Letting Go of Control

On Saturday evening, Jessie, Quinn’s sister, died. My son Callum’s Shar Pei/Great Dane puppy was bitten by a 2-metre-long brown snake. Her death wasn’t in The Plan. She should have lived for years. Instead, the Jessie stories have suddenly come…

Who Would We Be Without Unschooling?

Unschooling changes parents as well as kids. We learn, face life’s challenges with courage, soak up the joys, do things we never expected. We grow and become different people from those we were when we first set out on our…

Giving a Child Unasked-For Help

The other day, I went to the library with my older girls. Sophie and Gemma-Rose weren’t with us. I decided to choose a few books for my younger daughters, and when I got home, I presented them with the small…

Unschooling: Haircut Courage

When I asked the hairdresser to cut my hair short, I had a definite idea of what I wanted. ”I like Andrea’s hairstyle,” I said, mentioning the name of a well-known TV presenter. “Could you cut my hair like hers?”…

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Where I’m At With My Unschool Blog

I’ve created a monster, a huge blog that needs a lot of maintenance. It’s sucking up my money and time and giving me headaches. Frequently, this blog falls apart or runs so slowly that readers give up waiting for new pages to appear. I understand how visitors might get frustrated. Some days, even I don’t want to go anywhere near my blog. I’m tempted to hit the delete button to eliminate all the problems I don’t want to fix. I’ve…

Unschool Cool: Why Being Different Is Our Superpower

When I was eleven, a girl at school asked, “What’s your favourite song?” Looking back, I realise her question was a trap. Of course, I fell straight into it. “Delilah,” I replied, plucking a random song out of my memory. “Delilah?” “Yes. Tom Jones.” The girl smirked and shouted over her shoulder to her friends, “Sue likes Delilah!” As I listened to the girls’ laughter, I realised that Tom Jones wasn’t cool. His music belonged to our parents’ time. I…

Why Unschoolers Are the Real Cool Kids

I was once a cool kid. And then I wasn’t. When I was nine, I was clever and lively, one of the kids who got noticed. Best of all, I was part of a girl band that performed on the concrete ‘stage’ behind the toilet block in the school playground each lunchtime. I couldn’t sing very well, but somehow I was accepted. And many girls in my class envied me. Not everyone could belong to our band. Then something…

Unschooling Isn’t Freedom Gone Wild: Why Choices Matter More Than Ideals

My husband Andy returned to work today after two weeks at home. Holiday time is over. We’ve now moved into term time. A whole term of possibility days stretches before me. I’m free to do whatever I like with my time while Andy is at school. My eyes light up with delight. But then I remember there are many things I must do that I may not want to do. I have housework, dinner making and dog walking to…

Unschooling, Attachment, and the Art of Letting Go: Building Trust Instead of Rules

We don’t make rules in our family, so how do my children know what is right and what is wrong, if they aren’t guided by clearly stated limits?  Do I believe my own quiet example of appropriate behaviour is all that is needed in order to influence my children? Perhaps I stand back, hands-off, and let my children behave as they choose? I decide to ponder a few ideas with my children, in an attempt to find the answers to…

The Saturday Unschool Examen

Every Saturday, while my husband, youngest daughter and dogs are still in bed, I sit on the living room sofa, journal on my knee, scrawny cat by my side, and by the light of a lamp in the pre-dawn dark, do my Saturday examen. I reflect on the week just passed, remembering the highlights, the low points, the successes and failures, and the little delights. I feel grateful, thankful, blessed, forgiving, and contrite. I think of the week ahead.…

Unschool Crime Connections

Did Erin Patterson murder three people with her beef Wellington? Did she use toxic death cap mushrooms in her deadly dinner? Many people worldwide have been waiting for answers to these questions. Some media dubbed Patterson’s trial as The Mushroom Murders as if there was no question she was guilty, and maybe most people assumed she was. The evidence seemed strong for the prosecution. When questioned, Erin Patterson said she wanted to cook something special for her unfortunate guests. So,…

How Unschooling Doesn’t Guarantee a Fairytale Life

Yesterday evening, like all Sunday evenings, my kids who live locally came to dinner. Six of us gathered around our dining room table, savouring a meal cooked by my husband while enjoying the usual end-of-the-week lively catch-up conversation. There was a time when we dreamed that all our children would buy houses on the same street as our family home. They’d move one by one, just a few houses away, so that we could gather at each other’s tables and…
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My Unschooling Books

Parents and Kids

The Ladies Fixing the World

How Unschoolers Can Deal with Questions and Sceptics

My mother-in-law visited us for the birth of our son, Thomas. After he died and we’d buried him in his tiny white casket, Andy’s mother asked me if we wanted more children. As I replied, “Oh, yes!”, my mother-in-law’s face dropped into a disapproving frown. “She thinks we already have enough kids,” I thought as my defence hackles rose. But…

Resources for Unschoolers

Strolling towards the shopping centre, I spy an older man with three hand-reared brightly coloured parrots. A few wide-eyed kids are gathered around him, and as I watch, he transfers a parrot to one of their shoulders, where it bounces lightly upon its feet, nuzzling a little ear. The child grins, hardly daring to move. The children have questions which…

Unschooling: Coping With the Unexpected

I used to think I could control my life. To achieve a perfect life, all I had to do was organise everything well, including my kids. What is a perfect life? My perfect life vision included a graduated row of good-looking and well-behaved children. I wanted people to admire my family and home, saying, “Sue is such a good mother!…

Christian unschooling

Christian Unschooling and Other Things

I made a new podcast episode! Yes, after an absence of a few weeks, I’m back. So where did I go? Nowhere in particular. I was just at home enjoying lots of slow summer days. Maybe I was feeling lazy. But yesterday, that changed. I suddenly felt like getting back to work. And so I thought I’d record a catch-up…

Christian Unschooling: Disciplining With Unconditional Love

If our children misbehave, what do we do? Make them sit on the time-out chair? Punish them? Perhaps we should withdraw our love. Be cold and distant. Make things unpleasant for our kids because they need to know how upset we are, don’t they? We want them to feel bad because then, maybe, they’ll remember to act in the right…
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