Fearing Our Kids Will Fail
When I was about eleven or twelve, I swam in a school carnival. I didn’t want to. You see, I wasn’t a strong swimmer. I was rather alarmed when I found out that I’d been entered for a freestyle race. The only good thing about the race was that it was short. I only had to swim the width of the pool. Anyone could do that, couldn’t they? Except somehow I didn’t manage to get across the pool in one go.
Later that day, while I was on the train bound for home, one of the children I was travelling with said, “Did you see that girl who stopped during the race? She couldn’t even swim a width of the pool.” When everyone giggled, I remained silent. I didn’t say, “Hey, that girl was me!”
I’d failed to swim the width of the pool. My fellow students had laughed. I’d felt awful.
Sometimes I fear for my kids. I want to discourage them from doing things just in case they fail. I don’t want them to experience the embarrassment and humiliation that I had to deal with as a child.
In my story Fearing Our Kids Will Fail, I wrote:
Why do I fear for my kids? Do I remember my own experiences of failing? Do the words of disappointed people still echo in my head? “I thought you said you could do that. You’ll have to try harder if you want to succeed.” Do I once again hear the laughs of my peers? “Did you see that girl who couldn’t even swim the width of the pool? She stood up in the middle of the race!” Perhaps I decided that it was better not even to try.
In this week’s podcast, episode 157, I’m sharing this story which is from my book Curious Unschoolers.
I’m also discussing the following questions:
Do things sometimes seem like they’ll never change?
Is ‘grinned’ a fabulous word?
Do we notice and worry about things that relate to ourselves that others don’t notice?
Do our fears for our kids get in the way of encouraging them to do the things they enjoy?
Can our fears deprive our kids of joy?
Is failing really a big deal?
What’s my latest unschooling book idea?
Where are we going when we take unschooling on the road?
Does encouragement work both ways?
Photos
Sophie is having fun with big brother Callum. Earlier, they’d gone to the gym together. That’s why Sophie is still wearing her gym gear. Before she had a chance to change her clothes, Callum said, “Does anyone want to go for a drive?”
Thank you for listening to this episode
If you enjoy my podcast, please consider sharing the link so that we can spread the word about unschooling. A quick review or rating would help too!
Please feel welcome to leave a comment
You could let me know what you think about my new unschooling book idea.
Do you ever fear for your kids?
Maybe you have a fear of failing story of your own to share.