4 March 2013

With So Much Freedom, Will an Unschooler Choose to be Lazy?


If a child is given the freedom to choose what she wants to do every day, isn’t there a risk she will choose to be lazy and not do anything at all? Or maybe she will decide to do what is easy, rather than what is challenging…

While we were driving to town this morning, I asked the girls if they’d brought along some books they could read, while waiting their turn to have their piano lessons.

“I’ve got Les Miserables,” said fifteen year old Charlotte.

“Are you still reading that?” I asked.

“I know I’m going slowly but I’m making progress. I’m definitely going to finish it.” Then Charlotte added, “But I can’t say it’s one of my favourite books. The action keeps getting interrupted by long passages of history. I have read so much about the French Revolution.”

“It sounds like Les Mis is the ultimate info-dump novel,” observed Imogen.

“Info-dump?” I asked.

“In novel writing, information can be given as part of the story, or it can be dumped in large chunks between passages of action.”

“All that French Revolution stuff sure slows down the pace of the novel. I guess it’s a good way to learn history but I decided to read
the book for the story,” said Charlotte. “It really is hard work persisting sometimes.”

“Are you tempted to give up?” I asked.

“No. I chose to read the book and I’m going to finish what I started. I want to say, ‘I read Les Miserables,’” said Charlotte. “I’ve also promised myself that when I get to the end of the novel, I will watch the film version. I’m looking forward to that.”

“And the stage version,” said Imogen. “That should be good as well.”

I told the girls that Victor Hugo also wrote The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but I couldn’t tempt Charlotte with this novel, at least not in the near future. “I think I will read something different next. How about another Charles Dickens, Immy?”

“That sounds good. Which one? Nicholas Nickleby?”

The girls have set themselves the goal to read every single Charles Dickens novel. I guess they will.

I have never read any of Victor Hugo’s novels. I did start The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but after a chapter or two, I lost interest. I have never even considered reading Les Miserables,  unlike Charlotte. The girls are doing much better than me with Charles Dickens too. I’ve been reading Bleak House for what seems like years (but I’m going to finish it!) Imogen and Charlotte finished that novel a long time ago. Just imagine if we adults had to do everything we’d like our children to do… Would I be able to keep up? I doubt it very much.

It seems to me that if unschoolers were lazy they wouldn’t voluntarily attempt to read such challenging literature as Les Miserables. And sometimes they even choose to persevere when the going gets tough.

Now I know not all unschoolers enjoy literature. This is only an example. Callum, a former unschooler, isn’t doing any reading at the moment except car manuals. But you should see him under the bonnet of a car, working out how to fix various problems. In his spare time, he isn’t sitting back doing nothing. He is busy learning new things. His energy, and determination and ability to work things out, impress me. He definitely enjoys a challenge, which is just as well because as he solves one problem, he discovers another, and another…

I have just remembered: Callum did choose to read a number of classic novels. Amongst other books, he decided to read a number of Alexandre Dumas novels a few years ago, and he enjoyed them…

Do unschoolers choose to be lazy? Are they inclined to take the easy option rather than the challenging? Not in my experience.

READ  Suzie Andres Chats about Unschooling

I don’t think my children are unique. I’m sure you all have similar stories to tell.

Has anyone seen either the film or stage version of Les Miserables? Did you read the book version first? Or maybe you’re inspired to read it now. It’s available as a free ebook if anyone feels like taking up the challenge!


Sue Elvis

I'm an Australian blogger, podcaster, and Youtuber. I write and speak about unschooling, parenting and family life. I'm also the author of the unschooling books 'Curious Unschoolers', 'Radical Unschool Love' and ‘The Unschool Challenge’. You'll find them on Amazon!

10 Comments

  1. You are a great example of unschooling at its very best, Sue:-)

    It's so good that you share how you do it because I think that people often think that unstructured means doing nothing and being lazy, but unschooling is much more proactive than that, isn't it?

