Can Unschooling Be a Christian Thing to Do?

When a child has been controlled all her life, she just might grow into the kind of adult who says, “Nobody is ever going to make me do what they want ever again. From now on I’m going to do what I want.”

She might close herself off, stand well back, not let anyone get too close. Because you never know what other people might want her to do. Even someone she declares she loves.

“If you think I’m going to iron those shirts for you, you’re wrong! You can do them yourself.”

And it’s not just physical work she will refuse to do for someone else. She’ll keep a guard on her emotions too. She might grow into a prickly independent person, not trusting, suspicious of any overtures of real love.

“I can do that for myself! I don’t need anyone!”

She’ll want to be the one in control.

How can there ever be real love when there is control? We were all born free and we all have great dignity which should be respected. I don’t think we have the right to control anyone. 

Real love is all about giving ourselves freely to other people, without counting the cost to ourselves, without expecting something back. No one has to make us do what is right. We choose to do it.

I want my children to grow up to be loving and giving. I don’t want them to be concerned only with themselves, not willing to reach out to others. But I can’t make them into that kind of person, by force.

I have to give my children the freedom to choose and in so doing, I give them the opportunity to give freely of themselves.

Sometimes people question whether unschooling is a Christian thing to do. Isn’t it irresponsible? Surely all that freedom will make children self-centred and concerned only for themselves? We should tighten up, do our parental duty properly, instead of taking the easy way out. 

But what could be more Christian than respecting another person and loving them freely? And what could be more difficult? Because our children will only learn what true love is really all about, by observing our own example of self-giving.

I think unschooling is totally in line with the Christian way of life. Not everyone who unschools is a Christian. But every Christian can unschool.

For us, it starts with our faith. We’re not Christians who have chosen to unschool. We unschool because we’re Christians.