How to Help Our Kids With Their Career Choices
I sit in front of the basin in the salon while Gemma-Rose washes my hair. She massages my head while the chair massages my body. I enjoy this relaxing time and think about how life has changed.
I washed my daughter’s hair many times as she grew up, but this is the first time she has ever washed mine. It’s a strange feeling to be cared for by a child instead of caring for her.
Last week, I volunteered to be a hair model for Gemma-Rose, who is coming to the end of the second year of her three-year hairdressing apprenticeship. My daughter was initially reluctant to touch my hair: “You’re fussy about your hair, Mum. What if I mess it up?”
I told Gemma-Rose I trusted her to do a good job. I’ve seen her do excellent work for other people. But even if my hair turned out differently than I envisioned, I didn’t care. I was feeling adventurous. And I wanted to help my daughter by lending her my head.
So, last Monday, I accompanied Gemma-Rose to the salon, where she treated me like a valued client. After a consultation, she applied highlights, carefully placing copper, copper/copper, and gold foils in my hair to blend in with my natural red and ageing silver strands. Then, Gemma-Rose washed, cut, and blow-dried my hair. When I emerged from the salon, I felt magnificent. My daughter had given me a perfect haircut. I floated home with a grin on my face.
I saw a video recently in which a young girl told her mother she was going to be a hairdresser when she grew up. The mother replied, “You will NOT become a hairdresser!” End of story.
In a way, I understand the mother’s reaction. She wanted her daughter to go to university so she would have more career opportunities. A job in a local hair salon, handing out old copies of women’s and home decorator magazines, and chatting about the royals while snipping hair doesn’t sound very important, does it? Could anyone do it? Perhaps that’s what the mother assumed.
But I think she was wrong. Things have changed. A university degree isn’t as crucial as it used to be. Some people are deciding not to get into massive debt to obtain one. They’re turning in different directions, free to use their talents in whatever way attracts them.
Gemma-Rose and I chatted about her decision not to go to university like some of her siblings. She could have gained an impressive tertiary education. She would easily have met the entrance requirements and coped with the coursework. But that’s not what Gemma-Rose wanted to do.
Gemma-Rose worked as a barista and cafe cook for a while to earn money and think about the next stage of her life. Then, one day, she expressed an interest in hairdressing and wanted to know how to get an apprenticeship. I suggested she put together a résumé, listing her work experience and the skills she had gained, including the hairdressing ones she’d taught herself. Then, Gemma-Rose approached several salon managers. She strode confidently through doors, smiled, introduced herself, and asked if there were any apprenticeship vacancies. Within days, Gemma-Rose had several offers.
I’ve thought a lot about hairdressers and have come to the conclusion that they make a huge difference to our lives.
They make us presentable so we feel good about ourselves. They’re an essential part of many important milestone functions, such as weddings and school formals.
Hairdressers are creative and skilful. Some enter haircutting, colouring and styling competitions, improving their skills, inventing new techniques. Hairdressers are needed for fashion shows and films.
Perhaps more importantly, hairdressers make a difference for those who are sick or older and unable to lift their arms to wash or style their hair.
They give their time and attention to anyone who might be lonely, who regard their trips to the salon as occasions to get out of the house and see people. They might keep up with the royal news so they can chat to their clients and make them feel valued.
Hairdressers fix problems that make us self-conscious, like thinning hair. They’re experts at disguising flaws that bring unwanted negative attention. They help us cope with ageing by assisting with our fading hair.
They fix our mistakes whenever we think we can do without them and apply the scissors to our locks, overestimating our talent and underestimating theirs.
And hairdressing can lead to business opportunities for capable people who have a vision and are willing to work hard.
There are many reasons why hairdressing is a valid career choice. But I don’t support Gemma-Rose’s decision to go into this industry because of them. I just want her to pursue something she loves.
Wouldn’t it be sad if our children chose their careers to please us and were unhappy? What if they go their own way, regardless of our opinions and then feel guilty if we express our own unhappiness? No one wins.
It’s much better to listen to our kids, take an interest, accept their choices and trust them. They need to know they have our support and we’re proud of them.
I think of the video mother. Did she not know that hairdressing is a secure career? We all discovered this during the covid years. There were many things we survived easily without during the lockdowns, but we definitely missed our haircuts. After six months of being confined to home, I ran to my hair appointment at top speed, eager for my stylist to erase the neglect I’d suffered. I needed her to put me back together. After I emerged from the salon, I grinned from ear to ear. I’d looked in the mirror and had seen myself again.
I’m grateful for my hairdresser. She’s one of my favourite people. I can’t do without her. How about you? Does your hairdresser play a crucial role in your life, too?
One last thought I’d share with that video mother who wanted her daughter to get nothing less than a university degree:
The success of many careers, even those that rely on a university education, often starts with a good haircut.
After a salon visit, I’m sure doctors, lawyers, politicians, and less obviously impressive mothers like me feel confident and ready to go into the world and tackle the work we are all called to do. All because someone took the time to apply their extensive talents to our hair.
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So, what do you think of my hair? Gemma-Rose did an excellent job, didn’t she? When she’s qualified, I’d like to become one of her clients. I just hope I can afford to pay the high-end salon fees. (Last week’s cut and foils were free.) Of course, I could ask Gemma-Rose to cut my hair at home, but I want to support and help her by becoming a proper client.
Helping our kids with the things they enjoy and have a talent for: that’s what we all want to do, isn’t it?