    Thanks for another inspiring post – I've been wanting to read Charles Dickens for so long now but I've been too lazy!

    God bless:-)

    • Vicky,

      Yes, unschooling is wrongly perceived by many to be the lazy way of homeschooling. Maybe that is why many unschoolers don't even want to admit they are homeschooling in this manner. They might want to avoid possible criticism. I have read quite a few articles online warning parents against unschooling. But the warnings are not needed at all. As you said, unschooling is proactive, not passive. I think both parents and children work very hard.

      I have been thinking about an unschooler's motivation to work. Could a love of learning account for that?

      I love Charles Dickens! But I find I need to concentrate carefully when I read his novels otherwise I miss the richness of his language and all the complicated plot details. Perhaps you are not lazy at all, but rather you haven't enough of the long stretches of quiet time needed to read these books properly. Now if we are talking about me… that's different. I have lots of opportunity but sadly I don't make persistent effort! Now if only I had been unschooled as a child…

      God bless!

  2. Hi Mum!

    I've been reading your blogs regularly, and I realised I never comment. I don't know if that's good or bad. Maybe you don't want your opinionated guinea pig girl disturbing your conversations with experienced bloggers and mums!

    This is terrible, but I would like to derail your comments for a moment to ask which one of my gorgeous sisters drew your new header? It is simultaneously one of the most beautiful and funniest things I have ever seen, and I keep coming back to your page just to take in more details!

    I was wondering if my sister-artist would mind if I put her artwork on my Facebook for my friends to admire – I don't mind if she isn't ok with that, but I did want her to know how much I love her art!

    I love you too, Mum! I will ring soon. xx

  3. Felicity,

    It is wonderful to see your comment! You are always welcome to stop and say hello and add your opinion!

    Sophie drew the header picture. I'm glad you like it. Do you like the boxes and stool? You can see them in the picture at the bottom of my post. I am sure Sophie won't mind if you share her picture. Post away!
    I love you too! xx

  4. I haven't really talked about literary terms too often with my children. Then one day, my thirteen year old son says, "This book I am currently reading was written in the first person – I like that better. Often, science fiction is written in the third person." I was surprised to say the least!

    I do worry about my thirteen year old not keeping busy. I think it is a perception issue. He reads all day long – books and magazines. However, the magazines are sometimes the more popular types. However, I think he learns a lot from them. He reads Popular Science, Popular Mechanics, Wired, and Nuts and Volts. I think these are his textbooks in a way like your son's car manuals are his textbooks 🙂

    Gina

    • Gina,

      Don't you just love those moments? Children learn so much without us realising. I think when they pick up facts like this, they mean more because they are relating them to their own experience.

      I bet your son knows so much! I love seeing children immersed in their passions. It's really exciting seeing them learning something they enjoy. And seeing them learn things I have no idea about!

      It sounds like your son is doing lots of reading. Science fiction, all those science magazines… the book written in the 1st person… If children are reading, they are learning.

      Thank you for your comment!

  5. Sue,

    I haven't read the book Les Miserables, but I have watched the movie musical and I think it was absolutely beautiful! The singing was so magical I just burst into a flood of tears! There are some scenes in the movie that are not be suitable for younger children, but I highly recommend it for more mature audiences.

    God Bless,
    -Gemma

    • Gemma,

      We have the musical version of Les Mis but we haven't viewed it yet. After your recommendation, I think it's time we hunted our copy out and watch it! Sounds wonderful. I'll watch out for those mature scenes! Thank you for your comment.

  6. I agree– Hugo does a LOT of “info-dumping.” I often thought, while listening to one of his novels in audiobook form, “Hugo was a genius, but he REALLY needed a good editor!” I remember skipping over the abridged versions of his books, but after listening to–er, TRYING to listen to– the unabridged version of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” I had the SAME experience you did. 2 chapters with no real plot development?! lol! So I embraced an abridged version of the audiobook and was glad I did. lol!

