Discouraged
I’m feeling discouraged.
I wonder: why am I doing this? Why am I blogging and podcasting? I know the answer: I want to spread the word about unschooling. I want to pass on what I’ve learnt. Tell others about the joys of living this way of life. I especially want to give hope to families who are struggling with homeschooling and parenting. There’s a better way.
But am I sharing the unschooling message successfully? Sometimes it’s hard to know.
The other day, my husband Andy was online, checking our bank balance. I asked him to look at my book sales.
“How much money have I earned?”
“Not much.”
That news was discouraging. Why haven’t I sold many copies of my books Curious Unschoolers and Radical Unschool Love?
I believe in my books. They’re well written. They are stories about real people which show unschooling in action. I share my thought processes. I invite the reader to ponder with me. All my reviews have been excellent. But there aren’t that many of them. I wonder why.
Why aren’t my unschooling books a huge success? Why aren’t I successful?
Is it important that we feel successful? Yes.
Sometimes people say that even if only one person is helped by our work, then we’ve been successful. Also, we’ll never know all the people we have helped. That’s true. But it’s no longer enough. There is already enough info on my blog to help anyone who stops by. If I continue on, I want to feel successful for my own sake. I want to know I’m spending my time in a useful way. That what I’m doing is making a difference.
Apart from personal satisfaction, there’s a very practical reason why I need success. Sadly, it’s all to do with money. It’s expensive to blog and podcast. Equipment, software, hosting fees and other things that are needed cost money. I’ve spent a lot of money over the years, family money which my husband Andy earns. Andy has never complained about having to support my unschooling work financially. But it’s bothering me. I’ve got to the stage where I really need to cover my costs.
You might remember that last year I tried using Patreon to support my podcast. Although a few people became patrons – I’m very grateful for their generosity – this wasn’t one of my more successful ideas. Not many people were willing to pledge even a dollar a month. Is my podcast not worth supporting? Is it not worth a dollar a month? Or is it not realistic to ask for money for something that can be listened to for free?
Last year, I did a blog/podcast survey and a few people commented that they didn’t feel able to become Patreon patrons, but they’d be happy to buy a copy of my book when it was published. I was pleased to hear this. I thought that if everyone I’d helped bought a copy of one of my books, I’d have no trouble meeting my blogging and podcasting costs.
But as I said, book sales are down. The initial interest in Curious Unschoolers and RadicalUnschool Love has trickled away. I’m back to the question: why? Is it just about money?
Reading blog posts is free. Asking questions that I might be able to answer is free. Buying a book isn’t.
Perhaps I’m just not promoting my books enough? Even though I’ve written and spoken about them a lot, could I be on the wrong platform? Maybe I need to use social media. Should I return to Instagram? I could give in. Go where everyone else is. Have a bigger online presence.
The other day, despite saying I was going to delete my Instagram account, I signed into my account and posted a photo. And I got a huge welcome back. There are so many beautiful and encouraging people on Instagram. Many of them liked my photo and left comments. We had a proper conversation! And I thought, yes, I’ve made the right decision. This is where I need to be.
The next day, feeling encouraged by my Instagram success, I posted a second photo. But this time, there was little interest. Was it Instagram’s fault? Perhaps few of my followers had seen my post. Or was it my fault? Maybe what I’d posted wasn’t worthy of liking. There are some hugely popular unschoolers on Instagram so I concluded that the problem lies with me. Either I’m not saying anything very interesting or I’m not playing the algorithm game very well. Perhaps I need to use Instagram Stories or do live videos. Or maybe not. That’s a huge price for someone like me to pay.
I know I’ve helped a lot of people. I’ve received loads of kind messages and comments thanking me for what I do. I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made because of unschooling. I don’t want to wave all that away and say no one appreciates what I do. Because that’s not true.
Being honest about what I’m thinking and feeling is risky. Perhaps people will think I’m complaining and ungrateful. Haven’t I noticed the kind reviews on Amazon of my books? They took time and effort to write. And how about the posts about my books on Instagram? And what about the comments full of enthusiasm and thanks for what I do? Yes, I have some wonderfully supportive friends. I couldn’t have come so far without them. They have helped me do any good work I have accomplished.
I know I’m going to end up feeling bad about this post. That’s how I felt when I announced I was no longer going to write email newsletters because of a lack of interest. I got discouraged because hardly anyone was opening the emails that had taken me a long time to write. I didn’t know if the newsletters were helpful because I rarely received any feedback about them. So I wrote my final newsletter and said I felt discouraged and defeated. Some kind readers replied thanking me for the newsletters and said they’d miss them, but they understood why I was no longer going to produce them. But after reading some of the other responses to my newsletter, I felt bad. I shouldn’t have complained. People get busy. There’s not always time to read emails, let alone respond to them. I was expecting too much. Keep writing, they said. But I didn’t.
When we blog or podcast, we freely offer our content to whoever wants to read or listen. There’s no obligation on anyone to give anything back. That’s just the nature of the game. I accept that. I knew that when I set out on this adventure many years ago. But I have received something back. I’ve been rewarded by the many friendships I’ve made because of sharing unschooling. And I’ve enjoyed the learning experiences that blogging and podcasting have presented. It’s been fun. But maybe that fun has drained away. Because if I still enjoyed doing this, wouldn’t I look at my unschooling work as a hobby, something worth paying for myself? It wouldn’t matter if anyone bought my books or not. I’d just continue on.
So maybe the answer isn’t trying to persuade more people to support me. You could check out my books! I’d appreciate a review if you liked my books! Could you please share the link? Could it just be time to let go of what I’ve been doing and move on? I’m not sure. I guess I’ll keep thinking about it. I’ll work it out.
These are just some of the thoughts that I shared in this week’s podcast: Discouraged.
In episode 164, I’m talking about:
How I’m feeling discouraged
The need to feel successful
A negative comment I received about technology and screentime
Letting go and moving on
I also share a story from my book, Radical Unschool Love, called The Beginning and End of Praise.
Is it okay to praise our kids? Could praise be necessary, not only for our children but for us as well?
Show Notes
My Unschooling Books
Curious Unschoolers: paperback
Radical Unschool Love: paperback
Blog posts
A Gradual Approach to Unschooling
Is it Really Okay to Give Unschooling Kids Unlimited Access to Screens and the Internet?
Podcast
Episode 162: Asking for Help
Photos
My husband Andy always supports everything I do. He’s my number one fan. I’ve used these photos before. (You might have seen them on Unschoolgram or Instagram.) But I’m using them again because, for some strange reason, my computer is refusing to upload some new photos.
Thank you
Thank you for reading my post and listening to this week’s podcast. Please feel welcome to stop by and comment on anything I said. Have you ever felt discouraged with what you’re doing? Do you have family and friends who support your work? Perhaps you’d just like to say hello!