When Unschooling Spills Over into Parenting

Some random thoughts about unschooling and parenting…

Sometimes I get the feeling most of the world thinks I’m a little strange. Whenever I post a parenting story I wonder if there are people out there thinking, “Wow! She’s a bit weird. She’s wrong too. Parenting like that would never work.”

I admit it. I’m weird. I know I have drifted into dangerous waters. It was quite okay when we were only unschooling as a method of education. That was weird enough. But should I have let our whole lives get taken over by the unschooling philosophy? Wouldn’t it have been easier to stay with the majority and do things like everyone else?

Yes, I think it would, but I can’t. The more I ponder unschooling, the more I realise it is a way of life, not a method of education. It’s not something we do because ‘it works’ and will give my children the best chance to get into university. No, unschooling is more than that. It’s about helping our children and ourselves become who we are intended to be, regardless of any university entrance requirement. It’s not something that is over and done with by the age of 18. Unschooling lasts a life time. It lasts all day, every day. And so of course, it spills over into parenting.

Who we are meant to be… I think that’s a key point. Normally homeschooling refers to the children. They are the ones who are getting an education. With unschooling I have found I need to be willing to do everything I want my children to do. I have to be an example. I have to try to become the person I was designed by God to be. I know most people are doing this. But what does this mean for me? It means I have to continue my own education by learning alongside my kids, as well as following my own passions. I must exercise and help with the chores, ask for forgiveness, and be forgiving… So many other things too. Sometimes I have to be willing to do things that are hard, that I don’t particularly want to do. That’s not always easy. It’s also not lazy.

Of course, unschooling isn’t understood by many people. I found it difficult to understand it myself for a long time. Maybe it’s something that needs to be experienced. And even then it’s a continual learning process. If you read my posts in order you will notice the steps in my thinking, the changes in our way of life.

Children will learn what they need to know when they need to know it.

I’m sure if you’re familiar with unschooling, you’ll have heard that before. I think it’s absolutely true whether we are talking about what most people refer to as ‘education’ or anything else in a child’s life.  I know many people would disagree. But that’s okay. I can live with that. I live with unschooled children. I have observed them.  I know them very well.

Trust, respect, unconditional love: the essential ingredients. Wouldn’t we all like to have these? But we are adults. Is it different for children? We love but can we afford to trust and respect? Maybe children aren’t capable of being trusted and respected. I think they are. But not everyone is like me. Some people aren’t able to let go enough to unschool. It’s not for them.

Unschooling is a different way of looking at things. But is different wrong? Are my parenting posts really full of strange ideas? Have my children turned out weird?

Yes, I admit it: they are weird. They’re not normal at all. They are themselves. And that’s just the way they are meant to be.

Image: A bunch of weird unschoolers