My mother-in-law visited us for the birth of our son, Thomas. After he died and we’d buried him in his tiny white casket, Andy’s mother asked me if we wanted more children.
As I replied, “Oh, yes!”, my mother-in-law’s face dropped into a disapproving frown. “She thinks we already have enough kids,” I thought as my defence hackles rose. But that wasn’t it. I’d misunderstood.
In S3E3 of The Ladies Fixing the World podcast, How Unschoolers Can Deal with Questions and Sceptics, Cecilie Conrad, Sandra Dodd, and I shared stories and strategies for times when people ask us about unschooling: What is unschooling? Why do you do it? Surely unschooling isn’t a sensible idea?
I was inclined to share how annoyed and impatient I feel when people criticise our way of life, but Sandra had a different approach. She suggested we react with kindness when questioned, especially when we’re talking with those who care about us. Maybe people’s concerns come from a place of love.
I remember my mother-in-law’s face when she heard I was hoping for another child after Thomas died. It didn’t drop with disapproval. It creased into lines of love and concern. Andy and I experienced excruciating pain when we lost our baby. My mother-in-law didn’t want us to feel that suffering again. Another pregnancy was risky.
But we risked more suffering. We had to. We felt it was the right thing to do. And yes, we experienced more pain. But we also received the blessing of two more daughters. I’m sure my mother-in-law rejoiced with us when Sophie and Gemma-Rose were born.
I don’t think I told this story during S3E3 of the Ladies podcast, but I shared lots of others. And so did Cecilie and Sandra. Hopefully, our experiences will give you some ideas for interacting with people who aren’t convinced we’ve made sensible choices. And maybe the podcast episode will reassure you that, despite sometimes feeling awkward about other people’s questions, we should do what we think is right for our families. If we meet people’s concerns gently and answer them in a helpful way, maybe we can engage their interest and even their support.
So, here’s S3E3 of The Ladies Fixing the World.
The video version
The podcast version
Also available on all other podcast platforms – find the links here.
Shownotes
How do you handle skeptical questions about unschooling without freezing, defending, or preaching? Cecilie, Sandra, and Sue share real-life stories and gentle scripts for staying kind, grounded, and clear when people don’t understand unschooling.
A simple question at the checkout—“Where do your kids go to school?”—can feel like an audit of your whole life. We’ve been there. In this candid conversation, we unpack how to meet skepticism without losing our center, find common ground with grandparents and professionals, and why one honest story beats a 30-minute explanation every time.
We start by reframing the moment of doubt. Most people aren’t attacking; they’re caring in the way they know. That’s why we lead with short, reassuring answers, choose plain language over labels, and save deep dives for those who truly want them. From grocery-aisle small talk to tense family dinners, we’ve found that “It’s working for now; if it stops, we’ll change” is a powerful pressure valve. We also explore what not to say: words like freedom can inflame worries, while bridges like “We all want the best for kids” invite real dialogue.
You’ll hear specific strategies for navigating grandparents’ concerns, interacting respectfully with mandatory reporters, and keeping peace in homeschool groups when you’re the only unschooler. We share practical tactics—meeting in neutral spaces like museums, offering one vivid story instead of a philosophy, and using blogs or resource pages to answer complex questions once, well. Along the way, we admit where we misstepped, and how fair critique nudged us to add scaffolding, rethink math pathways, and keep options open without recreating school at home.
If you’ve ever frozen under a skeptical stare or wished for the perfect one-liner, this episode offers humane scripts, real stories, and a mindset shift: assume goodwill, stay kind, and let everyday learning speak for itself.
🔗 Sandra, Sue and Cecilie’s websites
Photos
Last Sunday, Andy and I stopped at the cemetery after Mass to put fresh flowers on Thomas’ grave.
So, how do you cope with questions from strangers at the supermarket checkout? What about concerns from your extended family? Do ever feel frustrated? Or do you assume goodwill, stay kind and let learning speak for itself?
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