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How to Respond to ‘Unlovable’ Kids and Cats

Poppy died, and I cried despite not liking the cat. Poppy was a grumpy animal. She was messy and unkempt, preferring not to groom herself. An unpleasant odour followed her wherever she went. We bathed the cat, clipped her long fur, and sprinkled deodoriser all over her body, trying to make her an acceptable family member. She protested. Poppy died, and we no longer have to deal with a messy,…
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Love or Fear? What Guides Our Lives?

There are so many things we could fear. We might be too afraid to send our kids to school if we listen to the loud voices telling us how bad traditional education is. We might choose homeschooling because of that fear. If we decide to homeschool, we’re still not safe. Fears could follow us. We might be too afraid to trust our kids will learn all they need to know…
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Does Love Keep You Awake While Others Sleep?

Lying in bed, trying to conquer insomnia, I noticed bright intermittent flashes of light illuminating the night sky. I slid from under the quilt, padded to the living room, and peered out the window, trying to locate the source of the light. White, blue, and green electric balls of light, accompanied by loud bangs, were exploding from the power line strung high on the other side of our road. Showers…
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Do You Need a Happy List?

I’m at a cafe with my pretend friend Amina, who places her mug of coffee on the table between us, sighs and says, “Unschooling doesn’t guarantee our kids won’t have challenges in life, does it?” “I wish it did,” I reply. “Oh, yes, wouldn’t it be good if our kids sailed through life feeling happy all the time?” “We’ve all got to face difficulties,” I say, “including our kids.” It’s…
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Unschooling: Doing What Is Right

Unschooling is the right thing to do. That’s a bold claim that you might challenge if your ideas about what’s right are different from mine. What if my right is your wrong? Is that the end of the conversation? Or could we agree that we must all decide what’s right for our families, and then live by those principles? Knowing what is right helps us when we’re tempted to doubt…
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Preventing Childhood Trauma with Unconditional Love

Childhood trauma can follow us into adulthood, affecting what we do, how we feel about ourselves and how we relate to others. We can trace many of our adult problems back to something that happened as we were growing up. If we understand this, we’ll protect our kids, the best we can, from anything that might affect them adversely. But what about the trauma that's disguised as ‘good’ parenting techniques?…
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Could Unschooling Be Exactly What Teens Need to Do?

When unschooling children reach the teenage years, is it time for them to stop following their interests and do some serious structured work instead? If they continue to unschool, will they fail to gain enough knowledge to get into university? Do they need to learn how to write essays, complete assignments, meet deadlines and deal with exams? Do parents need to tighten the rules for teens? Perhaps they should restrict…
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