Reject What Doesn't Feel Right and Just Love
If it doesn’t feel right, we shouldn’t do it.
For example:
I used to battle with my kids as I tried to get them to do what I thought was important. Yes, they protested, but I had to persist. I had to teach my children the right lessons. Life is tough. We have to do things we don’t want to do, don’t we?
So I pushed my kids to do their ‘schoolwork’ and other things that I thought were good for them. I answered “Why do we have to do this?” with “Because I said so.” I was the adult and my kids were the children so I knew better than them what they needed. Or so I thought.
But I discovered two problems with battling with my kids. Firstly, I wasted time and effort making my kids do things that weren’t important or relevant to them. I’d been more concerned with other people’s opinions and expectations than the needs of my kids.
And secondly, forcing my kids to do these things involved me being harsh and unkind. Oh yes, I used to yell and argue and threaten and get all hot and bothered. My words caused pain to my kids. Our family wasn’t always a happy place.
I told myself that I had no choice. My kids wouldn’t listen to my polite requests. It was their fault that I got frustrated and had to use harsh words. If only they’d cooperate. I justified my unkindness. But deep inside me, I knew what I was doing wasn’t right.
It’s hard to listen to our instincts especially when there are many people around us telling us such things as:
“You have to be tough. Tough love, you know.”
“Kids won’t listen unless they know you’re the boss.”
“Yes, you might have battles, but you have to persevere because it’s your duty.”
But in the end, I ignored all this advice. Instead, I listened to my instincts and did what love commanded.
We don’t have to be unkind and tough. We don’t have to force kids to do things that other people say are good for them. If we want our children to grow and develop into the people they are designed to be all we have to do is love. We have to give our kids lots of love. The unconditional kind. Everything else will flow from there.
I guess that’s the main message of my new unschooling book Radical Unschool Love. Today, I’m hoping to upload the final manuscripts for the print and Kindle copies to Amazon. Very, very soon, we’re going to hit ‘publish’!
As I’ve been checking the proof copy of Radical Unschool Love, I’ve been enjoying my stories. I like them which is probably just as well because how can I expect other people to like them if I don’t?! But why do my stories make me smile? Is it because they are about my family? Probably. But there’s something else that’s making my heart feel warm and that’s love. I loved writing about love. I hope, that if you read my book, the love will flow off its pages and speak to your heart too.
So Radical Unschool Love is about love. But how have I written about it? What is between the covers of my book? Well, there are over 130 stories arranged into 21 sections including:
Radical unschooling
Connection
Rules
Trust
Respect
Love
Joy
Forgiveness
Babies and Toddlers
Teenagers and Young Adults
Chores
Food
Being Different
Parents
Difficult Days
Concerns
Our Values and Beliefs
Christian Unschooling
When a Child Finds Life Difficult
Photos
Together with my other children, Imogen and Sophie have taught me about love! I took these photos when we went to a nearby river on a book photo shoot outing. It looks like Sophie has found something interesting in my book Curious Unschoolers!
I guess it’s now time to get back to work. I have a book that’s waiting to be published!