accurate, I finished my first unschooling book. I still have a bit of work to do before the second one is also ready to be published. (It’s written but needs more editing.) But finishing one book isn’t bad, is it?
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Now I need to proofread the manuscript, think about a cover design, decide on a title…
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I’m feeling excited. I keep doing happy dances and saying, “Did I tell you I finished my unschooling book?” My patient family keeps replying, “You finished your book? That’s fantastic! Congratulations!” (What would we do without our family support teams?)
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My daughter Sophie took this photo of me a few days ago when we visited the river together. I’d really love to write a book with Sophie. Share unschooling from a teenager’s point of view. Sophie always has so many interesting things to say. What do you think of that idea? (Perhaps I have too many ideas!) And what do you think of me finishing my book? Perhaps you thought I’d never get it done. I have to admit that there were times when that’s exactly what I thought too. Now I feel like I can do anything!

30 December 2018
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Are you still feeling in a Christmas mood? Do you want to hear an Aussie Christmas fire truck story? Several years ago, I wrote…
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So we’re sitting here at home on a very hot day with a severe bushfire danger warning, and we hear a siren. It repeats over and over again. Our hearts start to beat a bit faster as I head to the Rural Fire Service website to check on bushfires (remembering how a couple of years ago, sirens announced the start of a devastating bushfire right on our doorstep). And then the siren sounds right in our street and I rush outside to see a fire truck coming down the road.
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And there’s Santa sitting on top of it, smiling and waving to everyone. I suppose if a fire does arrive today, and a siren sounds, we’ll all just say, “Oh, that’s just Santa,” and we’ll keep on doing whatever we’re doing…
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Every year, a few days before Christmas, Santa arrives in a fire truck accompanied by the sound of a siren. But this year, I didn’t hear him. My ears were hidden away under my headphones which was just as well because the first thing I think of when I hear a siren isn’t Santa. I always imagine a huge bushfire roaring its way through our village.
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You can probably tell from Charlotte’s and Gemma-Rose’s summer dresses that it’s rather warm here at the moment. The fire danger is high. (It could be a lot worse.) Although there are a number of fires burning across our state, there aren’t any near us. We can relax and continue enjoying the Christmas holidays.
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Does anyone else live in a bushfire danger zone? Perhaps it’s cold rather than hot where you live. I’d love to hear what the weather is like at your place!
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Now I’ve told my Christmas fire truck story, it’s time to work on my unschooling book. I only have two days left until my deadline arrives. Will I finish the book on time. Yes, I will!

29 December 2018
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My daughter Imogen got a big surprise on Christmas Day. When she unwrapped her gift from sister Sophie, she discovered something she’d made herself. She received a copy of her own novel, The Crystal Tree!
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Imogen already had an author’s proof copy of her fantasy novel, but she didn’t have the published version. But now she does! Doesn’t it look good? (My daughter Charlotte designed the cover.)
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The other night, Imogen had another surprise. She found two new 5 star ratings for The Crystal Tree on Amazon. Obviously, the readers had enjoyed Imogen’s story. Perhaps you would like it too. Why not check it out?
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29 December 2018
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Do you want to hear a funny Christmas story? A couple of years ago, after we’d eaten our Christmas dinner, my daughter Sophie said, “Shall we wash the dishes in the dishwasher?” We decided that it didn’t really matter if the dishes took hours to wash using litres and litres of water. (Our dishwasher isn’t very efficient as you might have gathered.) So we opened the dishwasher door…
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“Oh look, the dishwasher’s full of dishes! When was the last time we used it?” We decided it was Easter Sunday. Our dishes had been in the dishwasher for months. So we rescued our forgotten crockery and then someone said, “Now we no longer have to share plates when we eat dinner. We can have one of our own!”
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Photo: My daughter Gemma-Rose isn’t laughing at my story, but I hope you smiled.
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If my Christmas dishwasher story sounds familiar, I did share it on Facebook a long time ago. Today, for some reason, I thought of those lost dishes and decided to share the story again. I guess I was looking for an excuse to stop editing my unschooling book. But now I’ve posted my story, I should get back to work. btw, I’ve almost finished the final edits of book one of my unschooling series!
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So do you wash your dishes by hand or do you use a dishwasher? And do you have any funny Christmas stories to share?

28 December 2018
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Imagine… Meghan Markle says to the prince, “Harry, I’ve been reading about unschooling. Can we unschool our child?” Then the royal couple has a big discussion about unschooling, and they get very excited before Prince Harry shakes his head and says, “It’s never going to happen. The Queen will not approve.”
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The British royal family have to fulfil other people’s expectations. They are bound by all kinds of rules and regulations. They aren’t free to be themselves. They could never unschool. They don’t have that choice. But we do.
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We’re living a life that others might only be able to dream about. If you’re not already unschooling, do you want to join us?
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Photo: Gemma-Rose has just unwrapped a Christmas gift and discovered a bottle of nail polish. What colour is it? It’s not regulation princess pale pink. It’s a gorgeous shade of blue!

27 December 2018
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I’m going to call this photo ‘Waiting’. Our cat is waiting for everyone to open the Christmas gifts. Of course, Gemma-Rose and Imogen are waiting too.
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I think the girls are organising the Christmas music. They’re looking for a Christmas playlist on Spotify. We gave the girls a family subscription to Spotify a couple of years ago. It was one of our most successful Christmas gifts ever.
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As you can see, our little green chairs are no longer being used as Christmas tree decorating stools. They’re now coffee tables!

