difficult times

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How Kids Need Something Better Than Perfect Lives

If it were possible, would you give your kids a perfect life? Or do they need something better? Sitting on my faded blue chair in our back garden, clad in my pjs, at 7 o’clock this morning, savouring the relatively cool air that has now disappeared, I thought about how we put so much effort into trying to give our kids a perfect life. We want to bring them up…
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When Our Unschooling Days Turn Grey

Life has felt grey for a while. The fog of tiredness hangs over me, trapping me in my own isolated world. Occasionally, after a reasonable sleep, the grey recedes, revealing bright delights and joys, and I think about how blessed I am to be living my life. My spirits lift. I rejoin the bigger world, thinking about how I can contribute to it. But on the whole, the fog swirls…
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Unschooling: Coping With the Unexpected

I used to think I could control my life. To achieve a perfect life, all I had to do was organise everything well, including my kids. What is a perfect life? My perfect life vision included a graduated row of good-looking and well-behaved children. I wanted people to admire my family and home, saying, “Sue is such a good mother! Have you seen her home? It’s spotless. How does Sue…
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Is It Working? Wrestling with Doubt in Unschooling

A grey day arrives that completely blots out the memory of all the preceding good days. We feel overwhelmed, tired, worried and lost. We wonder why we ever decided to unschool. A puddle of doubt about unschooling forms around us. What do we do? Cecilie, Sandra and I are discussing unschooling doubts and sharing our experiences in episode 10 of The Ladies Fixing the World podcast. We enjoyed chatting. We…
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What if Our Unschooled Kids Complain or Reject Everything We Hold Dear?

I took my blog offline to fix a few technical problems, but at the back of my mind was a question: Have I had enough of blogging? Maybe I should keep my blog hidden permanently from public view. Perhaps it’s time to become an ex-unschooling blogger. Contemplating retirement as a blogger is nothing new. I’ve done this a few times over the past 14 years or so. But this time,…
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How to Respond to ‘Unlovable’ Kids and Cats

Poppy died, and I cried despite not liking the cat. Poppy was a grumpy animal. She was messy and unkempt, preferring not to groom herself. An unpleasant odour followed her wherever she went. We bathed the cat, clipped her long fur, and sprinkled deodoriser all over her body, trying to make her an acceptable family member. She protested. Poppy died, and we no longer have to deal with a messy,…
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Does Love Keep You Awake While Others Sleep?

Lying in bed, trying to conquer insomnia, I noticed bright intermittent flashes of light illuminating the night sky. I slid from under the quilt, padded to the living room, and peered out the window, trying to locate the source of the light. White, blue, and green electric balls of light, accompanied by loud bangs, were exploding from the power line strung high on the other side of our road. Showers…
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Ordinary Frida Kahlo Eyebrow Days

Quinn barked, alerting me to the policeman striding along the path towards our house. After securing the dog, I opened the front door, my heart racing, my hands shaking, thinking, “The police only make house calls when they’ve bad news to share.” “Have you seen any strangers lurking recently?” the officer asked. “Your neighbour reported some broken windows.” My heart rate slowed as I realised the man was talking about…
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Do You Need a Happy List?

I’m at a cafe with my pretend friend Amina, who places her mug of coffee on the table between us, sighs and says, “Unschooling doesn’t guarantee our kids won’t have challenges in life, does it?” “I wish it did,” I reply. “Oh, yes, wouldn’t it be good if our kids sailed through life feeling happy all the time?” “We’ve all got to face difficulties,” I say, “including our kids.” It’s…
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Unschooling: Doing What Is Right

Unschooling is the right thing to do. That’s a bold claim that you might challenge if your ideas about what’s right are different from mine. What if my right is your wrong? Is that the end of the conversation? Or could we agree that we must all decide what’s right for our families, and then live by those principles? Knowing what is right helps us when we’re tempted to doubt…
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Is Unconditional Love at the Heart of Unschooling?

Recently, while travelling to town with two of my daughters, we talked about unschooling and how it’s impossible to say to another family, “Unschool in the same way as us.” Each family is different. Kids have their unique needs based on their personalities, interests and missions in life. And families have different circumstances such as number of children, health, commitments and responsibilities. Even the place where a family lives affects…
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