Christian Unschooling: Do Kids Need Silence and Space to Hear God?

When I was a child, I’d let my mind wander as I pondered these questions:

Am I real? Am I living in a dream? If I am in a dream, who is dreaming me?

Sometimes, I had to bring myself back to the real world around me because I feared I’d lose my mind if I allowed it to wander too far.

Although I was baptised as a baby, I didn’t receive any religious instruction at home as a child. But I still wondered about God. One night, climbing into bed, I thought, “If God is real, I ought to pray to Him.” So, I closed my eyes and said in my head – because I didn’t want anyone to hear – “Dear God…” I can’t remember what I said next. Maybe I had a list of requests. My commitment to pray lasted only a few days.

Then, one Sunday, I announced to my family that I was going to Sunday School. I walked up the road to the church and joined a few neighbourhood kids, sitting on a high bench swinging my legs, bumping them against the cupboards below while I listened to stories about Jesus. I clutched a shiny red bag on my lap – I wonder what was in it – that caused me some angst. Was a red bag acceptable at Sunday school? Perhaps I should have left it at home. It’s strange: red seemed sacred, not meant for ordinary people like me. Could I have associated it with the Passion and death of Jesus, even though I didn’t know much about it? Like praying before sleep, Sunday school didn’t last long.

When I was about ten years old, I was enrolled in a private Anglican school run by nuns in traditional habits, not for religious reasons but because the school had a reputation for academic excellence. Each week, I followed my class into the chapel for a service that went right over my head. Some of the girls had Bibles. I didn’t. I looked longingly at Jane’s as she opened it with her long, freckled fingers, exposing beautiful gold-accented prayer cards tucked between its pages. My heart yearned for a similar Bible and cards of my own.

My next religious encounter occurred when I marched with the rest of my high school to a local church for some special occasion. My most significant memory from this experience was a feeling of embarrassment. I had nothing to put on the collection plate when it passed from girl to girl along the pew and arrived at me. After the service, I approached my teacher and apologised for my lack of a monetary gift: I hadn’t known about the collection custom. From that day forward, I always made sure I had a few coins in my pocket in case I ever found myself in a church again.

Looking back on my childhood memories of religion, I feel God was whispering in my ear. He was there. He was real. He created me.

These ideas seemed so fantastical that, in my child’s mind, it must have been a dream. The real world was far too ordinary to explain God and His love for me.

As Christian parents, we want to share our faith with our kids. It’s important. It’s our duty. So how do we do that? Do we need to insist our kids believe in the Truth and accept what we say? Perhaps we should allow no room for pondering and questioning. Because what will happen if our children decide we’re wrong and go their own way? Will they be lost?

Or should we share our faith – how can we not when our love for it flows from us – but not be overbearing and insistent, trusting God who can whisper in our children’s ears?

God spoke to me. Bit by bit, in His perfect way, He brought me through an almost faith-less childhood to Him, drawing me with His love as I pondered, “Is God real? Did He create me? Are there rules to loving God? What about colours and collections and prayer? Why am I here? What does God want me to do? How much does He love me?”

My story isn’t straightforward. I went off-course a few times. It took me a while to invite God properly into my life. But I got there.

And it all began with a few whispers from God when I was a child.

Challenge

You could:

1. Buy your children beautiful Bibles of their own with no strings attached.
2. Tuck a few prayer cards between the pages.
3. Put your Bible in a convenient place where you can see and use it.
4. Tuck a few prayer cards between the pages of your Bibles.
5. If your Bible is too big to pop in a pocket, a bag or under your arm, perhaps you could get an additional one.

I have a few Catholic Bibles: a grand gold-edged Douay Rheims one that used to live in a box, an abandoned family Bible I rescued from a secondhand shop, a Word on Fire Bible with extra articles and images, and a Catholic Adventure Bible with a Biblical timeline. But my heart still yearns for an easy-to-hold, leather-bound version that I can carry with me, filled with cards that can mark my place when I read a passage or two at odd moments of the day. I’ve been wondering: am I greedy for wanting more? But this is the Word of God! We can never get too much of that, can we?

Perhaps beauty, like that found in our Bibles and prayer cards, can lead kids to God. Kids also need our example. And how about silence? Do children need space to ponder and wonder and make sense of the world? Do we?

Featured Image

This image of a man standing at the entrance of a cave was taken by Tim Foster on Unsplash

1 Kings 11-13

He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.

When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

Something Extra

Here’s a vlog about Christian unschooling from several years ago. I shared some thoughts about wanting to organise our lives perfectly, allowing God space to act in our kids’ lives, and trusting God and our kids.

Did you know?

Did you know there’s a Christian Unschooling section in my book Radical Unschool Love?

Part XVIII: Our Values and Beliefs

What if We Have Differing Beliefs and Opinions?

Protecting Kids from Outside Influences

Sharing Our Values and Beliefs With Our Children

What if Your Right is My Wrong?

Part XIX: Christian Unschooling

An Impossible Adventure

Letting Go of Control

Faith and Trust

What if Our Kids Don’t Want to Go to Church?

Can Unschooling Be a Christian Thing to Do?

Experience, Wisdom and Original Sin

Losing Time

Should Parents Demand Obedience?

Are Desires Important?

Disciplining with Unconditional Love

Letting God into Our Kids’ Lives

So, what do you think?

What were your childhood experiences of God? Did you ever hear Him whispering to you? Although we need to share our faith with our kids, do you think we must also allow space for God to speak to them?

Please stop by, add your thoughts and say hello!

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