26 December 2018
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The other day we were talking about praise. Should we praise our kids? How does praise affect them? Since then I’ve been thinking about praise from the giver’s point of view. Do we need to praise our kids (and other people) for our own sakes?
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When we praise properly, we have to look carefully. We need to appreciate our kids’ talents. We accept who they are. Praise gives us a sense of awe: these are our kids! It leads to gratitude. Of course, it starts with love and it ends with joy.
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Does anyone ever muddle up your kids? Do people think that they look the same? This happens a lot to us. But it could never happen to a parent who sees each child as a unique person with individual talents and delights.
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Here are 3 of my 8 children: Imogen, Gemma-Rose and Charlotte. My daughter Sophie took this photo for me after she’d helped the girls get ready for Midnight Mass. I love seeing sisters doing each other’s hair and nails, and making suggestions about clothes, and even lending each other dresses and jewellery.
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I hope you’re experiencing the joy of Christmas!

26 December 2018
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I bet you didn’t receive a Yeti for Christmas. But I did! What am I going to do with it? Record another year’s worth of unschooling podcast episodes!
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A few weeks ago, my daughter Sophie’s eyes opened wide when we discovered the Yeti mics in a local gaming shop. She said they give a very real and rich sound. Sophie must have told my husband Andy about the Yeti because he decided I needed one for podcasting and so he bought me one for Christmas!
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I can’t wait to try out my mic. I’ll have to start planning a few episodes for 2019. If you have any topics you’d like me to talk about, please let me know!
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Did you get any unexpected gifts? Or any useful ones? Perhaps you got something that made you smile?
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Taking the Unschooling Yeti for a Test Drive

24 December 2018
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You might be able to see 3 painted salt dough angels, 3 peg angels, 1 blue egg-shaped felt ornament, 2 cats who believe we put up the tree just for them, 1 sister in the shadows, and Gemma-Rose who is going to be very excited when she wakes up because it’s Christmas Eve!
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Yes, it’s almost Christmas. I’m the only person awake. It’s going to be a long day and night so everyone else is getting as much sleep as possible. We’re going to spend the day cooking and resting. Then tonight we’re going to Midnight Mass!
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I hope you all have a very special Christmas celebration with your families. Happy Christmas!

23 December 2018
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Sometimes online friends say to me, “How can you celebrate Christmas in summer? It mustn’t feel like Christmas.” It feels like Christmas to us!
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For us, Christmas is…. hot and sunny, (hopefully no bushfires), pretty summer dresses, open windows, warm breezes, baubles bobbing on the Christmas tree, music practices, hot fat cats spread out on the cool tiles, laughter floating over the fence from our neighbours’ gardens, fairy lights twinkling in the dark, going out in the delicious cool of the night to Midnight Mass, falling into bed in the early hours of the morning, waking up far too early, excitement, carefully chosen gifts, a sea of wrapping paper, hugs, smiles, love…
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What’s Christmas like at your place? Similar to ours? Or completely different?

23 December 2018
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What do you think about praise? A lot of people say that we shouldn’t praise our kids. Maybe that’s because we don’t want kids to do things just to get a parent’s approval. That makes sense. But is there room for the right kind of praise? Is it okay to tell our kids they are doing a good job, maybe phrasing it so that they know their efforts are making a difference?
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If we go to a musical concert and enjoy the performance, we applaud. If we get the chance, we might personally thank the singer or pianist or another musician. If I enjoy a good cup of coffee, I thank the barista. I’m always looking for opportunities to tell people I appreciate what they’re doing, the effort they are making, how their talents (both the big kind and the less showy variety) are making a difference to me and others. Why shouldn’t I give the same feedback and thanks to my kids? Of course, praise has to be sincere and specific and take into account the fact that our talents were given to us. It’s what we do with them that’s important. So perhaps, “You are such a good singer!” isn’t enough.
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I’ve been thinking about how love is at the heart of praise. We praise because we love. And the fruit of praise is joy both for the receiver and the giver.
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Christmas is, of course, a season for praise and joy and love. In this photo, my daughter Gemma-Rose is decorating our tree.
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Just some rather muddled thoughts about praise. I’d love to hear what you think!

20 December 2018
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This is Imogen Elvis. She’s an unschooler who did a university degree (writing and publishing). When she graduated, she chose not to get a safe and secure and expected job. Instead, she experimented with her music and wrote and published a fantasy novel called The Crystal Tree. Now she’s writing the sequel while working in a cafe and continuing to sing. She’s doing what she loves. She’s using her talents. Of course, Imogen is my daughter!
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Imogen is also a skilled Christmas tree decorator!
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I’d love to hear what your older unschoolers are doing or what they hope to do. How are they using their talents and following their dreams?
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See those green chairs? We’ve had them for years. My children used to be small enough to sit on them without their knees bumping into their chins. I almost got rid of these outgrown chairs, but then we discovered they make good places to rest coffee cups and laptops. We can also stand on them to reach books on high shelves. And they come in very handy when we’re decorating our Christmas tree!

19 December 2019
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A best friend daughter. A Christmas tree. ❤️

18 December 2018
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Do your kids buy or make gifts for each of their siblings? Mine do. They all find something special for each other (and me and my husband too). That’s a lot of gifts! I love watching my children working out their budgets, thinking about what each other would like, chatting about the possibilities, and then doing their shopping or disappearing into their bedrooms to make things in secret.
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On Christmas Eve, everyone arranges their gifts under our tree. And I look at the sea of presents covering the floor and feel so very blessed because of what those gifts represent: Love ❤️
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Photo: Charlotte and Imogen are arranging the lights on the Christmas tree. Years ago, I used to do this. I remember the lights getting tangled up and how frustrating it was. I was very happy to pass this job onto my girls!
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Do your kids give gifts to each of their siblings? And who puts the lights on your Christmas tree?