    I definitely don’t see laziness with your children, but I am concerned about transitioning to unschooling NOW, when my children are so used to “traditional school.” We have homeschooled, but with very traditional school curriculum… I managed to homeschool my girls, who joined our family 5 years ago. The 3 years of homeschooling them was very hard for all of us. And SO different from my experience homeschooling my son, who has been with us since his birth and was in a public homeschool blended program since Kindergarten. So the girls went to public school for the last 2 years so that we could restore some of our fractured relationship…

    I am not sure how to get them going in this very different process… I have a 12 year old self-starter/over-achiever, but then 2 under-achievers, aged 14 (my son) and almost 11. My youngest has dyslexia and some other challenges with learning. She would rather just ignore school all together.

    I don’t know how to begin. And wonder if I’m ready to “wait it out,” as it may take a while before I see fruit… before they really start to direct their own learning…
    Add to this, a move to a totally new city and climate… with the family taking on a restaurant. This could be a perfect opportunity to begin something new… or it could be the worst time to try it. I doubt myself. What if I don’t have the time to gather things to “strew”? What if Nathan NEVER articulates what he actually wants to do? His answers are so non-commital, but generally somehow “computer-oriented…” What if Kaitlin realized just how much math and science is involved in cooking and gets discouraged? But what if she gets motivated and wraps her head around it? What if my over-achiever, Emma, gets worried about not doing enough? Not keeping up with peers?
    Would my husband ever agree to unschooling, as it would take a lot of effort on my part and he wants me to help with the business?
    But… truly… I do fear that my kids will take the unschooling opportunity as a chance to do NOTHING and be lazy… or at least do the bare minimum.
    Is it too late for me to start unschooling with them? Have I created little dependent kids who wouldn’t choose to really seek great information, but would rather watch a mindless tv show or play a video game?
    Lord, help me to know what to do…

    • Mamabear,

      Thank you for your comment. I’m sorry I’m slow at replying. Sometimes it can help to write down our thoughts and questions, can’t it? Try and sort things out. Yes, it’s hard sometimes to know what to do. Sometimes there isn’t an easy answer, but maybe questioning will help us decide what we want most for our families.

      It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life at the moment. Could this be a bad time to start something new? Or might this be a perfect time to go with the flow and just see what happens? Will your life be so rich with learning experiences that you won’t need to think much about strewing? Could a new home in a new area and a restaurant business offer learning opportunities that conventional homeschooling is lacking?

      Maybe the thing you are most concerned about is motivation. Will your kids choose to be lazy if they aren’t forced to work? Yes, you are right: it sometimes does take time for kids to adjust and start directing their own learning. But is it worth having a deschooling period and riding it out? There could be lots of benefits to having a time where there isn’t any pressure to do certain things. We can rediscover what’s important, rest, talk and listen to each other, watch movies and play games, laugh, just enjoy being with each other.

      Is it too late to begin unschooling? Oh no! Unschooling kids have the time and opportunity to discover who they are and what they’re interested in. That’s important, isn’t it? It’s never too late to give that opportunity to our kids. But yes, what if they aren’t interested in anything and do nothing? Kids might need pushing. Except that parents and teachers won’t always be around to push them to learn. Could it be good for a child to be given the opportunity to gain motivation to direct his own learning? A love of learning will last a lifetime. Kids might not dive into learning straightaway. But I think they will eventually regain their curiosity when they are no longer fulfilling other people’s expectations.

      Unschooling might look like a risky thing to do. Could it be better to stick to what you know? How will life be if you continue along the same pathway? Will you all be happy? Or is it worth facing the doubts and at least trying something new? Whatever choices we make, I think there are times when we all question our decisions. Working out what’s best for our families isn’t easy. But what if we give ourselves time? If you don’t feel ready to embrace unschooling, you could try a step by step approach. Change one thing that’s not working. Introduce one new idea. Read. Ponder. Go slowly. Build up trust. See what happens.

      I do hope you can make a decision that fills you with peace.

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