Pushing Ourselves Instead of Our Kids
Often, we push our kids to try new things, don’t we? We want them to be adventurous. We say, “If you give it a go, you might discover you like it. You might be good at it.’ But what about…
A Wasting Time Unschooling Challenge
When I was a child, I always felt I should be doing something useful rather than sit still and dream, think or watch TV. I thought I had to be productive and not waste time. As an adult, I‘ve discovered…
What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?
“When I grow up, I’m going to be a YouTube Shorts video creator,” I tell Amina. My pretend friend raises her eyebrows and says, “But I thought you wanted to be a graphic designer.” “I could be a graphic designer…
Video Games, Control, Mental Health and Freedom
Are kids more likely to suffer mental health problems if they experience excessive control? Could video games provide a safe space for kids to retreat when life becomes too difficult? If we insist that kids leave their games and they…
Being Unschool Superheroes Who Save the World
A few days ago, it was my husband Andy’s birthday and our children gave him a lot of superhero-themed gifts: an Iron Man t-shirt, the original Hulk DVD and matching socks, a Captain America shirt and a Superman towel. Perfect…
Where I’m At With My Unschool Blog
I’ve created a monster, a huge blog that needs a lot of maintenance. It’s sucking up my money and time and giving me headaches. Frequently, this blog falls apart or runs so slowly that readers give up waiting for new pages to appear. I understand how visitors might get frustrated. Some days, even I don’t want to go anywhere near my blog. I’m tempted to hit the delete button to eliminate all the problems I don’t want to fix. I’ve…
Unschool Cool: Why Being Different Is Our Superpower
When I was eleven, a girl at school asked, “What’s your favourite song?” Looking back, I realise her question was a trap. Of course, I fell straight into it. “Delilah,” I replied, plucking a random song out of my memory. “Delilah?” “Yes. Tom Jones.” The girl smirked and shouted over her shoulder to her friends, “Sue likes Delilah!” As I listened to the girls’ laughter, I realised that Tom Jones wasn’t cool. His music belonged to our parents’ time. I…
Why Unschoolers Are the Real Cool Kids
I was once a cool kid. And then I wasn’t. When I was nine, I was clever and lively, one of the kids who got noticed. Best of all, I was part of a girl band that performed on the concrete ‘stage’ behind the toilet block in the school playground each lunchtime. I couldn’t sing very well, but somehow I was accepted. And many girls in my class envied me. Not everyone could belong to our band. Then something…
Unschooling Isn’t Freedom Gone Wild: Why Choices Matter More Than Ideals
My husband Andy returned to work today after two weeks at home. Holiday time is over. We’ve now moved into term time. A whole term of possibility days stretches before me. I’m free to do whatever I like with my time while Andy is at school. My eyes light up with delight. But then I remember there are many things I must do that I may not want to do. I have housework, dinner making and dog walking to…
Unschooling, Attachment, and the Art of Letting Go: Building Trust Instead of Rules
We don’t make rules in our family, so how do my children know what is right and what is wrong, if they aren’t guided by clearly stated limits? Do I believe my own quiet example of appropriate behaviour is all that is needed in order to influence my children? Perhaps I stand back, hands-off, and let my children behave as they choose? I decide to ponder a few ideas with my children, in an attempt to find the answers to…
The Saturday Unschool Examen
Every Saturday, while my husband, youngest daughter and dogs are still in bed, I sit on the living room sofa, journal on my knee, scrawny cat by my side, and by the light of a lamp in the pre-dawn dark, do my Saturday examen. I reflect on the week just passed, remembering the highlights, the low points, the successes and failures, and the little delights. I feel grateful, thankful, blessed, forgiving, and contrite. I think of the week ahead.…
Unschool Crime Connections
Did Erin Patterson murder three people with her beef Wellington? Did she use toxic death cap mushrooms in her deadly dinner? Many people worldwide have been waiting for answers to these questions. Some media dubbed Patterson’s trial as The Mushroom Murders as if there was no question she was guilty, and maybe most people assumed she was. The evidence seemed strong for the prosecution. When questioned, Erin Patterson said she wanted to cook something special for her unfortunate guests. So,…
How Unschooling Doesn’t Guarantee a Fairytale Life
Yesterday evening, like all Sunday evenings, my kids who live locally came to dinner. Six of us gathered around our dining room table, savouring a meal cooked by my husband while enjoying the usual end-of-the-week lively catch-up conversation. There was a time when we dreamed that all our children would buy houses on the same street as our family home. They’d move one by one, just a few houses away, so that we could gather at each other’s tables and…
When Children Move Out of an Unschool Home
Some parenting ‘experts’ advise us to push our kids out of the family home as soon as possible. They tell us to make our…
What Is Unschooling?
What is unschooling? I’ve been blogging about unschooling for over 5 years now. You’d think I would already have written a post with this…
Old and New Stories, a Book Club and Other Unschooling Things
A few weeks ago, I received a letter from Fr James Tierney who is the author of the Bush Boys children’s books. Fr and…
Unschooling: How Do We Know They’re Learning?
There are loads of unschooling questions we could ask about learning: How do we know unschooling kids are learning? Should they be learning particular things? Is there knowledge that all kids need? Are our unschooled kids learning enough? Can they get behind? Should we just trust our kids are learning? But what if we have doubts? Or what if we…
Unschooling: Coping With the Unexpected
I used to think I could control my life. To achieve a perfect life, all I had to do was organise everything well, including my kids. What is a perfect life? My perfect life vision included a graduated row of good-looking and well-behaved children. I wanted people to admire my family and home, saying, “Sue is such a good mother!…
Resources for Unschoolers
Strolling towards the shopping centre, I spy an older man with three hand-reared brightly coloured parrots. A few wide-eyed kids are gathered around him, and as I watch, he transfers a parrot to one of their shoulders, where it bounces lightly upon its feet, nuzzling a little ear. The child grins, hardly daring to move. The children have questions which…
Is It Okay if Parents Want to Influence Their Unschooling Kids?
Is it okay if we try to influence our unschooling kids? What if we’d like them to acquire particular values? Can we expose them to our beliefs? Or should we stand back and try to keep quiet about the things we base our lives on and let our kids work out everything for themselves? Let’s say we decide it’s…
The Discomfort of Letting Go and Allowing Our Kids (and Ourselves) to Grow
We organise life so we’re not challenged too much. We don’t want to stray outside our comfort zone because that could be painful. We say no instead of yes to our kids, not wanting them to go to parties at night, ride their bikes on the road, run through the bush alone, or learn to drive. We don’t want thoughts…