18 December 2018
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Don’t you love how we can learn just by having conversations with each other? As we enjoy chatting, we can share our experiences, pass on interesting info we’ve found out, and mull over our thoughts and ideas.
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The other day, my husband Andy was passing on the latest British royal news. He often does that even though we’re not royalists. It’s just a fun family thing: “Hey, Dad, so what’s happening in the royal world?” someone will say. And then Andy will share the latest news.
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Even though our conversations are meant for fun, they have led to some serious learning. Such things as the royal wardrobe or the succession to the throne or royal education have led to some deep conversations.
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A couple of days ago, Andy said, “Do you know what the royal family gives each other for Christmas?” We had no idea. How do people who have lots of money make their gifts special when nobody needs anything? Apparently, the royal family gives each other quirky fun inexpensive gifts that make each other smile. Can you imagine the Queen unwrapping a shower cap on Christmas Day?
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Photo: Imogen is putting the tinsel on our Christmas tree. Gemma-Rose and Charlotte are putting it on themselves!
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Had any good conversations recently? And have you received any quirky gifts that made you smile?
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How Light Can Turn into Deep and Serious

17 December 2018
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Do you ever get your days in a muddle? This morning, I crawled out of bed at 5.45 am and headed straight into the shower. As I was standing under the warm stream of water shampooing my hair, I suddenly realised that today isn’t Sunday as I’d first thought. It’s Monday and I was supposed to be pulling on my running gear, not washing my hair and getting ready to go to church.
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I bet it’s still Sunday for many of you. You’ve probably not reached Monday. I find it fascinating how we’re all living in different time zones. I know my New Zealand friends are a little bit ahead of us (Australia) in time, but for most people, I’m talking to you from the future!
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So it’s not Sunday as I first thought. Today I shall be doing Monday things like taking Sophie to the podiatrist and going shopping. (I’ve had a great Christmas present idea for my husband!) And then this afternoon, we’re going to finish decorating our Christmas tree. This year, we seem to be putting up our tree in stages. So far, we’ve put the tree together and we’ve added the lights and the tinsel. Next, we need to weigh down the branches with the hundreds of ornaments we’ve made or bought or been given over the years! .
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So I wonder if you ever forget what day it is. Do you find time fascinating? And are you ahead or behind or in the same time zone as us?

16 December 2018
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Look, we’re putting up our Christmas tree! Are we late? Actually, we’re early… for us. Normally, we wait until a couple of days before Christmas before we start assembling our tree. This year, we’re doing things a little differently.
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I know most people have had their trees up for a long time. Not everyone is doing things like us. And that’s okay, isn’t it? I love how we all have our own traditions. Our own way of doing things.
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Do our family traditions bond us together? I’ve been thinking about how repeating our traditions in a particular way each year makes us feel like we belong.
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Of course, traditions can be dropped in favour of new ones. They can also be adjusted. So this year, we’re putting up our tree on a different day. For us, Gaudete Sunday seems like the perfect Christmas tree decorating day!
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So I’m wondering if you’ve changed any of your Christmas traditions this year. Have you eliminated any? Or perhaps you’ve added some?
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Photo: My daughters Imogen and Charlotte are putting together our tree.

15 December 2018
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Do you want to hear something shocking? I saw a naked man in the bush. Or maybe I didn’t. I thought I did, but now I’m not so sure.
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We were in the bush just as the sun was rising, setting up for a music video when a man and two dogs appeared. He was holding a long stick and he was wearing no clothes. Fortunately, my girls weren’t looking in the right direction. As soon as the man saw me, he turned around and headed back between the trees.
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I’d seen this man before (fully clothed). He’d appeared while we were making another video on another morning. On that occasion, he’d stopped and chatted to us about the beautiful sunrise and what we were doing. This time, he’d hurried away because he was naked. Or was he?
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My mind tells me that it’s not likely that a man would wander through the bush without any clothes. I must have made a mistake despite the evidence: why didn’t he continue along the path like he did the last time we saw him? Why, when his dog decided to stay with us, didn’t he come back to get him?
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So I’m no longer sure what I saw. Perhaps I shouldn’t even have told you this story. Maybe you’ll think I’m strange imagining naked men. Why am I even thinking about that man?
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Well, I was thinking about how our minds need to stay with what we know and what is safe. It’s hard for them to accept something out of the ordinary. Even if we have the evidence before our eyes, our minds convince us we must be wrong.
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I think this happens a lot with unschooling. We might read about unschooling and ponder it and it could make sense. But then we reject it. Despite the evidence, knowing deep down that it’s right, we return to the old ideas which are wrong. It’s too much for our minds to deal with. What will people think if we became unschoolers? It’s easier to stay with what we know rather than accept something different. Something totally different that might make people look at us in a strange way. Yes, we can end up talking ourselves out of things. Unschooling is a crazy idea. I couldn’t have seen a naked man in the bush.
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But I did see his dog.

14 December 2018
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Do your kids like listening to stories being read aloud? How about you? I must admit that I don’t particularly enjoy listening. Maybe that’s got something to do with my childhood experiences, the way reading out loud was always associated with formal learning rather than it being a pleasurable experience of its own.
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In this week’s podcast, episode 144, ‘Reading Out Loud and a Generous Christmas’, I’m talking about my family’s reading out loud experiences. My kids, even the older ones, love listening to stories! I’m also sharing what I learnt when my youngest daughter Gemma-Rose took over my reader’s chair. Unfortunately, at first, I wasn’t very patient when she read out loud. I pointed out all her reading mistakes. This didn’t help. But something else did. In my podcast, I share how Gemma-Rose gained good reading skills by telling my story ‘The Reading-Out-Loud Experiment.’
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If you’d like to listen to episode 144, you’ll find it on Apple Podcasts, Podbean or any podcast app. It’s also embedded on my blog, together with a blog post about reading out loud.
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Photo: I took this photo while we were filming the Christmas music video, ‘Lo How a Rose Ere Blooming’. We strung up baubles between the gum trees to make a festive background for the video. Because I also spoke about Christmas in this week’s podcast, I thought I’d add some Christmas themed photos to my post. I also embedded Imogen’s Christmas music video on my blog just in case you’d like to watch it!
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Reading Out Loud and a Generous Christmas

