Recently, two of our daughters moved out of home, leaving behind two empty bedrooms, which my husband and I are turning into a study and a studio. For the first time ever, I will have my very own space where I can write, record audio and video, and join in with Zoom calls.
For many years, our home was crammed full of children, toys, books, pets, clothes and everything else a family gathers. My kids shared bedrooms, sleeping in bunk beds. They even shared beds, but that was a preference, not a necessity.
There was no room for a studio or a study.
Our kids have now all left home except for one daughter. And our house feels empty. Suddenly, we have lots of space.
As I’ve been rearranging our home, I’ve been thinking about those years when we lived in houses with ‘elastic walls’, somehow always fitting into whatever space was available.
Yesterday evening, three of our adult children came home for dinner. We gathered around the table and caught up with each other’s news.
“You can use your new studio when you join in with Friday’s unschooling Zoom interview,” said my daughter. “Won’t that be good?”
Yes, it’ll be wonderful. I’m going to enjoy my new work area.
But I don’t regret all those years when I didn’t have a place for myself, when we all lived close together, when life was a bit chaotic and messy, and when I didn’t even have my arms to myself. I had something much, much better than space: my family.
There is nothing more important than family. My heart overflows with love and gratitude as I think of my kids.
How to Prepare Our Kids for the Day When They Leave Home
Here’s a story I wrote when our daughter Sophie left home:
We shouldn’t throw away time by fighting with our children. Battling with them won’t pay off. Instead, we should work on our connections.
Will We Have Done Enough?
Will We Have Done Enough?When our kids leave home, will they be prepared for their independent lives? Will we have done enough?
Podcast Interviews
I’m getting together, via Zoom, with the Conrads on Friday for an interview. We will have our second conversation for their Self Directed podcast. I chatted with Jesper and Cecilie a few days ago and enjoyed our unschooling discussion immensely. If you haven’t already subscribed to the Conrads’ podcast, why not check it out? My first Self Directed interview will be published on April 25, 2024.
Images
My new studio doesn’t look like these images. Yes, I have a desk, chair, computer, microphone, lights and other technical equipment. I also have piles of books. But I don’t have any pictures or pot plants. I think I’ll have to get some to make my room look attractive. I want my studio to be a creative, artistic place that reflects my personality.
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What Do You Think?
Have any of your children left home? Do you live in a house crammed full of love, people and things? I wonder if you ever yearn for your own space. And what kind of pictures would you hang on the walls if you had a studio of your own?
Yes, this is a helpful post, Sue! Our oldest will begin college in August, almost 3 hours away, and yes, she will come home when she can or wants to, but the house will change, and soon after, in about 2 years, 2 more kids plan to move on to post-high school opportunities. The world calls them! But they know they can come back home for a meal or a visit. I do not yet know how we will use the space. My heart aches a little thinking about less clutter which is quite different from what I imagined my heart to feel years ago!
Staci,
You have some big changes ahead of you! It’s both exciting and sad when our children leave home. We’re proud of our kids and know it’s the right time for them to set off on new adventures, but we miss them being in the family home.
Oh yes, years again we yearned to have more space and less clutter, but all the mess and chaos were bound up with love. A spacious clean and tidy home without kids isn’t as good as it used to sound. I think often of my daughter’s description of our home: “Our house has elastic walls. There’s always room for one more.” We crammed into some unique places, some very small, with all our possessions, but we were always happy.
Staci, congratulations to your eldest child for getting into college. I hope the transition to moving away from home goes smoothly. This new stage of your family’s life will be good, I’m sure! xxx