love

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Why We Should Freely Choose to Do Difficult and Unpleasant Things

Let’s be realistic: no one will freely choose to do what’s difficult and unpleasant, will they? A mother once told me this is exactly what she believed: “My kids won’t do things like chores unless I force them.” I asked how she knew that, and she replied, “Because I know myself. I’m lazy. I often avoid doing things that are not pleasant.” I understood what the woman was saying. We…
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Why Parents Should Help with the Family Chores

When I was at school, my friend Beatrix never had to do any chores. She didn’t have to wash dishes, clean bathrooms, or sweep floors. I wonder if she had to clean her bedroom. Beatrix’s mother said that once she was grown up and had a home of her own, she’d have to do all the chores. She wouldn’t have a choice. For now, she needn’t do any.  I don’t…
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The Discomfort of Letting Go and Allowing Our Kids (and Ourselves) to Grow

We organise life so we’re not challenged too much. We don’t want to stray outside our comfort zone because that could be painful. We say no instead of yes to our kids, not wanting them to go to parties at night, ride their bikes on the road, run through the bush alone, or learn to drive. We don’t want thoughts of danger to torment our minds. We don’t want to…
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What if Our Unschooled Kids Complain or Reject Everything We Hold Dear?

I took my blog offline to fix a few technical problems, but at the back of my mind was a question: Have I had enough of blogging? Maybe I should keep my blog hidden permanently from public view. Perhaps it’s time to become an ex-unschooling blogger. Contemplating retirement as a blogger is nothing new. I’ve done this a few times over the past 14 years or so. But this time,…
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Irreplaceable Unschool Dogs and Kids

People often have favourite breeds of dogs, don’t they? Maybe they love greyhounds like a couple living in a nearby town who dress their trio of thin dogs in bright-striped pyjamas to keep them warm on below-zero days. Or they might be dachshund people like a woman I recently heard about who runs with her short-legged friend tucked under her arm. People often decide to replace their dogs with one…
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How to Write a Million Unschool Love Stories

I used to think the defining word of unschooling was freedom. Freedom attracted me. I wanted to be free to do whatever I liked. I wanted to get up each day and do anything or nothing at all. But I soon realised there’s a problem with freedom. If we always do whatever we like, won’t we become self-centred? Thinking only of ourselves won’t lead to happiness because we were made…
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Reflecting Badly On Our Family

Andy and I take Nora and Quinn to the vet for their annual checkups. We wonder if our dogs are the correct weight for their size. Are their coats clean and shiny? Do they look happy and well cared for? The vet says our pets are magnificent. We swell with pride. We passed the test. Our dogs are an excellent reflection of us. But are our kids excellent reflections of…
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When Our Kids Are Wired Differently

Amina lowers her voice. “I don’t like to admit this, but one day I said, ‘Harry, can’t you do as I want for once? Can’t you be nice to me just for one day?’ Harry looked confused. Be nice to me? I don’t think he deliberately tried to upset me. He was just being himself. Wasn’t that okay? – Amina, my pretend friend Do you have ‘different’ kids? Have you…
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When We Don’t Know What to Do

I’ve just updated my blog. I started at the first post I ever wrote and then worked my way through 14 years of stories, reading each one before deciding whether to keep it or revert it to draft. I then checked the formatting of the retained posts, rearranging paragraphs, eliminating dead links, and changing or improving the images. As I worked on my blog, rereading the posts, I slowly moved…
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