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The Reading Out Loud Experiment

11 December 2018
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If you’re having a present-giving Christmas, maybe, like me, you’re feeling a bit tired because of the extra work.
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Each year, I think about having a simpler Christmas. Fewer gifts or perhaps no gifts at all. And even though this is tempting, I always decide to buy presents for my family after all. I’m not responding to the pressure exerted by shops. My decision has nothing to do with the commercial side of Christmas. I freely choose to sacrifice my time and energy and money for the people I love.
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I spoke about Christmas presents (and also respecting kids) in episode 143 of my stories of an unschooling family podcast. And I expanded my thoughts on present giving in a blog post which I’ve just published. If you’re interested in listening or reading (or both!) please follow the link in my bio.
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Photo: You might have seen this photo before. I took it a couple of years ago. Charlotte, Gemma-Rose, Imogen, Andy and Callum sang ‘The Carol of the Bells.’ Sophie filmed their performance and then made a video for Imogen’s YouTube channel. I have no idea what everyone was laughing about before they started singing. Obviously, someone said something very funny!
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I’d have liked to have used a new photo for my blog post and Instagram, but I couldn’t find one. Did you hear that I lost most of the photos of the last 4 years due to a malfunctioning external hard drive? I’m still hoping that the files can be recovered. But for now, I have to be content with using what I have. Accepting things as they are. Sometimes that’s difficult, isn’t it?
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Respecting Kids and Christmas Presents

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8 December 2018
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Maybe you’re wondering… (or maybe you’re not!)… if I’m publishing a podcast this week. Yes, I am. It’s a bit late, but I have recorded episode 143. This afternoon, I shall edit it and upload it.
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This week, I’m talking about respecting kids and Christmas presents. Two separate topics, not one! Also, I’m sharing how I’m getting on with my unschooling book.
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You can probably guess that I took this photo during a music video shoot. Imogen was singing Spanish Carol. Gemma-Rose looks like she was being filmed as well, but she wasn’t! (You might have to click on the photo to see it properly.)
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So I’m off to edit my podcast. I wonder what you’re doing. Anyone finished their Christmas shopping? I have!
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Respecting Kids and Christmas Presents

7 December 2018
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Do you like creating beautiful things out of free materials? I do! Each year, I make a Christmas tree using fallen branches that I’ve gathered from the bush close to our home.
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I haven’t yet made this year’s tree, but here’s one we made a couple of years ago for a music video shoot. We assembled the tree on the grass in the nature reserve by the river. And then my daughter Imogen sang her Christmas song while sister Sophie filmed it.
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Imogen’s tree is decorated with baubles, strings of beads and a star. I usually add lights to my trees, and maybe leaves and flowers and whatever else I can find to make them look pretty.
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I wrote a blog post called How to Make an Aussie Bush Christmas Tree.
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Making an Aussie Bush Christmas Tree

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7 December 2018
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Have you heard that I’m writing an unschooling book? It seems like I’ve been writing it forever. Maybe some people are wondering why it’s taking me so long to finish it. I’ve been wondering that too. But now I know.
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I just checked the word count for my book and got a shock. I’ve written over 216,000 words and I haven’t finished. I told my daughter Imogen and she laughed. “Mum, you haven’t written one book. You’ve written two or three!”
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So what do I do? Throw out half of the book? Or publish my book in two parts? Is what I have to say worthy of more than one book? Decisions! Decisions! I’d love to hear what you think!
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Did you hear that I’ve just about finished my unschooling book? (I dare not write much more!)
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Photo: I think my daughters Imogen and Gemma-Rose are laughing at my predicament. It is funny, isn’t it?

6 December 2018
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Do you remember the first time you saw your child? That was a magic moment, wasn’t it? I bet we all thought our babies were absolutely perfect.
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It’s very sad that initial impressions wear off. We begin to see faults in our children. As they grow, we criticise and complain and maybe wonder how they’re going to get on in life and fit into the world. Surely it’s our duty to point out our children’s faults? They need to know what they have to work on, don’t they? Or maybe they don’t.
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I had an interesting discussion with my daughter Sophie (in one of my podcasts.) She’s horrified that parents not only criticise their kids but that they do it in public. Putting kids down makes them feel terrible. It doesn’t spur them on to do better. It makes them feel like they are no good. (And sometimes parents complain about things that aren’t faults at all.)
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So what do kids need? They need to be accepted just as they are. All the things we worry about might melt away under the influence of unconditional love.
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Years ago, I knew someone whose daughter was awkward and ungainly and not, on first impressions, as attractive and gifted as the other children. One day, a friend whispered in my ear, “Her mother treats her like a princess. She feels as beautiful as the other girls.” And she was beautiful. We just weren’t looking with the right eyes.
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Photo: Yesterday, my daughter Gemma-Rose said, “Quinn might be cute, but she’s not what you’d call a beautiful dog.” But we wouldn’t change her. To us, Quinn is perfect. She loves us and we love her. And that’s all that matters. Love is the only thing that’s important, isn’t it?
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Trust, Respect, and Love Unconditionally

