Let’s be realistic: no one will freely choose to do what’s difficult and unpleasant, will they?
A mother once told me this is exactly what she believed: “My kids won’t do things like chores unless I force them.”
I asked how she knew that, and she replied, “Because I know myself. I’m lazy. I often avoid doing things that are not pleasant.”
I understood what the woman was saying. We all have times when we’d rather let someone else do the work than do it ourselves. We’re all capable of putting ourselves first. We’re tempted to use our parent status to avoid working.
We could shrug our shoulders, make excuses, and say, “It’s true, I don’t want to do the chores (or whatever it is).” We could convince ourselves that that’s okay: “I do enough already.” But what we’re willing to accept for ourselves is unacceptable for our kids.
The mother I was chatting with thought it was good for her kids to get into the habit of working hard by making them do unpleasant and sometimes difficult family tasks. Did she hope her kids would turn out differently from her? Would they? Maybe not. So what’s the answer?
What if we begin with ourselves, putting aside our freedom to do what we like (because we’re the parents) and instead do what’s right? We could do what we expect our kids to do. Although we might not like the work, we could do it with a spirit of joy because we’re doing it for those we love.
Love can motivate us to do difficult things, can’t it? It can eject us off the sofa to help with the dishes, lower our books when someone needs us to listen, throw back the blankets in the middle of the night when a child is hungry or frightened, and push us to give just a bit more when we’re exhausted.
We have a choice. We could stay on the sofa, keep our eyes on our book, ignore our child’s needs by remaining under the blankets, and give in when tired. We are free to do whatever we like. But will we be happy?
True happiness only comes from love, and love involves giving up our freedom. That’s the message we hope to pass on to our kids.
“What if you do the unpleasant things you usually avoid?” I asked the mother, who admitted she was lazy. I also asked this question of myself.
One day, I admitted I needed to change. I decided to cheerfully help my kids and join in with the chores, whether I felt like it or not. It wasn’t easy. Sometimes, I failed, but I kept trying. Why? Because I love.
Is love the best reason for giving up the freedom to do whatever we like? What do you think?
Some Related Posts
For My Magnificent Supporters
Here’s a post for my Buy Me a Coffee supporters. A virtual coffee helps keep my blog online. It also gives you access to all my password-protected posts.
Sometimes I want to delete my Buy Me a Coffee account because I don’t like the idea of exchanging money for unschooling help. But, unfortunately, there are lots of bills associated with keeping my blog and podcast online. Maybe there are a few readers who like what I do and would like to help. That’s why my ever-hopeful coffee button remains on my blog!
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Andy and Gemma-Rose helping each other in the kitchen.
