Video Games, Control, Mental Health and Freedom

Like many people, I had a hard time during the covid years, especially during the extended lockdowns. I lost control of my life. Someone else was making the decisions and telling me what I could and couldn’t do. And those decisions didn’t make much sense. But I had to accept them because there were penalties for not falling in line and doing what I was told.

My mental health suffered. I remember saying to my husband, “I don’t want to live in this world anymore,” thinking how easy it would be to let my mind slip away from the problems and go somewhere else. If I lost my mind, all the restrictions, contradictions and pain would no longer be able to hurt me. I’d live where no one and nothing could reach me.

Fortunately, I survived that time with my mind intact. One of the things that helped me was video games. When life became unbearable, which was often, I’d open my iPad and enter the Monster’s Expedition world, travelling from island to island, pushing down trees, challenging myself to solve a few puzzles. Although I’d lost control of my life, I was in complete control of my game.

After the crisis was over, I thought about these questions:

Are kids more likely to suffer mental health problems if they experience excessive control?

Could video games provide a safe space for kids to retreat when life becomes too difficult?

If we insist that kids leave their games and they get upset, could it be the real world that we’re forcing them to return to that’s the problem and not the video games?

And if kids do have genuine trouble handling games and protest loudly when we take them away, how will they learn to deal with their feelings if they’re not allowed to play?

I’m not saying I have the correct answers to those questions, but it’s interesting to ponder possibilities, isn’t it? It’s also good to examine our own experiences.

I finished Monster’s Expedition a long time ago. I’ve moved on to other games. At the moment, mostly because I’m unwell and need a break from my everyday life, I’m playing The Witness, another open-world puzzle game. Sometimes I get frustrated when I can’t solve a puzzle. I declare I’ve had enough. “It’s a stupid game!” I announce to anyone who’ll listen. But I keep thinking about the problems and returning to improve my skills. And when I do find the correct answer, I grin. And I boast, “I’m so clever!” I thought my way through the challenge.

That’s the thing about video games: while we’re playing, we’re improving our thinking and other skills. We’re also having fun. Unless we’re stuck and can’t move forward. But then we might decide to persevere. The ability to not give up is valuable too.

I’ve got a few games on my want-to-play list:

Viewfinder
What Remains of Edith Finch
Botanicula
Machinarium
Journey

I’ve no idea if the games are worth playing, but I’ll find out whenever my brain needs a workout, or I feel like retreating from the world.

I’ve written a lot of posts about technology, including video games. Today, I’m highlighting two of them. They contain thoughts about freedom, control, mental health and the value of video games.

Could a Lack of Freedom Damage Our Kids’ Mental Health?

On the first morning of my recent holiday with my daughter Imogen, I got up early, grabbed my camera and headed to the beach. I sat alone on the sand, waiting for the sun to rise and thought about freedom ...

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Can Video Games Be Safe Places For Our Kids (And Us)?

Do kids who are denied their freedom want to spend a lot of time on their devices? Do they retreat into their games because, unlike the real world, they’re in control of these virtual ones? Do kids use games as a safe refuge from a sometimes difficult real world? Are devices and video games and the reason kids want to spend so much time in front of their screens more complicated than we first imagine? ...

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The Podcast Version of This Post

Kids and Screens, Pondering Digital Tech From a Few Angles

Erin, Hayley and Ashley, from the Virtual Kitchen Table podcast, recently chatted about kids and screens with Missy Willis.

Part One

Part Two

Photos

A video game isn’t the only place I retreat to during difficult times. I also leave my problems behind when I enter the beautiful bush close to home. During the covid lockdowns, I got to know all the plants along the main fire trail, checking them each day, exclaiming with delight when they burst into flower. I took these photos almost two years ago. The purple flower is hardenbergia. In the last week or so, this plant has started flowering. A new season is approaching. We’re going around the cycle once again.

So, what do you think?

Have you had any experience with mental health issues? Do your kids love to play video games? What about you? If you do like to adventure in virtual worlds, do you have any game recommendations?