5 December 2018
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Do you ever think about time and how it passes so quickly? I blink and another week has disappeared. It’s a bit disconcerting.
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Because I no longer have small children, I have quite a bit of free time. I’ve been thinking about how I’m using it. Am I achieving all I’d like to do? And the answer is no. I waste a lot of time. I tell myself that it doesn’t matter. There’s always tomorrow. But is time as limitless as I like to imagine?
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Using time well doesn’t mean rushing through life. I’m not talking about filling up every moment with activity. It’s important that I spend lots of time seemingly doing nothing: relaxing and chatting with my kids, just sitting and thinking and soaking up the pleasures of life. Instead, I’m thinking about all the things that I’d like to do such as finishing my unschooling book. I keep telling myself that there’s plenty of time. But is there? A sense of urgency has crept up on me. I’ve got to get a few things finished.
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So that’s why I’ve been a bit quiet on Instagram this week. Instead of thinking about photos and captions, I’ve been working on my book. I’ve got a deadline to meet. It’s rushing towards me. Will I get my book finished before it arrives?
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Photo: It can be a bit disconcerting having a dog stare at you while you’re eating. Quinn’s eyes move from Gemma-Rose’s plate to her mouth and back again with every mouthful, ever hopeful that she’ll get a taste. What’s this photo got to do with the caption? I’m not sure. And maybe it doesn’t matter if there isn’t a connection. Things don’t have to be perfect, do they? Perfectionism steals so much time. But not today.
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So I’m going to do some good work on my book today because I want to get it finished. And then when I get to the end of that project, I’m going to move on to the next important thing on my list of Things I Want to Achieve. I wonder if you have one of those lists. What’s important to you? What do you dream of doing? How are you spending your time?

2 December 2018
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This is Quinn. She doesn’t look very happy, does she? She’s protesting about being tied to the picnic table. She’d much rather go for a walk around the lake. Or a run. Yes, Quinn has joined our running team.
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The other morning, all my at-home girls came running with me: 4 girls, 1 mother and 2 dogs. The Team was reunited. It was like going back in time to those days when we all wandered together down to the bush before breakfast. It was an unexpected treat having Imogen, Charlotte and Sophie running with me and not just Gemma-Rose. Time moves on so quickly. Girls get busy, go to work, do other things. Our typical unschooling days change.
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Sometimes I wish life could stand still. I want to savour all the pleasures of this moment. I don’t want to move on. However, I’ve come to realise that if we are willing to accept change, life is always okay. Letting go of some things allows us to embrace others. There are always delights to enjoy and adventures to follow in every season of life. As time passes, children and love and dogs keep growing…
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Btw, Quinn is a Shar-Pei / Great Dane cross. She has a wonderfully expressive face and a huge heart full of love for her immediate family. She’s wary of anyone else!

30 November 2018
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Do you remember how I was telling you about my daughter Sophie’s plans to have a career that incorporates all her big passions of fitness and health, photography and videography, writing and cooking? I said I’d invite Sophie to join me on my podcast to chat with me about her life, work and dreams. Well, we recorded an episode together!
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In episode 142 of my Stories of an Unschooling Family podcast, Sophie (17) talks about her full-time work and how it has allowed her to enrol in the certificate course of her choice. She decided to bypass university and find another way to the career she wants.
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As well as her study and work, Sophie and I talk about a lot of other things: how she’s balancing her busy life, trusting and supporting our kids, not squashing their ambitions, making friends, being different…
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I turned a short excerpt from this week’s episode into a video: How Learning Is Affected by Interest and Relevance. You’ll find it on my blog (and YouTube), together with the video transcript, and the whole of episode 142. (Link in bio.) Of course, you can also find my podcast on Apple Podcasts, Podbean, or your favourite podcast app. Sophie and I hope you’ll listen!
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An Unschooler Talks About Life, Work and Dreams

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24 November 2018
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Don’t you love watching your kids when they’re gripped by their passions? It’s very exciting. They’re full of joy. We can see they are learning. (We have lots of notes for our homeschool records notebooks.)
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It’s not so good when a child loses interest in what she’s doing. She could start to drift along. She might not show much interest in anything at all. We wonder: When will her next big thing arrive? Do we begin to worry?
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Watching my own children over the years, I have decided that learning doesn’t happen in a constant full-on way. Instead, an exciting learning time can be followed by a quiet time. Then one day, things start moving again. A child will return to her interest or go in a completely different direction. So there’s nothing to worry about. We just need to be patient and trust. And maybe do a bit of strewing!
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I’m talking about this topic in this week’s podcast, episode 141: When a Child Is No Longer Gripped by a Passion. See my blog or your favourite podcast app if you’d like to listen.
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Btw, I made this video using the website Headliner. I took an audio clip, added a photo, and the website software generated the transcript and waveform. Headliner is free to use. You just need to sign up for an account.
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When a Child Is No Longer Gripped by a Passion

22 November 2018
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And now for something completely different… Do you need a new Advent wreath? How about making one from salt dough? We have a salt dough Advert wreath that’s 19 years old! It’s become a family heirloom!
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Salt Dough Recipe
Ingredients:
1 cup cooking salt
1 cup warm water
2 teaspoons cooking oil or glycerine
3 cups plain flour
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Method:
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Dissolve salt in warm water, mix in oil or glycerine. Mix this liquid into flour. Turn dough onto a floured surface and knead until pliable and smooth. Keep in an air-tight container.
Place wreath on a tray lined with aluminium foil and dry in an oven 100 -150 degrees C until hard.
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PS: Some extra tips
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If the oven temperature is too high, the dough will start to rise and become puffy. Low temperature and lots of patience!
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You can make a template for the wreath by drawing two circles, one inside the other, on a piece of baking paper. The distance between the circles is the width of the wreath. It obviously needs to be wide enough to hold the candles. The dough ring needs to be thick enough to support the candles, but not so thick it takes days for the wreath to dry out! I twisted two dough ‘sausages’ together to form the base of my wreath.
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I used a cookie cutter to cut the star shapes around the candle holders. I then removed a circle from each star-shaped piece of dough before ‘glueing them into place with water.
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We use purple and rose candles during Advent changing them for white ones on Christmas Day.

