Talking with a friend about our motivation to do what God commands, we agreed it’s better to be motivated by love for God than by fear of losing our salvation.
Our conversation moved from God to kids. Is it better for our kids to be motivated to do what is right by love or by fear? Should we punish them so that they learn never to do what is wrong? Or do we hope they’ll choose right because of love?
Again, we agreed that we are all called to love. But maybe my friend had some doubts about the effectiveness of love when parenting. It sounds good, but does it work in practice?
It’s difficult to stand firm and punish a child. Punishment doesn’t feel good for anyone. It causes our hearts pain. But do we need to do it anyway for our children's good? If we choose love, are we being soft? Are we choosing to do what is easy?
When we talk about parenting with love, do we give the impression that loving a child means nothing more than saying, “I love you”? Could it be seen as taking the path of least resistance by giving in and keeping everyone happy? Are we weak parents? Perhaps we need to stand firm, do unpopular things, be unpopular, and punish our kids when they don’t behave as we think they should.
Or is there far more to love than that?
Choosing love isn’t choosing the easy path. In fact, there is nothing more difficult than love.
“Love isn’t about letting our kids do whatever they like to keep the peace,” I said to my friend. She agreed, but maybe she thought we’d returned to the topic of punishment, because how can we guide our kids without it? Love can’t teach our kids right from wrong. Or maybe it can.
Could love be powerful? Can it change us, our kids, and the world?
