How Will We Know if We’ve Been Successful in Raising and Educating Our Kids?
Do you have good conversations with your kids while you’re driving? I do. My daughter Sophie and I have some wonderful discussions while I’m driving her to work.
Yesterday morning, on our way to town, Sophie was telling me about a homeschooling family she discovered on YouTube. All of the ten children in the family have done remarkable things at very young ages. One child graduated high school at 13. They all graduated from university, years ahead of their peers. They speak several languages and play multiple instruments and dance and do all kinds of other things.
After listing all the kids’ accomplishments, Sophie said, “I’m failing! I haven’t mastered even one musical instrument. I can’t speak a second language. I didn’t ‘graduate’ from high school. (Do unschoolers ever graduate?) I haven’t got a university degree…” Sophie was grinning so I don’t think she’s at all worried that she doesn’t have anything impressive to boast about like those remarkable YouTube kids.
I had some questions for Sophie: Were these children unschooled? Or was their education directed by their parents? Did they create their YouTube channel to inspire other families? Are they saying, “You too can have extraordinary kids”? Do they want to share their successful approach to education?
Sophie couldn’t answer my questions. She couldn’t even remember the name of the YouTube channel. She’d watched a video or two, gathered a few facts, and then she moved onto other things.
Our conversation ended when we arrived in town. Sophie went to work and I turned the car around and headed home. And as I drove, my thoughts moved from this YouTube family to success. How do we define success? Is success about academic achievement? Is it about developing talents? Becoming good and generous and loving people? Having the skills to earn lots of money?
How will we know if we’ve been successful in raising and educating our kids?
This morning, I found an email from the Global Homeschooling Summit in my inbox with the link to Imogen and Sophie’s interview: Unschooling from the perspective of a young adult.
My daughter Imogen had already told me she wasn’t going to watch her interview, but I was eager to see it. I was sure the girls had done a good job. And they had. They were passionate about unschooling and had a lot of good thoughts to share.
Later, I said to Imogen, “You said similar things to me!” (I was also interviewed for the Summit.) Our words matched. “I know why our stories were the same,” I said. “You’ve read my books!”
Imogen grinned and said, “We didn’t have to read your books, Mum, to know the right answers. We lived those stories!”
Towards the end of the interview, the girls were asked this question: “For parents who are afraid to take the leap into unschooling, what could you tell them?”
Imogen replied, “I could tell them that unschooling is the best decision… they could make for their family because the bonds you can grow between family members is enormous. And the amount of love for life and learning that you get from the freedom is amazing. Unschooling, in my opinion, is one of the best ways to learn about yourself and to learn the skills that you need to go through life, in general, because you will learn to be self-motivated, to follow your passions, to follow what you’re interested in rather than going with the crowd, and to be confident about your own decisions.”
And Sophie added, “And it will build a stronger relationship with your children than you could ever believe.”
After listening to my girls’ words, my thoughts returned to the question: how will we know if we’ve been successful in raising and educating our kids?
Perhaps these are signs of success:
Our kids are closely connected to us.
They love life and learning.
They’re well on their way to knowing themselves because they’ve had time to explore and experiment and express their opinions.
They have confidence and won’t be swayed by the crowd.
They’re using their talents to do things that will make a difference as well as bring them joy.
They know about love, kindness, generosity, self-sacrifice, and compassion.
What do you think? Are these things important? What else can we add to the list?
Perhaps success is all about our kids striving to become the people they are meant to be.
Here’s a very short clip from Imogen and Sophie’s interview:
If you signed up for the Summit, maybe you’ll want to watch the whole interview.
Photos
I took these photos on a recent outing to the river. Of course, the girls are holding my bookCurious Unschoolers. They kept reading bits of it out while I was taking photos. This was a bit disconcerting. “You don’t have to read the book,” I said. “Just look like you’re reading it. Look like the book is very interesting!”
Is my book interesting? I hope so. Have you read it? And have you taken a look at my latest book Radical Unschool Love? I’m hoping my books will be a big success because I want as many people as possible to hear about unschooling!
Update
If you’d like to watch the full video of Imogen and Sophie’s Global Summit interview, here it is!