21 November 2018
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Do you ever wonder where your kids’ passions might take them? How will they use them? Will they be able to earn money while doing the things they enjoy?
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You might know that my daughter Sophie has lots of passions: photography, videography, fitness and health, writing, cooking… But you might not know that she has a big plan that will involve using all her interests. Sophie is doing things differently from most kids her age (17). She doesn’t want to go to university (at least, not at the moment), but she does have lots of other ideas.
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Perhaps I can ask Sophie to join me for an episode of my podcast so that she can share what she’s planning to do. What do you think? Would you be interested in hearing more?
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Of course, the photo is of Sophie. It’s another one of my Imogen’s-birthday-breakfast- picnic-at-the-lake photos!

20 November 2018
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“Are you still living at home?” My older kids get asked this question quite a lot. Maybe the word ‘still’ implies that they should be living independent lives by now. That there’s something wrong. Except I think there’s something very right about having adult children who aren’t in a hurry to leave us.
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I am so glad my still-at-home adult kids aren’t saying, “I can’t wait to leave. I want to do things my way. I want to live my own life.” They can be exactly who they are, and do what they like, and live their own lives, right here at home.
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Imogen and Charlotte are two of my young adult children. They’re ‘still’ living at home. They’re here helping us. We help them. That’s what families do. One day, Imogen and Charlotte will move on just like their older siblings. But for now, I love having them at home.
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I’m wondering: If we’re happy for our kids to stay at home now, will a day arrive when they will be happy to welcome us into their homes? When we’re old and need help, will our kids invite us to be part of their lives? Will they look after us? I think that’s exactly what will happen.
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I took this photo this morning at Imogen’s birthday breakfast picnic at the lake. Happy birthday, Imogen!

17 November 2018
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When was the last time you stepped outside your comfort zone and did something that seemed difficult? It can be scary taking up new challenges, can’t it? But so satisfying when we conquer our fears.
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There are a lot of things that we might find difficult. It can be hard to step back and not push our kids to use their talents. Or let our kids do what they like despite our fears that they might fail. And how about agreeing to be interviewed for a podcast? I faced that fear recently!
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I’m talking about Difficult Things in episode 140 of my stories of an unschooling family podcast. If you’d like to listen, you’ll find this week’s episode on Apple podcasts, Podbean, or your favourite podcast app. Also, I’ve embedded it on my blog. (Link in bio.)
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You might know that my daughters Sophie and Gemma-Rose did a difficult thing recently. They ran in a 10 K race. You might not know that Gemma-Rose won a gym subscription in the post-run draw! Gemma-Rose gave her prize to my husband Andy. Now he can use his free membership every afternoon when he finishes work. I’m wondering: Is going to the gym a difficult thing? What do you think?
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Difficult Things

16 November 2018
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Hey, look! I’m on the Exploring Unschooling podcast! Thank you, @pamlaricchia for inviting me to be part of your podcast. It was such a pleasure talking with you.
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EU150: Stories of an Unschooling Family with Sue Elvis

15 November 2018
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What does being free mean? Do we want to be free to do whatever we want? Or is that not possible? Perhaps it’s not even desirable because we’d all end up living very self-centred lives if there were no limits.
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Maybe there are other better ways of being free. Imagine being free of the old flawed ideas about education and parenting, the ones that echo in our heads preventing us from moving forward. Wouldn’t it be good to be free of our fears? Free of worry about what others think of us. Free of our need to be liked and approved of. Free of our impatience, anger, critical nature, our need to control… whatever it is that interferes with our relationships with our children and other people.
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Perhaps we want to be free to love unconditionally and trust and live this unschooling life fully with our kids. What do you think? What does freedom mean to you?
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Sophie and Gemma-Rose are taking photos, capturing their joy after running in their 10 km race. I don’t know what the connection is between this photo and the caption. Could this be it? Running through the bush early on a beautiful morning while most people are getting ready for work or school feels like freedom. But if we want to run in a race, we have to follow the rules. Sometimes giving up some of our freedom, challenging ourselves within particular limits, is worth it. True joy and satisfaction come from doing what is difficult, not from taking the easy path and doing whatever we want. Maybe that’s a bit of a muddled thought, but it’s clear that my daughters felt great joy after running hard in their race!

14 November 2018
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Time is precious. How long will we have with each child? Even if we have the usual amount of years, they will fly by. Will we spend that time trying to turn our child into the person we think she should be? Will we spend time battling? Will we worry about her future?
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Or will we accept our child as she is right now? Will we enjoy and love her unconditionally? Will we trust that she’ll get where she is meant to go?
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My daughter Sophie is photographing big brother Thomas’ grave. Sometimes the time we get to spend with our children is far too short. That doesn’t mean the love is small. Oh no, it keeps growing and growing with each passing year.

13 November 2018
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There’s nothing like death to make us realise what’s really important in life. Suddenly all the things we usually worry about dissolve away. We no longer care what people think about us. We have no energy for pretending to be who we’re not in order to be accepted. It really doesn’t matter if we’re liked or not. I suppose when we reveal who we truly are, some people might say, “She’s not herself, poor thing. She’s just lost a baby.” They make excuses for us.
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It’s strange how we sometimes feel we have to hide who we really are and what we believe. Do we do this because we want to be liked? Do we think no one will like who we really are? Perhaps we’ve been told we have to be a certain way to be liked. A few times recently, I’ve heard that in trying to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one, especially ourselves and our families.
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Yesterday, we took a trip out to the cemetery where my son Thomas is buried. We usually visit Thomas on his birthday (last Friday), but a couple of the girls were busy that day. I suppose I could have gone alone or with just one or two girls, but that seemed too sad. Life moves quickly and children grow up and move on. A day will come when I won’t have any children at home. I might have to visit the cemetery by myself. But not this year. Sophie, Charlotte, Imogen and Gemma-Rose are still here. They’re all in this year’s birthday photos.

