When We Don’t Know What to Do

I’ve just updated my blog. I started at the first post I ever wrote and then worked my way through 14 years of stories, reading each one before deciding whether to keep it or revert it to draft. I then checked the formatting of the retained posts, rearranging paragraphs, eliminating dead links, and changing or improving the images.

As I worked on my blog, rereading the posts, I slowly moved forward in time. When I created this blog, my youngest child was just old enough to be registered as a homeschooler. Now, she’s a young adult supporting herself.

Watching my kids grow up has been engaging, entertaining, thought-provoking, and gratitude-producing as I’ve moved from story to story.

I’ve relived days when our home overflowed with children, pets and possessions, and life was full and sometimes messy.

I’ve reread my children’s thoughts, ideas and hopes for their futures. Some of their dreams became reality. Other dreams changed along the way.

I’ve pondered my own ideas and noticed how I’ve changed since I first became a blogger. I used to be very tentative when expressing my thoughts, using words like ‘maybe’ and ‘perhaps’ often. I wanted to leave the door open in case someone came along and disagreed with me. If anyone challenged my opinions, I had my answer ready: “I’m talking about myfamily.” (That only happened once.) Gradually, my language changed as I grew in experience and confidence.

Occasionally, I found a post in my archive announcing my departure from blogging. “This is it. I can’t think of anything else to say, so I’m moving on,” I said a few times. “I’m off to do something else.” But I always returned before long. I snuck back to my blog, smiled sheepishly, and continued on. Maybe some readers got used to my goodbye posts, reading them and thinking, “She’ll be back!” Or perhaps they rolled their eyes and said, “Sue should make up her mind about what she wants to do. She’s very indecisive.”

Reading about such things as my podcast, blog post series, unschooling community, free and to-buy books, Zoom calls, Patreon, Buy Me a Coffee, collaboration and guest posts, I can see I have had a million big ideas over the years. I tried them out, and some worked, and some didn’t.

When I arrived at the last post, I thought about the overall story of my blog. If I add everything together to create one message, what would it be? Would I tell you that unschooling will result in a perfect life with kids and parents who never make mistakes? “Hey, look at my posts. Look at my kids! If you unschool, your life could be like ours.” No, I’d say, “Unschooling has its ups and downs. It’s not a perfect way of life. It won’t result in perfect people. But do it anyway. Why? Because it’s the right thing to do.”

I used to blog about such things as unschool maths, how to satisfy homeschooling requirements, my observations on how kids learn, and where to find interesting resources to strew. And though I occasionally return to those topics, my more recent stories revolve around unconditional love, which I discovered is at the heart of unschooling. Love is what our kids need. It’s what we all need. That’s why we’re unschoolers. It’s the reason I’ve continued blogging for so long.

When I’d finished updating my blog, I thought about the future. Now that I’ve organised my blog posts properly, is it time to announce that I’m finished yet again? Have I got to the end of the story? The real end this time. But what would I do instead of blogging about unschooling? I still have the same old problem: no clear idea of what I want to do next.

I wonder if I should resurrect my podcast by recording a new unschooling series. Or I could write a new series of blog posts. Or I could blog and podcast about the same topic. The words ‘One Unschooly Thing’ appear in my mind. What if I suggest one small thing per post that might add a touch of unschooling to people’s lives? It could be a step in an unschooling direction. The suggestion might also be appropriate for unschoolers stuck in a rut. Or anyone who needs a change from what they’re doing. I could add a story or two or links to archive or book stories. The posts could be similar to the challenges in my book, The Unschool Challenge.

I’m excited by this idea. It might work. But do I want to commit to it? Is it really what I want to do? I just don’t know.

Often, we want clear instructions, not just about blogging but, more importantly, how best to raise and educate our kids. We’re afraid. What if we make mistakes? What if our decisions disadvantage our kids? Wouldn’t it be good if a loud voice answered our prayers, telling us precisely what to do? But that’s probably never going to happen. So what do we do?

We can listen. Listen to our kids to discover who they are, their needs, their dreams, and what’s important to them. Listen to our hearts, which will tell us about essential things like love. And in the silence, away from distractions, listen to the soft and gentle voice of the Holy Spirit.

We could consider the options, pray, and then make what seems to be the best decision before striding out into the unknown, trusting that all will be well. Because we can’t stand still, can we? There’s only so much time we can waste. We need to move.

Who knows? Amazing things could happen if we have the courage to follow our hearts and what we know deep down is right.

So what will I do? What will you do?

Will we choose love?

Images

A random selection of photos from previous blog posts.

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