12 November 2018
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Do you ever discourage your kids from doing something they really want to do? Perhaps you think they should be sensible? Be realistic about their chances of success? Well, I almost squashed my daughter Sophie flat when she said she was going to run in a 10 K race.
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Sophie has recently had oral surgery, a bad reaction to 3 courses of antibiotics, food intolerances, sleepless nights, a foot problem… She hasn’t been able to run much in the last few weeks. I wondered if she was taking on too much. Wouldn’t it be better for her to be sensible, build up her fitness again and not risk failure?
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The look on Sophie’s face tells the story: she entered the race, ran her best time ever, and collected an age category medal!
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Sophie’s achievement reminds me that our kids know themselves better than we do. We should encourage rather than squash them. Let them try. Because what’s the worst that can happen? They might not succeed, but is that so very bad? It’s not all about winning. Instead, it’s about trying and enjoying and seeing where that might lead.
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I’ve been thinking about how lots of adults are afraid to try. We find so many excuses about why we can’t do something. At least I do. But not this time. I’ve agreed to run with the girls next year. (I’ll do the 5 K course.) For me, it’s certainly not about winning but just seeing what I can do. And, of course, enjoying the experience!
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Don’t you love the smile on the man’s face, the one to the right of Sophie? Everyone was so happy for the winners. A gathering of people sharing a passion. A wonderful atmosphere!
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Do your kids surprise you? Do they inspire you? Perhaps it’s time to be brave and take up a new challenge!

12 November 2018
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Do you remember how we were talking about pushing our kids? Should we push them to use their talents? Sometimes we’re tempted to do this because we can see that our children are good at certain things and it might seem a waste if they choose not to use their skills.
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For the last few years, we watched Gemma-Rose enjoy her running. “You should enter a race,” we all said at regular intervals. And each time, Gemma-Rose shook her head and said she wasn’t interested. So we backed off. And then last year, when we were buying new running shoes, we saw a poster on the shop’s wall advertising a fun run. I asked Gemma-Rose if she’d like to enter the race expecting her to say no, as usual, but she surprised us by saying yes.
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So Gemma-Rose ran in that race. And she ran in another one earlier this year. And then yesterday, she ran again. She’s running okay. She’s improving her race times. But that’s not the important bit. What I love most is seeing Gemma-Rose doing something that fills her with confidence and joy. Running is her thing. She just needed time and space to decide for herself that this is something she wants to do.
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There are other things I think Gemma-Rose would be good at, but she’s not interested in pursuing them. At least, not at the moment. And maybe never. Or she might do them, but in a completely different way to the one that I’ve got in mind. And that’s okay, isn’t it? Perhaps we have to put our own ideas aside. Let our kids work things out for themselves. What do you think?

11 November 2018
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Don’t Gemma-Rose and Sophie look happy? This morning, they ran in a 10 K race and came home with a medal each! They knew they’d run personal best times but didn’t expect to be winners. Oh my, we were all so excited when their names were called to come and claim their medals. We still are excited! Gemma-Rose came second in her age group. Sophie came first in hers. The younger girls must have run faster than the older ones because Gemma-Rose came over the finish line ahead of Sophie.
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Challenging themselves. Working hard. Doing something they really enjoy. Sharing a passion with a sibling. So much joy!

8 November 2018
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Our son Thomas is buried in this cemetery. A couple of years ago, my girls made a music video here. They decided to include their brother in that video.
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When Thomas died, and I was gripped by grief, I couldn’t imagine moving forward, experiencing joy again, enjoying life once more. I certainly didn’t imagine that Thomas would one day be part of a YouTube video!
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7 November 2018
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It’s almost that time of year again. Thomas’ birthday is on Friday. I wonder who will be in the birthday photos this year. It’s interesting to see the changes in the grave-side photos from year to year. Since Thomas died, children have joined our family and others have left home. Of course, everyone grows a year older.
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This photo is from last year. Sophie, Imogen, Gemma-Rose, Charlotte and I visited the cemetery together. I remember arranging the girls behind Thomas’ headstone and taking only a photo or two before we were distracted by a mob of kangaroos. They suddenly appeared in the paddock next to the cemetery. They were huge and there were lots of them. We watched as they bounded across the fields, jumping fences before disappearing. It was a magical few moments. When it was over, the girls took up their positions again and I finished taking the birthday photos!

6 November 2018
.We can endure a lot when we love, can’t we? Love helps us do things that seem almost impossible.
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Why am I thinking about love? Today, I was reading some of my blog posts on an old blog. And I came across a story about love. Here’s part of it:
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I remember a winter… when I had to nurse my seven children all at once. They caught some dreadful bug at exactly the same time. They coughed. They sneezed. They drooped. Their temperatures rose alarmingly. I took a couple of them to see the doctor. The next day I took a couple more. “Are you back again?” the doctor asked. And the day after that: “Do you have a never-ending supply of children?” No, he didn’t say that. I just made that bit up.
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For days, children huddled under blankets while I measured out medicine and popped thermometers into mouths. I held hands, stroked foreheads and read stories. In odd moments, I cooked meals, washed dishes, threw clothes into the washing machine… Oh yes, I also fed the baby. She was sick too. But I wasn’t. I knew I was living on borrowed time. Those germs were going to get me in the end. Except they didn’t.
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“What would you have done if you’d become ill as well?” My daughters ask me.
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“I’d have looked after you regardless.”
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Why? Because I’m a mother. It’s got something to do with love.
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Gemma-Rose was the baby in that story. She’s now 14. I’d do anything for her. Why? Because I’m her mother. It’s still got something to do with love!

5 November 2018
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I remember standing on the edge of this river, watching the sun rise while listening to my daughter Imogen singing the Cohen song, Hallelujah. It was such a joyful moment. I felt so grateful that we’re unschoolers. We have the freedom to spend our days doing things we enjoy. We can film music videos while most other people are getting ready to go to school or work.
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After we’d filmed this video, I told my girls that some unschoolers choose to go to school. This sounded unbelievable to them. Why would anyone swap this amazing unschooling life for school? But it does happen.
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I’m sitting here thinking about the day we filmed Hallelujah because I’m writing a story about joy and unschooling and how some unschooling kids want to go to school. Why would they want to do that? Do you have any ideas?
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5 November 2018
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I just found these words in an article I wrote about learning to read:
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‘When our first child, Felicity was about 5 years old, I decided it was time for her to learn to read. Things went very smoothly. We sat side by side for a few weeks. I gave Felicity some pointers. We read a lot together. Before I knew it, she was a fluent reader. It was a painless process.
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I thought, “Wow! I’m such a good teacher. Look, I’ve taught my very first child to read in a matter of weeks.”
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Felicity was reading the whole of the Anne of Green Gables series by herself when she was only six. And, of course, I wasn’t reluctant to share this with my homeschooling friends. “My daughter is only six years old and already she has read all these books!”’
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Oh my, I was so proud of myself! Just for a short time. I came down to earth with a resounding thud when it came time to teach my next child to read. Things didn’t fall into place so easily the second time around. Actually, teaching my son to read was a long and frustrating process. I soon realised that I hadn’t taught my daughter Felicity to read. She’d learnt to read despite me.
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This is my daughter Imogen. Younger sister Sophie took this photo of her reading her book.

3 November 2018
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Do your kids have lots of friends? Are you surrounded by many wonderful unschoolers who understand your way of life? Or do you, like us, have trouble finding friends because you’re different?
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I’m talking about friends in this week’s podcast, episode 139: Unschool Socialisation: Making Friends, Being Different.
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If someone doesn’t want to be our friend is there something wrong with us? How do you become a cool kid? Should we pretend to be someone we’re not so that we are accepted and have friends? Or is it better to be ourselves? Do we need lots of friends? Does ‘socialisation ‘ actually teach us how to communicate with people properly? Or maybe some people who have no trouble talking don’t actually have many communication skills?
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If you’d like to listen, you can find my stories of an unschooling family podcast on Apple Podcasts, Podbean, and any podcast app. Later today, I’m going to publish a blog post on this topic.
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In my podcast, I also talk about a few other things including my daughters Sophie and Imogen’s proposed trip to Sydney. Tomorrow they’re going to a NaNoWriMo event. They’ll be meeting up with other writers, visiting cafes, and writing. Who knows? They might make some friends!

3 November 2018
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Have you ever gone to a homeschool group because you’ve been told you have to make an effort for your kids’ sakes? They need opportunities to make friends. And has this happened to you?
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‘… Everyone in the group was welcoming and friendly. There was just one problem: We were the only unschooling family. The girls didn’t like being organised into activities they weren’t interested in. That’s not the way we do things. Conversations weren’t very relevant to us. Kids talked about what year of school they were in and what assignments they had to do. Parents chatted about curricula and planning and how to make kids do their school work. And that was okay because they needed to talk about such things. But we didn’t have anything to say on these topics…’
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We’ve found it difficult to find like-minded friends. I’ve had times when I’ve worried about this. For some reason, having lots of childhood friends is important. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. But maybe it’s not. What do you think?
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I’ve just published a blog post on the topic of friends and unschooling, ‘Unschool Socialisation: Making Friends and Being Different. If you’d like to read it, you’ll find it on the home page of my blog.
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If you prefer to listen, you’ll find my unschooling friends story in this week’s podcast, episode 139!
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Despite their lack of close friends, my daughters Gemma-Rose and Sophie look happy, don’t they? Sisters make excellent best friends!
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Unschool Socialisation: Making Friends, Being Different

2 November 2018
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I’ve been thinking about how kids need to be able to trust us. Years ago, I used to frequently swap between the homeschooling methods, trying to find the perfect method of educating my kids. My children must have felt so unsettled, never knowing what to expect from me. They couldn’t trust me from one day to the next.
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A similar thing might happen when we start unschooling. Do our kids believe us when we say such things as “You can use the computer for as long as you like”? Perhaps they detect the reluctance beneath our words and don’t trust us.
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I asked my teenage daughter Sophie about trust. How can a parent build up a relationship of trust with a child? She said we can’t trust someone if we don’t know them very well. We need to let our kids get to know us properly. Perhaps we never think about this and just assume parents and children know each other naturally.
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It’s important for us to share what we’re interested in, what’s important to us, have real conversations and not interrogations. Share our dreams and our hopes. Admit our mistakes. Let our kids see the real us. Let them help us. Let them get close. Because sometimes we’re so concerned about being good parents and seeing to the needs of our kids that we hide who we really are.
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This is my daughter Sophie. It’s obvious I didn’t take this photo close to where we live because there are no beautiful gum trees! Sophie is standing in the middle of Sydney. She’s taking photos of the people walking past. So many interesting people! Do you ever stop and watch the people walking past?

1 November 2018
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At the moment, I’m writing about connection. Connection is at the heart of an unschooling life. But how do we connect with our kids?
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Is connection about building up close bonds between us and our children by listening, having empathy, respecting, loving unconditionally and accepting, spending time with our kids, giving them our full attention, working together, forgiving and apologising…? Or is there something else? I’d love to hear what you think connection is all about. How do you connect with your kids? Please share!
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When I googled connecting with kids, I discovered lots of articles such as this one: ‘30 Joyful Ways to Connect with your Child in 10 Minutes.’ So glad we don’t have to squeeze connection into 10 minutes periods!
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This is my daughter Gemma-Rose and husband, Andy. I think they are very closely connected!